To block, or not to block...
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What is the personal story behind Rowan’s experience of being blocked?
So it was uh a very good friend uh of mine. I liked her. I thought she liked me too. So I asked her out. She said no, let's stay friends. So a week later, uh we uh she messaged me to say yes, let's uh remain friends. So that was all right. But a month later I was blocked, it was confusing and um no doubt there's like there's this issue. But when you're blocked, um how do you resolve this issue? How do you yeah, just what do you do?
Warning adult content. The hookup. Love and on Triple J. Being blocked on social media can really hurt, especially when you're not given the chance to work your issues out. But it's our right to shut someone out of our feeds, isn't it? Soon a cycle begins to help you deal with being blocked and whether you can just block anyone. But first, we heard from Rowan in Canberra, who emailed the hookup with a conundrum. He was blocked by a mate with very little warning, and he wanted to know what he could do about it. Pode up with Rowan to get the story.
So it was uh a very good friend uh mine. Um yeah, great friends did great things. Um I liked her and I thought she liked me too. So I asked her out. She said, No, let's stay friends. So a week later, uh we uh she messaged me to say yes, let's uh remain friends. So that was all right. But a month later I received a message from her that basically said, Rowan, uh please stop spreading rumours about me. I think it's best that you limit your contact with me. And um I was blocked and uh initially I panicked. I didn't know what to do, so tried to respond just to see uh what what rumours were they? Um couldn't respond because I was blocked. I was uh confused initially because I didn't know what was going on. Maybe there was a a misunderstanding.
So I went to uh a mutual friend to clear well, find out what was happening. And um the mutual friend just said, Rowan, I think it's best that you just walk away. I think no one will will think that you've spread these rumours. I think it's best that you just walk away. It was confusing. And um no doubt there's like there's this issue. But when you're blocked, um, how do you resolve this issue? How do you yeah, just what do you do?
Yeah, I mean, we've we've sort of been gently putting the question out there over the week and a lot of people, you know, have come back and said, Well, of course like you're well within your rights to block anyone that you don't want to see in your feed and you you're more than welcome to curate your own feed, but Does it f sort of leave conflict unresolved? Can it leave you without closure?
I think so. I had questions uh myself that uh still don't a have answers to, like uh what actually did happen? What did she hear?
Why does being blocked feel like an unresolved conflict and how can you find closure?
Who from? Yeah, I still don't have answers for that. So yeah, I think it does leave it unresolved. But I think from from her end it's like resolved, it's it's definitely over. F but from my end. I think I will wonder, I mean, what what did happen basically.
Yeah. And did that cause you a lot of stress, wondering what you'd done wrong and not finding out what her thinking was?
Oh, absolutely. I mean no one likes to be uh accused for for something, but um it caused me stress because just the um uncertainty of it all. I think it was a shocking way to to end uh our friendship, you know. And I was like, um I I just wanted to make sure this wouldn't happen again, but of course I didn't know what actually happened. It's also hard to know what to avoid or what to do in the future so that this situation would not happen again.
Wha what would you like blocking and and muting and social media etiquette to look like having gone through what you've been through?
There there definitely needs to be a a warning. For me it was completely out of the blue. Stop spraying the rumours, don't talk to me, you're blocked. But there definitely needs to be a warning. If you continue doing this, then I will block And then there needs to okay, there needs to be a behavior and then you're blocked. So there needs to be a clear if you do this action, then I will block you. Then I think that would be a fairer way to to block someone.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the personal story behind Rowan’s experience of being blocked?
0:00–2:46
2
Why does being blocked feel like an unresolved conflict and how can you find closure?
2:46–6:00
3
Is it reasonable to cut all communication with someone on social media?
6:00–8:27
4
When is it better to hide or mute someone instead of blocking them?
8:27–12:34
5
How can you approach a blocked friend respectfully and possibly reconnect?
12:34–15:44
6
What are the reasons people block on dating apps and is it appropriate?
15:44–18:41
7
Why should emotional communication be taught in schools to prevent social media conflicts?
18:41–22:31
8
What final advice does psychologist Gemma Cribb give about blocking and mental wellbeing?
22:31–26:55