Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Kyle, Jackie O. Kyle and Jackie O. The Kyle and Jackie O Show.
Morning. Hello, Jackie. What happened to Kyle? I've only just walked in like 10 minutes ago.
Oh, it's been like stress and chaos. Everyone's running around. Something's happened to Kyle, right?
Like, he's had a fall.
Yeah. Like an old man.
Yeah, he's at that age where you don't say they've fallen over. They've had a fall. He's had a fall and he's off the show.
Is that right? We don't... OK, it's really hard to say at this point because normally if Kyle's sick, we'll get a, I'm not coming on air today, but this morning it's a, I might still be on air, but he's just trying to recover because you're right, he did have a fall and I got a very lengthy and detailed text saying, that I'm happy to read.
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Chapter 2: What happened to Kyle that caused him to miss the show?
I don't know if I'll get in trouble, but I'm happy to read it.
I want to hear it.
Yeah. All right, we can break this down because it's quite long, as I mentioned. So, hey, I've just fallen over quite bad naked, running from the shower to get a towel from the linen closet. Don't lie.
Why? Why? Carl, we could be out like literally around the corner and we're on air. We're missing the break on air. But he doesn't run. Five seconds, five seconds, and everyone runs and Carl doesn't run. Why is he running from the shower? What was he running towards?
The linen closet to get a towel.
As if he's running.
The story continues. It is dark in the foyer and I tripped over some open suitcases and Otto's toys fell. Oh, sorry.
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Chapter 3: How did Kyle's fall impact the show's dynamics?
Otto's toys fell bad, effed my ribs and back and neck and hit my head quite hard on the back of my skull. I'm now hobbling back to bed. Headache is instant and I feel embarrassed and in some pain. I don't know if I'll feel any better in an hour or so. I'm spewing because I was looking forward to the show today with Pauline and Anthony Mundine.
If I come good, I'll get up and do the show from home. But right now I feel like I've been in a car accident. Why so much detail? I was going to say, I've never.
Does he normally write?
His sick messages are never like this. It's, hey, babe, no show today for me. Speak soon.
He's fully concussed.
I don't know. Peter, do you want to go around?
I'm going to go over if that's okay. I don't think he might be delusional.
Peter, I don't know that you need to go over, to be honest.
To be honest, in these situations, I know sometimes he's a bit testy with me. I feel like this is a morning he probably needs me.
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Chapter 4: What details did Kyle share about his incident?
Oh, that's good though, right?
We don't even have anyone.
So I could be the new Cooper, like the fill-in.
You know what, Peter? Yes, come on in. Oh, come in. Thank you.
Oh, Peter, the day has finally arrived.
Peter, the day's arrived. Now, you're Stephen Bradbury-ed it because there's nobody around. That's why you're here. Oh, okay. But in saying that, I mean, you've spent years wanting this moment. That's right, yeah. Have you ever thought of things to bring to the table should you get the moment?
I panicked right now, but just give me a second. Let's just keep shooting the hoo-ha and whatever else, which is good.
Where's Cooper? Like, can we get him or not?
We can't call him three days after he quits.
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Chapter 5: What are the reactions of the hosts regarding Kyle's condition?
You shouldn't sleep when you have a head injury, should you?
No, I don't think you should, actually. No.
You're supposed to wait six hours.
Oh, you would know, Cooper, with your football, you know. Six hours.
Yeah. Maybe you should send Pete over there. Keep him up.
Yeah, but then what am I going to do?
Send someone else there. Yeah, come on. We've got 900 staff here.
Who wants to go to Carl's?
I'm happy to go, and I can play the preggers card of, like, let me in. I can chat to Tegan, you know.
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Chapter 6: What precautions should be taken after a head injury?
Yes, you can do the crime.
But in saying that, paedophile sort of department here speaking for a moment, if you go back to the original one, you can check the data on your car when you pulled up and turned it off. Obviously, you'd have to go to a mechanic to get that information. I know that's a bit much.
Oh, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to.
And the time that he gave you the ticket as well, and you can prove, hey, there was like 30 seconds, a minute, or whatever it was in between those two times.
Wow, that actually, we record data on our cars for that stuff.
If we do, that will work perfectly, yeah, for sure.
So, Cooper, how much is your car going to cost now? to fix?
Oh, God, I can't even. Who would know? I just said, just send me the bill when it's fixed. It's probably going to take them two weeks or something.
Hey, Cooper, sorry to interrupt. It's Hulk here, bro. Look, I do feel some sort of potential responsibility here around this car, because it is the same car Kyle lent me when I was up in the Daintree last year, and I flogged that thing through the bush there, eh? To the point where the wheel blew off the axle.
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Chapter 7: How did the hosts plan to handle the show without Kyle?
Thanks for fessing up, Hulk.
Bruzzy, we were smashing, me and my missus were smashing that thing around the bush like we were in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Like it was, there was dust everywhere. Like the cassowaries were legging it. Like it was, you know, we put it through its paces.
The cassowaries were legging it. Can I ask a question for the room, for everyone, to be honest? Yes. Where has the nerve come from all the stuff that just take Kyle's cars, borrow them, all that sort of stuff?
I know.
Is this a new thing? Like, honestly, I would never have the nerve to ask to drive one of his cars.
Pete, did you get flown premium economy to France? Oh, yeah, no.
I've had other perks of the show.
Hey, Pete, haven't you had two sets of fake teeth before?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Peter, how do those fake teeth go?
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of Kyle's absence on the show's future?
Oh, the prince that he slept with. Well, we can't work out... The prince? You slept with the prince?
Prince of where? I don't know. This is the thing.
There's a diamond of those in other countries. They're like, you know, you can get the certificate.
Okay, so weird scenario. New Year's Eve, after your New Year's Eve celebrations, Brooklyn, at your house, I went home. I had a grinder hookup. This is where it gets weird. This was very late. I would say I had quite a lot to drink. And the date was about to come in and he said, oh, just one second. Security will come in first. Oh, no way. Is this real? Yes way.
Yeah.
Two security guards. We're talking diplomat style security guards. Badgers. Not badgers, but like little pins. Yeah. This is later than I'll be honest with you. It was hazy. Very hazy. Mm hmm. They've walked in, gone through my entire house, just had a quick look, had a check of everything, checked under the bed.
Walk out, by the way.
Then he comes in, he falls on the bed. And I was like, who are they? He goes, they're my security. Don't ask any more questions. What a baller move, though. Imagine faking that.
Yeah.
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