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The Dr. John Delony Show

My Husband Divorced Me Because I Watched Porn

Wed, 28 May 2025

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On today’s episode, we hear about: ·       A wife trying to overcome her feelings of guilt following a painful divorce ·       A man wondering if he should go back to living in his car ·       A man unsure how to support his best friend after a devastating diagnosis Next Steps:📞 Ask John a question! Call 844-693-3291 or send us a message. 📚 Building a Non-Anxious Life 📝 Anxiety Test  📚 Own Your Past, Change Your Future  ❓ Questions for Humans Conversation Cards  💭 John's Free Guided Meditation  🤘🏼 The Dr. John Delony Show Merch Connect With Our Sponsors: 🌱 Get 10% off your first month of BetterHelp. 🔴 Get 15% off with code DELONY at Bon Charge. 🌿 Get up to 40% off with code DELONY at Cozy Earth.  🔒 Get 20% off when you join DeleteMe. 😇 Go to Hallow for a 90-day free trial. 💤 Visit Helix Sleep for special offers! 🥤 Get 20% off with code DELONY at Organifi.  💪 Get 25% off your order at Thorne.  🏋️ Go to Trainwell to get started! Explore More From Ramsey Network: 🎙️ The Ramsey Show 💸 The Ramsey Show Highlights   🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour 💡 The Rachel Cruze Show 💰 George Kamel 🪑 Front Row Seat with Ken Coleman 📈 EntreLeadership   Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: Why did the divorce happen?

277.58 - 277.82 Caller

Yes.

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278.0 - 297.925 Dr. John Delony

Do you feel horrible that you were worth more than putting your head in the sand? Do you feel horrible that you don't trust yourself because you knew for all these years what was going on and you chose not to do anything about it? Because I think you feel horrible, potentially. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's all about pornography. I just don't think so.

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299.647 - 324.456 Dr. John Delony

You violated your own moral compass when it comes to pornography, fine. And you're allowed to feel guilty. Guilt is a good emotion. It signals us when we have violated one of our own internal values. And if that's a value you violated, cool. Feel guilty. But don't you dare peg the collapse of your marriage on that one thing. Similarly, flip it around.

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325.317 - 343.131 Dr. John Delony

If he was looking at pornography, which would put him 90 plus percent of all men in America, and you cheated on him eight different times with eight different men. If you looked at him and said, hey, this is your fault. Come on.

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345.299 - 366.205 Anne

Yeah. I know in reality, like I can see, I can see that writing on the wall and I do know you're, you're right. I think I just, I know it's going to come up as my son grows up and I know that he's, my ex-husband is very angry with me and I know that his family.

366.465 - 385.896 Dr. John Delony

Hold on. Why? I think you're so blinded by the gas lights. They're so bright. He cheated on you eight times. He had sex with eight different people. Yeah. Call me crazy. That is a different level of betrayal. In my book, it is.

385.916 - 388.358 Anne

It is.

388.538 - 390.039 Dr. John Delony

It's a cosmic different level.

393.322 - 409.209 Anne

He said it was me stepping out ultimately on him as well because I wasn't wanting to be physical with him because I was scared of him. I didn't know who he was with. Therefore, I wasn't wanting to have relations often with him at all. Hold on.

Chapter 2: How to cope with feelings of guilt after divorce?

1210.834 - 1227.96 Dr. John Delony

Thanks for the call, sister. Coming up next, we talk to a man who is thinking about being homeless again. Okay, it's time for a quick word about Delete Me. Does anyone else feel like our digital footprints are starting to feel more like digital trails leading people right back to us?

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1228.36 - 1247.447 Dr. John Delony

And now scammers are using phishing attacks with a PH where they try to trick you into giving them something by pretending to know you and be your friend and be all trying to help you out. And you get an email or a text or a phone call and the person or the AI bot on the other end sounds like someone who's looking out for you. They're not.

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1248.047 - 1267.524 Dr. John Delony

With the new technological advancements, no one is really safe. So what's any of us to do? You can start by controlling what you can. You can learn about how to be careful offline and online, and you can sign up with Delete Me. I use and recommend Delete.me because they work in the background to reduce my online presence.

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1267.844 - 1289.03 Dr. John Delony

That way, I don't have to worry about creepy data brokers having all of my data and trying to sell it to each other. Delete.me has reviewed over tens of thousands of sites for me and they've removed my data from hundreds of them, which has saved me countless hours and a ton of stress. Stop phishing attacks. Stop online harassment and threats before they start.

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1289.35 - 1313.152 Dr. John Delony

And take control of your digital privacy with Delete.me. Go to joindeleteme.com slash deloney today for 20% off their annual plan. That comes out to less than $9 a month. That's join, J-O-I-N, deleteme.com slash deloney. Hey, here's a quick word about the best mattress in the world, Helix mattresses.

1313.652 - 1336.972 Dr. John Delony

Spring is here and that means the darkness and the cold has finally lifted and we can get back into the swing of actually being living human beings. Spring break, summer plans, I feel like I'm coming back to life. So listen, let's reset. Most of us have already blown our resolutions out of the water. Let's reset and make today day one for a great year. And the top of the list of the reset,

1337.492 - 1356.119 Dr. John Delony

great sleep. Great sleep is the foundation for everything in our lives, and this is where my friends at Helix come in clutch. I've slept on everything, cheap mattresses, bad hotel mattresses, hunting camp sleep pads, overpriced mattresses, you name it. But when I switched to my Helix mattress, everything changed.

1356.459 - 1377.829 Dr. John Delony

I fall asleep faster, I fall asleep deeper, and I wake up feeling restored, rested, and ready to rock and roll. And because every person is different, Helix has a mattress designed just for you. Side sleeper, back sleeper, sleep hot, sleep cold, your spine need a little extra care. Whatever it is, Helix mattresses have got you covered. You can take the Helix Sleep Quiz just like I did.

1378.109 - 1401.836 Dr. John Delony

It takes less than two minutes, and you get online, and they'll help you find the perfect mattress for you. Plus, Helix gives you 100 nights to try it out risk-free. Right now, my audience gets 27% off site-wide plus a free bedding bundle with any Lux or Elite mattress purchase. Go to helixsleep.com slash Diloni. And if you get a post-purchase survey, tell them you heard about it on this show.

Chapter 3: What is the impact of pornography on relationships?

1618.992 - 1631.183 Asher

And, uh, I've just, um, during that time I've just been doing like little odd jobs, like little things on Craigslist that people need, need done, uh, driving DoorDash, like just any, any little thing. And, um, uh,

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1631.813 - 1650.619 Asher

During my time in, like, software sales and stuff like that, I would just, like, I would go to work, get up at the same time, and, like, kind of just grind it out to be able to, like, you know, keep the lights on, pay rent, and stuff like that. And I don't really have that high of standards. I don't really need a whole lot.

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1651.119 - 1662.954 Asher

So, like, I just, I've been in the state of mind right now where it's just, like, Like, okay, like, like, like you get up and do all that. Like, like why you don't, you don't need it. And sure.

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1663.094 - 1690.133 Dr. John Delony

And it clearly don't like, uh, I was gonna say like that same thing applies for you right now with, with lifting weights. Like why I'm not playing football. I'm not in college athlete. I'm not fighting anybody. Why in your 60 year old self, whose hip has degenerated. And I've got to do 40 years with artificial hips or I can't move. And my health has fallen off a cliff.

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1691.954 - 1712.408 Dr. John Delony

Is going to say, man, I wish you had have. And so you're right. Doing the calculation right now, you have no responsibilities and you have no purpose. And so when you are absent those two things, which by the way, this is a cultural issue. This is not an Asher issue, man. So I'm not coming at you. Like you are, you are asking the questions that everyone should be asking right now.

1714.926 - 1733.62 Dr. John Delony

the job market is chaos they told us a bill of goods going to college is going to solve all of our problems that if you just get this degree and you probably listened a job in stem cool great and exactly what i did yeah you're like this sucks i keep getting laid off i keep getting fired i keep look whatever um

1735.618 - 1755.93 Dr. John Delony

I'm just going to tell you right now, the greatest gift you could give 27-year-old Asher, the greatest gift you could give 37-year-old Asher, the greatest gift you could give 77-year-old Asher is not stuff. So the question about should I live in my car, I could give you all the data on how your amygdala functions in an unsafe environment. It feels cool to take a two-week vacation and go camping.

1756.01 - 1779.362 Dr. John Delony

I would never recommend anyone pack up and move to the woods. Right? That comes at a cost. But what you felt was a... You've been living in a failure factory for the last five years since you graduated college, and it just felt good to opt out for a minute. The greatest gift you could give yourself, your 27-year-old self and on, is to go find a squat bar and get under it.

1779.382 - 1802.216 Dr. John Delony

And I'm not talking about a weight room. The greatest gift you can give yourself is responsibilities. The greatest gift you could give yourself is purpose. And you don't have either of those things. responsibilities to a young adult, to somebody in their 20s and 30s, is the weightlifting for your mind and your body and your spirit.

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