Falling in love with your best friend
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How can I tell if I’m falling in love with my best friend?
I do think that at some point you gotta take that leap. So how much lead up you give to it is really up to you. I guess the one thing I will say is give them an out. If you're really worried about being rejected, then make sure that they know it. It doesn't matter how you feel, our friendship's valuable to me.
Warning adult content. The hookup. Love and on Triple J. If you wanna be my friend, then stop trying to be my lover. Or maybe don't. Falling in love with your bestie. It's terrifying, right? How do you cross the line over from friends to more than friends? I mean it's pretty much the definition of awkward, but you know what they say. Big risk, big reward. I'm Nat Tencich, and soon you'll be joined by psychologist Gemma Cribb with some advice for those going through a bit of a friend-love dilemma. First up, I spoke to two sets of besties who jumped over that line and became lovers. It's not an easy thing to do, but here's how it worked for them.
My name is Lisa and I'm talking to the hookup because I fell in love with my best friend.
My name's Simon. I'm talking to the hookup because I also fell in love with my best friend.
I met Simon at work. We were friends for a really long time.
A very long time. We kept working together in the bookshop for I don't know a couple of years. All
up it was about five years.
Yeah. We also lived together. And we were housemates.
And it was like very much that was the relationship. There was no ambiguity I didn't feel in those earlier years.
Yeah, definitely.
My name is Kayla and I'm on the hookup tonight to talk about why I fell in love with Meg, my best friend. My name is Meg and I'm on the hookup
because I'm also talking about why I fell in love with my best friend.
I was pretty shy back then. I didn't have many friends. I just moved to the school. And Meg was one of those cool girls at school that everyone wanted to be. And my first interaction with Meg was actually when we were lining up for one of our classes and she just stopped me all of a sudden and looked at me and said, You have really beautiful eyes. And then she said, Come and sit with me and I was like, Oh, okay, Meg wants to sit with me. And she didn't.
She didn't sit with me. No,
I didn't sit.
with her because I'm too shy. Meg started hanging out with me and my friends at school.
What did Lisa and Simon’s story teach about moving from friendship to romance?
Like I'd had best friends in the past but when I started hanging out with Kayla it just felt so like safe and comfortable and secure that I was like, oh this is what like really openly trusting somebody and having like a really nice friendship with someone is like. I like you way more than I like my other friends. And we were best friends for about a year before we never kind of thought of of anything different or anything else.
Our friends started to notice that we were a bit more close than everybody else in the group, that we kinda always hung out alone quite a lot and people started to question like of course being girls as well. Are they? Are they not like a
lot of discussion at school? Yeah, I should mention that we were not out at this point. We had never really explored same sex attraction before, even thought of it as a possibility. I think like working out our feelings for each other also came with a degree of shame and trying to just work out who you are and falling in love with someone I guess or having a crush on someone even when nobody around you was kind of dealing with that in our community at least. Then we went on a trip to my brother's house in Queensland just to have a little getaway and it just came out of nowhere. We were just kind of falling asleep and then we just kissed. But then we were driving home from Queensland the next day and we didn't talk about it.
We didn't say anything about it and we didn't talk about it For like two days after. And then we just kissed again and we were like, Yeah. Like this is this is what's happening. Yeah, that went on for three months. Like Kissing, oh I really like that. No, we can't do that. Yeah. No more of that. We tried a lot to be like, No we shouldn't, like, now I'm straight.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How can I tell if I’m falling in love with my best friend?
0:01–2:17
2
What did Lisa and Simon’s story teach about moving from friendship to romance?
2:17–5:48
3
How did Kayla and Meg navigate their same‑sex crush and first kiss?
5:48–8:46
4
What practical steps does psychologist Gemma suggest for starting the conversation?
8:46–12:44
5
How can I gauge whether my friend will handle a confession positively?
12:44–17:39
6
What should I do if my friend rejects me and the friendship feels broken?
17:39–20:57
7
How do real‑life listener stories illustrate the risks and rewards of a best‑friend romance?
20:57–25:27
8
What final advice does Gemma give for taking the leap and keeping the friendship healthy?
25:27–29:16