A sex worker guide to threesomes
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What should beginners know before planning their first threesome?
It it can be, you know, maybe we wanna fool around, maybe we wanna have foreplay, maybe we want to explore oral, but we don't want to go all the way this time. Yeah. So there's shades of I hate using this term, but there's shades of grey, right? In in in what your threesome can be. And the important thing is to start slow and steady. Don't rush into it. There's plenty of time to explore.
The hocap Love and
Honey Eye
on Triple J.
Warning Sex and Adult Themes. Have you ever had a thraceum before? How was it? Maybe you want to, but you have no idea how to go about it. Well, on this podcast, sex worker and porn performer Lucy B joins us for a sex worker's guide to threesomes. We started by asking about Lucy's first threesome and whether it was a scary experience.
It it was totally now now I preface this by saying that some threesomes can be totally impromptu, you know? Um sometimes things just fall into place. I was younger and uh I was at a party with some friends and a and a partner at the time. and everything just kinda fell into place. I was really keen to explore more with girls and we had a very open minded friend. Um and sometimes, you know, having your first threesome or having a threesome with a friend or friends can be really good. But Generally speaking, not something I recommend because, you know, sex, it it changes things and it can change things. Sometimes if you're really sort of open minded, it can be okay. But you do have to be careful and consider how that might change the dynamic.
So what do you think the biggest mistakes people make when they decide that they want to have a threesome? I think uh one of the biggest errors of judgment I've seen and I've probably made in my life as well, um, is lack of communication. So you really wanna boil it down to specifics and leave no room for, you know, um misinterpretation and stuff like that. Um particularly if you're if you're a couple, um, and you're sort of inviting in my situation it was another girl into the scenario. Um, you wanna make sure particularly that everyone's feeling really comfortable and confident and and like you're not having a threesome because someone is lacking something in some way. Should be something that you do to have fun together um or explore together.
And it's really important that communication is at the forefront of that.
And so how can you do that? What are the sort of questions that you can be asking?
I have my little sort of top three um questions. I I jotted down some notes, but um I think one of the first things you need to ask is um what you're hoping to gain. So why are you having a threesome? And there can be a lot of reasons why someone might do that. Um I know in a lot of heterosexual couples it can be because um the woman wants to explore bisexuality a little more. And um often she'd like a partner to be a part of that or he would like to be a part like a part of that. And that can be something that, you know, a couple wanna share. Um sometimes it's just for fun, sometimes it's just to explore. There doesn't have to be a specific reason, but it's important to sort of cover why um at the time.
How can couples talk about adding a third without causing jealousy?
Um then you've got to sort of discuss who you're looking for. So who do you want to have a three? And that's not just, you know, is it a guy, is it a girl? It's things like, you know, um What are you both who are you both attracted to? You know, um, do you want it to just be about sex? Do you want to bring something like kink into play? So there's a lot of questions there. Um and also, as I said earlier, you need to consider the consequences of jealousy and and stuff like that. So you have to put keep in mind who you're bringing into your bedroom, so to speak.
There's a lot of uh a lot of pre-maintenance.
Yeah, and I think the third Most important thing is boundaries. So you've got to look at a threesome doesn't necessarily have to be just, you know, um P and V, heterosexual sex, straight up, right? Oh, which everyone knows is the best kind. Yeah, or the only kind, apparently. Um so it it can be, you know, maybe we want to fool around, maybe we wanna have foreplay, maybe we want to explore oral, but we don't want to go all the way this time.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What should beginners know before planning their first threesome?
0:02–3:23
2
How can couples talk about adding a third without causing jealousy?
3:23–6:58
3
What are the most common mistakes couples make when organizing a threesome?
6:58–9:57
4
How do you decide who should be the third participant and what qualities to look for?
9:57–13:03
5
What practical steps help set boundaries and negotiate expectations before the night?
13:03–16:54
6
Which sexual positions and choreography work best for different threesome configurations?
16:54–19:26