When's the right time to transition?
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What personal experiences does Charlie share about questioning their gender identity?
When I do see trans men or non-binary people who have gone through some sort of transition, I absolutely respect them and I love it. And it's so beautiful seeing these people so comfortable within themselves. But for me, it's the opposite. So I'm not sure if I'm blocking it or if I'm in some sort of
denial. Transitioning your gender is not a decision one takes lightly. But when you're experiencing gender dysphoria, how do you know when the right time to transition is? Or if you should at all? Nat Tengich here. And soon you'll hear from a counsellor who specialises in trans and gender diverse health on how you could go about transitioning and whether it's right for you. But first, here's Charlie, who wrote in to us wondering about this very thing.
Hi my name is Charlie and I'm from Melbourne, Victoria. I identify myself as non-binary. It's been a bit of a journey from thinking that I was cis to my sexual orientation and then I guess now I identify myself as a pansexual non-binary person and I'm still trying to navigate my gender and the way I identify myself as in I'm not sure if I am actually trans or if I want to transition to be identified as male or transition to look quite masculine with a beard and a masculine physique but also remain non-binary. I feel like the starting point was when I was six years old and I said to my mother I want to be a boy. And I feel like that kind of stuff is not talked about, especially in a... I grew up in an Italian.
Parents are Italian, a bit conservative. My nonna is a Jehovah's Witness, so none of that was talked about. Sexual orientation other than heterosexual relationships wasn't talked about, so... It wasn't until I was I think 19 that I started questioning and backtracking to points in my life where I thought that I could be something else other than I'm female and wearing feminine clothes and all the stuff that goes with that. And so I think it was my first relationship with a female that throughout the relationship I started thinking that, I don't know, there was something missing. and I didn't know what it was and I don't know how it came across but I did say at one point that I would want to transition or I want to be a man and that was all that was said and nothing went further.
And then my next relationship with another female I did bring up that I did say I want to transition and the next day well she was supportive but the next day she said that she can only be my friend. So, I didn't want, I obviously wanted the relationship not to be rejected by her. So, I just, I guess, pushed that back in the closet and those thoughts and blocked it out until I guess I was about 23. And I started wearing more masculine clothes. I started looking up websites and I guess it kind of clicked that I didn't want to be female. I wanted to be possibly male. And I don't know, I just didn't feel comfortable with transitioning completely to male. I think at this point in my life, I think I would like to be non-binary, but I don't know if that's because I'm blocking it out or I'm in denial.
Because there's so many things, like it makes me feel uncomfortable that it could affect my family.
How does the episode define the first practical steps for someone considering transition?
Or I don't want to be rejected by potential partners because I'm trans and I have that sort of body. I don't have a cis body. I believe non-binary is, I believe that gender is a social construct. Humans have made this whole ideal that there is female and male and there's nothing in between. I think at this point, like 2018, we've really broken down those barriers and there's all this in-betweenness that I feel like is non-binary and is becoming more accepted. and it's beautiful but I consider myself like 70% male and like 30% female and it makes me feel really comfortable and knowing that I can be to be fluid like that so I guess it's just being comfortable in yourself and being fluid and not having that sort of label on yourself that you have to be placed in a box as in female or male.
Yeah, what else worries you and what else kind of holds you back when it comes to thinking about transitioning?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What personal experiences does Charlie share about questioning their gender identity?
0:00–3:47
2
How does the episode define the first practical steps for someone considering transition?
3:47–7:33
3
What are the differences between social transition and medical transition in Australia?
7:33–12:05
4
How can non‑binary people access partial medical options like hormones or top surgery?
12:05–15:07
5
What costs and funding options should people expect when transitioning?
15:07–18:39
6
What legal changes (name, gender marker, birth certificate) are involved in transition and how do they vary by state?
18:39–21:35
7
How can families and parents be supported to understand and accept a trans or gender‑diverse child?
21:35–24:32
8
Is transitioning the only way to relieve gender dysphoria and what alternatives exist?
24:32–28:08