Why some young people see sex workers
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What prompted the episode’s focus on young people seeing sex workers?
I don't think that someone that's paid for prostitutes is someone that I would necessarily want to be with. I understand when you know like if it's a boys' troop when you're going to Amsterdam and you use like a hooker over there or if you're in Thailand or y if you've done it once. But I just could not understand why a twenty-four year old good looking male would visit a brothel frequently and he would do it on his own.
Warning adult content. The hookup. Love and
on Triple J Who would you picture as your typical sex worker client? Someone who can't pick up? Maybe it's someone who wants to cheat on their partner? James Finlay here filling in Fnat Tancic. Now despite sex work not being decriminalized in Australia and different laws allowing different things in different states, sex work still happens. And as you'll hear, it's not just people who can't pick up who are seeing sex workers. We recently got an email from a listener who was shocked and concerned that her boyfriend had seen sex workers. And it got me thinking: just how many people have this as their deal breaker? Soon, sex worker and activist Lucy B and sex therapist and clinical psychologist Gemma Cripp will be in to talk about who sees sex workers and why.
But first, I got the listener Jade to come into the studio during the week and have a chat. To begin, I asked her to read out the email she sent us.
I had been dating this guy for eleven months. Um, when we first started dating, I asked him if he had ever used prostitutes. I was cheated on with a prostitute in a previous relationship and for me this was a deal breaker. He of course lied to me. I found out a week ago he had slept with hookers, so many in fact that you couldn't remember the number. When I was told that I had to seriously reevaluate my feelings for him, the fact that he could exploit desperate women in that way made me cringe. I wasn't even to able to look at him the same. Even though it was before we met, I just couldn't get past how a twenty four year old good looking male that doesn't need to resort to paying for it. was frequently visiting these establishments.
I didn't know if it was a normal thing or if I was overreacting. I sort of like was going on Google and I was trying to find out answers to see if anyone else had experienced anything similar. I found nothing so ended up writing into Triple J.
So how long did you know the guy when you decided to ask him about seeing sex workers?
Um, so I think it had been a couple of months um into us dating when I had asked him the question. And he blatantly just lied about it.
What made you ask the question in the first place?
Um because I feel like it's a deal breaker for me. I don't Think That's someone that paid for prostitutes is someone that I would necessarily want to be with. I understand when, you know, like if it's a boys' trip and you're going to Amsterdam and you use Like a hooker over there or if you're in Thailand or y if you've done it once. But I just could not understand why a twenty four year old good looking male Would visit a brothel frequently and he would do it on his own.
Hm.
How did the listener’s email reveal deal‑breaker attitudes toward sex‑worker clients?
You'd experienced people in the past, like people that you dated in the past seeing sex workers as well, hadn't you?
Yes, while we were together I was cheated on with a Thailand prostitute.
How did you find out about that?
He actually told me that
And how did you feel about it when he told you?
I was just through all. I got on the next plane home. I cried the entire flight home.
You were on holiday at the time?
Yeah, so he went over for a boys' trip. Um, I went over to meet him a couple of days later. Um he kept it a secret for a couple of days and then ended up telling me when he was drunk. Um and then yeah, I got on the next plane home. And then Yeah, it was it was horrible. that he had chosen to sleep with a Thailand prostitute over Like being with me, I it made me feel just awful about myself. I felt like I was inadequate, like there was something that I wasn't providing that He had to seek out somewhere like somewhere else and
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What prompted the episode’s focus on young people seeing sex workers?
0:00–3:29
2
How did the listener’s email reveal deal‑breaker attitudes toward sex‑worker clients?
3:29–5:31
3
What insights do Lucy B and Gemma Cribb share about why young people seek sex workers?
5:31–9:17
4
Why do many men view paying for sex as a quick, stigma‑free solution?
9:17–15:41
5
What reasons do clients give for visiting brothels beyond just sex?
15:41–23:55
6
How does stigma affect people who have used sex workers, and what can therapists suggest?
23:55–30:25
7
Why is touch such a fundamental human need in the context of sex work?
30:25–32:29