Shaking up your masturbation routine
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Why should I consider shaking up my usual masturbation routine?
Have a nice warm shower or bath. Lay back on the bed. Maybe put some porn on. Lay in front of a mirror. Watch what your body does. Let your hands explore. If you're a right-hander, turn to the left-hand. Play with your nipples. Play with your testicles. Play with your perineum. Play around your anus. Actually, just enjoy and pay attention to what's going on to your
body. Masturbation month is in full swing here on The Hookup, and on this episode, we're looking at how to shake it up when you're shaking one out. Now, it can be pretty easy and comfortable to do the same thing every time you masturbate. I mean, if it's working, why change it, right? Well, getting stuck in a rut can actually make it harder to orgasm during partnered sex. It can be really important and super fun to change it up every once in a while. I'm Nat Tanchich and to tell us more about how to do that, I'm joined by sex therapist Tanya Coons and sex therapist Dr. Chris Fox. How you doing guys? Hi Nat, I'm good. Hi Tan,
how
are you? Hey, Chris. Nice to hear your voice. Very good to have you both here to talk about changing it up. Now, you might kind of wonder, like, what is the point of changing it up? Like, if I'm doing this thing and it works for me, then that's good, right? Well, Chris, what are some good reasons to maybe make a bit of a change?
I think there's lots of reasons for making a bit of a change. I mean, I often talk to people about, you know, let's look at how our bodies have changed over time. So I'm often sitting with, you know, 40-year-old men and women. And, you know, we're talking about masturbation and it's like, well, how's your body changed? your body's changed since you were 20 has your masturbation style changed since you're 20 and they look at me with this blank look across their face um and it's like well our bodies have got bigger our bodies have got fatter our bodies have got thinner they've got mustier they've got hairier you know if our bodies have changed our genitals have also changed and therefore we don't do the gym at 30 or 40 or 50 or 60 in the same way that we did when we were 20 why are we trying to masturbate in the same ways we did when we were 20. so what happens for us i think we often get into a habit of
of masturbation and that's where it stops. And then of course we talk about issues around not being able to orgasm during intercourse, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation, all of those other things that happen. But I think changing it up is important.
Well, if you've been like, I mean, if you're sort of like in your early 20s, you know, as we talk to the people we talk to on Triple J, it's like if you've been like doing it the same way since you were in your teens maybe and you got like your particular thing that you like and you know your thing that works really quickly and maybe speed has been of the essence in your life up to this point. What are some more issues that can kind of arise from getting stuck in a rut like that?
Look, I'm working with young people. It's often things like wanting to be able to ejaculate with their partner in particular ways. People become habituated, used to their style of masturbation. It doesn't change. And then somebody else comes along and they want to masturbate their partner and bring their partner to orgasm ejaculation. They can't do it. So, you know, it's about just relaxing and enjoying the moment rather than that rush. I've got to get it off.
How can a stagnant solo routine affect orgasm during partnered sex?
I've got to knock one out. I've got to get, you know, why rush? Lay back. Let your hands do some exploring. Enjoy it.
I guess if you're new, like if you're less experienced, though, maybe that can be a scary prospect or maybe you don't know so much and you think, okay, well, this is what works for me. So I'm just going to keep doing that.
And I think that's what a lot of people do with masturbation with sex. This is what works. This is the way it's going to be. And I think the really interesting thing is that nobody teaches us to masturbate. I used to talk at one of the local high schools here in Melbourne at an extracurricular sex ed session.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why should I consider shaking up my usual masturbation routine?
0:02–3:16
2
How can a stagnant solo routine affect orgasm during partnered sex?
3:16–6:38
3
What body‑awareness techniques (like mirror work or perineum play) can break the rut?
6:38–10:41
4
How does orgasmic yoga and breath work improve solo pleasure and partner play?
10:41–14:16
5
Can using porn mindfully enhance the masturbatory experience?
14:16–17:30
6
What are safe ways to explore anal and perineum stimulation during masturbation?
17:30–20:06
7
Do lubricants and toys make a difference, and how should I choose them?
20:06–23:39
8
What listener questions address common concerns about technique, anxiety, and equipment?
23:39–27:19