Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Hodaki Big Show with Jase, Mike and Keezy. Tune in weekdays at 4 on Radio Hodaki.
Pixies there on the Radio Hodaki Big Show this Monday evening. Fellas, let's give out some advice. Be pretty nips 69 at gmail.com. Get in touch with the fellas. With the fellas! Jase, do you have to yell that? Yes. Okay, fair enough. It's a real email address, meetpaddynips69 at gmail.com.
Chapter 2: What humorous advice do the hosts give about relationships?
Get in touch with an advice question, we're 100% anonymous, and if we read it on the show, boom, you get a prize. Fellas, this one comes in from Anonymous. G'day there, fellas.
Fell.
So my mate has had this... You all good, man? You all right? Yeah, man, sorry. What are you coughing on? All that vapour. No, it's the Nicorette, actually. Right, okay.
Okay.
G'day, fellas. Anonymous here. Oh, yes. You said that. So my mate has had this girlfriend for about five months now, and let's just say I'm not the biggest fan. I haven't said anything or implied anything, but her and them together are really getting to me. How old is this? What should I do about this?
Is that an old one? No, it's a new one. Okay. What do you think? Sleep with him. Make her jealous.
I feel like we've done this before. It's a genuine conundrum, though, especially, you know, certainly in my case. Yeah. Like no one likes your wife.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts react to a listener's dilemma about a friend's girlfriend?
Or no one likes you. Or no one likes you. Literally neither of those. Probably more accurately. Well, when I was a young fella, I was welded at the hip to this other fella. We were best mates. Oh, yeah. And then he got a girlfriend and then all of a sudden, cold turkey. Yes. It's tough. It's tough.
And it's also hard to know whether I did that to other mates when I met Lucy, my now wife, you know?
Yes. Yeah, I had the same thing happen. I had a mate and then he would just disappear. But you can understand when you're a young fella and you've got your old mate leading you astray, you can understand it. But then this is a different sort of thing because it's not a case of somebody leading you astray like a partner.
It's just that she's still there, he's still there, but he doesn't like them together.
Is that what he's saying? Essentially, yeah. I'm not the biggest fan. Not the biggest fan.
So what do I do when your best mate or a mate gets a new missus or mister and you can't bear them? It is tricky. It's also a classic. It's very tricky. It sounds like you're in love with her.
I... I was guilty of that. When I'd meet someone, I'd just ditch all my mates. Yeah. Just make love all the time. Yeah. Not really, though.
Just follow them around.
And you know what I always love is when you break up with someone.
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Chapter 4: What funny anecdotes do the hosts share about friendships and partners?
Partner's coming. Or change expectations. I'm all good. Yeah. Which is a shame. What day was that? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's like how we're all going to go together to this comedy night in a few weeks' time. Oh, yes. With all the partners. Yes. And so I'll be bringing my partner. And you'll be bringing your part. It'll be great. Why'd you say it like that? Yeah, it was a bit weird. What do you mean?
I just said it'll be great. I always say it like that. It'll be great. What are you saying, Keezy? Nothing. Okay, I'll admit, I don't like you and your wife together. All right, Jase, I think it's time for you to break up. All right? There it's out.
That email was from me.
That email was from me. But yeah, bang him and then she'll get jealous.
Yeah, yeah, sure. The Hauraki Big Show. Weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.
Green day there on the Radio Hauraki Big Show this Tuesday night at the time, 6.36. Fellas, let's look at current events. What's on the news? With me, KZ. Why are there like... Bowling balls in your sting. I have no idea. Pugs made it. Fellas, huge news out of South Africa. There was a missing hotelier. Oh, hotelier. Hotelier. 59-year-old Gabriel Batista was his name. He's missing.
They didn't know where he was. There was some flooding that happened. And then, unfortunately, someone spotted a really massive crocodile. Oh, God. Huge. Huge. And when the helicopter flew overhead, it didn't even bother hopping in the river or getting out of the way or anything. Usually they'll jump underwater. This one was so big it didn't even bother.
And they were like, hang on, we've got to check this croc out. Fortunately, they tranquilized the crocodile there, checked inside its puku. Yeah. And old Gabrielle was in there. They also found six other pairs of shoes. What?
inside the crocodile now people were like oh no it's eating all these other people but actually they were saying you know following a flood crocodiles would just eat anything so if a shoe floats past boom you'll eat it yeah but also could have been six people it could have also been we don't know we just don't know because i saw the image there and because it was getting dragged underneath the helicopter that crocodile yeah i thought it was doing a one of those helicopter helicopter bungee jumps or something the crocodile yeah did you also notice a guy above the crocodile
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Chapter 5: What bizarre news story involving a crocodile is discussed?
Yes. And they store their food out there.
So one of the peasants, as you call it.
Oh, well, they're not here, so I might as well just help myself. Yeah, you may as well. I mean, you only get paid like 20 times the amount they do. True. Lucky bastard. Hey, fellas, I've actually got a food dilemma as well. Oh, my God. So tonight for dinner, we were like, oh, let's make it easy. Lucy, my wife's mother, she quite often cooks lots of stuff and then puts it in her freezer.
And then when she comes up to Auckland, she'll bring a bag full of frozen food for us to have whenever we need a quick meal, which is really great. Like your cheese rolls, for example. Yes, she makes punnets of soup and then frozen things of cheese rolls. I get a couple of cheese rolls out, put them in the oven, cook the soup up. Beautiful combo. Does she fly up with that stuff?
Sometimes, yeah, or usually when we go down to Christchurch, we'll do like a check-in bag and fill it up with food. It rules, man. Nice. So tonight we were like, let's get out that homemade pie she made and have that for dinner tonight. So I got the homemade pie out, and I was like, man, it sure looked a lot bigger.
down at the bottom of the deep freeze there, when I reached down and pulled it up to my face, I was like, that's a one-player pie. That is for one person. It's a Keezy pie. To be honest, yeah. It's not even a Keezy pie. It's not even a Keezy pie. So it's bigger than, I'd say, a pie you'd get from the gas station. It's slightly bigger than that.
If you were to stretch out a pie from the gas station slightly, like maybe five centimetres, and make it into an oval... You know, stretch it out.
So it's enough for two.
More than enough for two. It's not quite enough for two. Oh. And my wife's got home and she's seen it and she's agreed. She's like, oh, it's probably not enough for both of us, is it? So my question is, how do I flesh out that meal?
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts describe the crocodile's unexpected behavior?
Because I've suggested, why don't I just stop at the gas station and get another pie? Yeah. And then bring that home. Cut that one in half, cut the homemade one in half, have half of half.
Well, what you would actually do is you'd stop off at the gas station, you'd get two pies. You'd eat one on the way home and then take the other one into the house and go, here's my pie.
And given that situation, what I would do in that very situation is say to my wife, you have most of the pie, I'll only have a small slice. And give the other part to my child so that she can be fed. Sorry, Jase, we're talking about my situation here. I don't need to. Well, I'm just telling you what I would do in your situation. But I don't have a child. But I'd say.
Hey, Jase, he doesn't have a child. Thank you, Maggie. I don't have a child.
I would say, darling, you, I would give her, and I wouldn't even discuss it. I would chop it up in such a way that she got a big portion and I just had a small slither because.
Because you're trying to lose weight because you've been a massive bastard lately, haven't you? A little bit chubby.
You don't have to agree to what he says, by the way. Pussies. But no, what I'm asking is how do I flesh out the meal? I don't want to know. Do you have vegetables in your house? Come on, man. You got salads? Yeah, we've got broccoli and stuff, and I think she's going to cook up some broccoli and stuff, but it's just that main part is not quite big enough.
Well, why don't you make some pork mince patties? Yes. Okay, so I don't have any pork mince. Oh, come on, Keezy. Don't have any pork mince on me. Guys, I'm not carrying. I swear I'm not carrying right now.
I think your idea of going to the servo and getting a sausage roll and a couple of pies and some Louisiana tenders, some of those Memphis bites, a couple of Krispy Kremes. They're just sitting in your car and scoffing them. Which is what you're going to do, let's be honest. Did I say I was going to be there?
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Chapter 7: What is the significance of the GoPro found with the crocodile?
She's been getting crook a fair amount of late. And today I got a phone call to go and pick her up from school. Sore tummy. Oh, no. A little bit weepy, a little bit cry, you know, a little bit sad, et cetera, et cetera. So I had to go all the way down there and pick her up. I haven't got a car at the moment, so I had to put her on my back, walk her home.
So you had to physically pick her up.
Physically pick her up, take her home. Headache, pukey, a little bit pukey. And, you know, it's tough for these kids, isn't it? Because she's probably had about six or seven illnesses this year. She takes after her old man, I told her today. Yes. She was filthy about that. But I don't know. What are you meant to do?
What are you meant to do with this when you've got these kids that just can't stick it out?
No. No. Well, I mean, I can relate. I was sick a lot as a child. Oh, you were never well. But that's normal.
Yeah, I mean, that was just a state of being for you. I guess with my kid, she's mostly well, and then sometimes she gets sick. But with you... You were mostly in your bubble.
Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's not similar at all. Well, that's so funny you should say that, because there must be something going around, Mogi. Yes. Because I got home last night, and my wife said, oh... Our youngest is not feeling very good. And I said, oh, God, that's no good. And she said, can you go and get her? And she'd been hanging out with a mate in Taupo. Taupo. Taupo. Taupo.
Down south a wee bit there. About the middle of a North Island. By that big lake. And... And so I had to go and pick her up. Right. Bloody six-hour journey, bloody vomiting all through the car. No, I actually had to go and get my car from the car park because they'd already parked it there. Took her home, you know, six-hour drive, vomiting everywhere. She had a fever of like 109.
Jeez, so you're measuring Fahrenheit around your place. Yeah, she was. Fevers, all sorts going on, mate. It was just a shocking state of affairs. And what was that? I don't know. It was just her illness. You didn't take her to the doctor? Oh, no. She'll come through. Just give her a bit of Gatorade, a bit of Lucas Age. She'll be sweet as.
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