Making the wrong distance alright
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What challenges does Nat face in his long‑distance relationship with Emily?
When you've got a huge distance between you and your new love, you have to kind of find creative ways to kind of continue the development of your relationship. I was in London and my love interest was in Sydney and we had to send letters, you know, and you'd wait seven or ten days for them to write back and it was just absolutely, you know, so painful. But now with technology it is so much easier to stay in touch.
If you've had to be away from your significant other for any amount of time, you know that it's pretty hard. But what do you do when you're at a long distance for the long haul? Well, I can tell you firsthand, it totally sucks. I'm Nat Tenchich, and in a bit you'll hear from a relationship counsellor on how to make the wrong distance a bit less shitty. Well, I can say it's shitty because I'm doing it right now. My partner Emily has been teaching English in Japan since August, and honestly, it's been one of the roughest times in our six-year-plus relationship. it's put us through some stuff. I mean, we've been managing okay, but it gets so frustrating not being able to hold the person you love or turn around in the middle of the night and tell them something or just go to a movie together.
You know, it's really, really tricky. And I went to see her over the break. And actually, despite some of the fears that I had, it felt like we'd never parted at all. It got me thinking about how wild it is that you can love somebody and still this lack of touch or physical presence can throw your relationship and the love that you've built into hard mode. It's nearly over. Em's coming back in April. I'm very excited. But with the end in sight, I actually thought I'd catch up with her and see how we'd done and what we could have done better. Give it like 10 out of 10. I mean, yes, I would also give our relationship 10 out of 10.
It feels like it's been longer than six months, firstly. But, yeah, it's kind of okay.
I feel like I could have been a lot better at calling you. I think there were a few weeks that went by where I only called you like once a week and they were a bit tough. What's been the hardest part for you?
The hardest part is not being able to, like, cuddle you I guess like not being able to like yeah I mean like so I think that's the hardest part is like when you have a really bad day over here or wherever you are like you kind of all you want to do is go to your significant other and just hang out and it's kind of like it makes you feel extra lonely when something really bad happens and you're feeling crap and then you can't talk to your partner because they're busy or you get like maybe a short chat with them and That's the worst part, not being able to see you.
How was it when I came to visit you over summer?
Yeah, it was nice. I think both of us were really nervous because we were like unsure what it was going to be like, I guess. Would it feel weird not having seen each other for months? But it felt really good. I feel like we just, it's like riding a bike, right? Like the moment you stepped off the bus, we were both like crying a lot. And
then
it was, yeah, it was pretty great. And then we kind of just stepped back into the swing of things very quickly. And yeah, it was like, we were never apart.
I felt like I was getting really stressed out by not being in the swing of things for quite a few months and the distance was really like mounting on me. I got pretty upset. I wasn't sure where I stood with things, but then seeing you in person like made everything feel right again, which is probably speaks to just how truly shitty long distance relationships really are and how much effort it really takes mentally and emotionally to keep them together. It's
really difficult because if you're stressing about things, I can't like drive to your house and talk it out with you. Like if you don't want to talk to me, we can just go like, or if I don't want to talk to you, we can just go like days without talking to each other and there's nothing the other person can do about it.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What challenges does Nat face in his long‑distance relationship with Emily?
0:00–5:31
2
How does the lack of physical touch affect Nat and Emily’s daily life?
5:31–9:48
3
What are the biggest mistakes couples make when they go long‑distance?
9:48–14:01
4
How can callers like Dan plan a move to close the distance?
14:01–18:14
5
What communication rituals help keep international couples connected?
18:14–23:06
6
How should couples make the most of in‑person visits?
23:06–27:46
7
Why is long‑term future planning crucial for long‑distance love?
27:46–31:19
8
What final advice does Clinton give to listeners about surviving long distance?
31:19–35:32