How to Get What You Want Every Time: 3 Steps to Negotiate Anything With Anyone
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What makes difficult conversations so important?
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Hey, it's your buddy Mel. I am so excited that you chose to hit play on this episode and that you're here today with me because this is one of those conversations that has a before and an after. After you learn what our expert has to say today, you're going to go about your life differently. See, right now, there's something that you want and there's something that you need from other people, but you're not asking for it. Maybe you need help at home from your roommate or your spouse, or you wish your siblings would step up and do their part helping out taking care of your aging parents. See, life is full of frustrating situations, but oftentimes you think it's just easier to say nothing. Maybe you have adult kids and you don't mind supporting them by helping them out with rent, but every time you see them, they're in a new outfit. Or you feel overlooked at work, but you don't know how to successfully negotiate a raise. Or there's a conversation you want to have with your partner.
Maybe you want them to get a better job or it's time to get married or just show more initiative in the relationship. Staying silent isn't working, but how do you bring it up? Well, our expert today, the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, Kwame Christian, he is here today in our Boston studios to teach you three simple steps to setting up any difficult conversation you need to have. Now, these three simple steps are going to help you speak up, ask for what you need, diffuse any emotional reactions, and get what you want. Kwame says the best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations because it's more important to be respected than liked. Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited that you're here. It is always such an honor to spend time with you and to be together.
And if you're a new listener, I just want to personally take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I am so happy that you're here. And because you made the time to listen to this particular episode, here's what I know about you. You're the kind of person who values your time and you invest it in things that can help you improve your life. And you also know that you deserve more respect in your life and you're here to learn how to get it. And if you're listening to this because someone shared this with you, well, here's what I want to tell you. I think that's really cool because it means that you have someone in your life that loves you enough to remind you that you deserve to be respected.
And they wanted you to have this expert advice so that you can start to speak up and ask for what you need and negotiate the things that you want in life. And that's exactly what today's episode is all about. Learning how to have hard conversations. Because according to our expert today, The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations. And you may have good reasons for avoiding conversations that feel like a confrontation. But here's what you're going to learn. Yes, yes, yes, you may want everyone to like you. But in life, it is so much more important to be respected. And that respect begins with you. See, right now, I just want you to stop and think. There's a situation that's bothering you.
There's a conversation that you know you need to have. but you're avoiding it. And you probably have a really good reason for avoiding it. You hate confrontation. You just don't want to deal with the drama. You're frustrated and you're annoyed. And maybe you're worried that the conversation, it's not only not going to work, it might just make things worse. Or maybe you're just the kind of person that cares a lot about what other people think. Well, here's what I'm going to tell you. It is time for you to learn a simple three-step approach to having these kinds of conversations because it is true. It's way more important that you learn how to be respected in life and you stop focusing on making sure everybody likes you and that everybody's happy with you. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to invite you to think about an area of your life where you're tolerating disrespect and
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What makes difficult conversations so important?
0:00–4:56
2
How can I ask for what I need without conflict?
4:56–5:59
3
What is the 'Compassionate Curiosity' framework?
5:59–12:19
4
How can I manage my emotions during tough talks?
12:19–18:04
5
What are common examples of conversations we avoid?
18:04–21:41
6
How can I respect myself while negotiating?
21:41–31:19
7
What are the steps to apply 'Compassionate Curiosity' effectively?
31:19–37:24
8
Why is it essential to engage in internal negotiations?
37:24–1:23:58
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from The Mel Robbins Podcast
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