Ep. 18: How to Teach Self-Regulation in a Healthy Way ft. SLP Danielle Kent
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What is co‑regulation and how does it differ from self‑regulation?
What's up, everyone, and welcome to Making the Shift.
We're an SLP couple from California with three boys and a passion for finding better ways to support autistic kids.
I'm Chris Winger, better known as Speech Dude, and I'm a neurodivergent high school SLP and the creator of the DASL, the Dynamic Assessment of Social Emotional Learning.
And I'm Jesse Ginsburg, a sensory integration trained SLP, owner of a top-rated speech therapy clinic in Los Angeles, and the creator of the Inside Out sensory programs for parents and therapists. Join us weekly to learn neurodiversity-affirming ways to support social-emotional development and regulation in autistic kids.
Are you ready to make the shift?
Hello, everyone. Welcome to Making the Shift. We are so excited today because we're getting together with my friend Danielle Kent, who is also an SLP. And I was trying to remember how we met. I don't even know. So I
had a like burst of a thought bubble. I had connected with you somehow on Instagram and on your page, you mentioned co-regulation and you were the first person that had ever seen say anything about co-regulation. So I sent you, I think two copies of my book, Max Learns to Pause, because I was like, this is amazing. She's talking about this that nobody else is talking about. I love co-regulation. And I think it just kind of, Oh
my God, I forgot about that book. I read that with the boys, with my boys. And you sent me two copies, which was so sweet. One for Connor and one for Tucker. I
have two kids. I know like just being able to each have access in their own hands. Very important.
oh my gosh, I forgot you wrote a book. I can't believe I forgot that. And then we just started like becoming online best friends, talking and DMing, sliding into each other's DMs. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think I love to look back on it.
Why are common ‘calm‑down corner’ strategies often ineffective for autistic children?
I always love to look back and think about the start and the evolution of friendships and relationships. Cause it's a reminder that sometimes things take steam that you don't, you have no idea that they will, which is really cool.
Yeah. And we've talked about working together and we've definitely got stuff coming in the future. I know it. And yeah, I asked Danielle to come on today because she is really the person I think about when we talk about the topic of co-regulation and self-regulation. And that's what we wanted to talk all about today is what is co-regulation and self-regulation, but really get into more of the why we really need to focus on co-regulation, even though people like to focus on self-regulation. But maybe you can tell everyone a little bit about yourself.
Yeah. So like you said, I'm a speech language pathologist. I'm also a mom of two, I guess four, including my two fur babies. But my journey towards understanding co-regulation really started at home.
I was
noticing self-regulation differences in a lot of the kids that I work with, a lot of the kids who were autistic or at ADHD. But my own son had a much different time regulating than my daughter did. And, you know, still at that point, when I talked to his pediatrician, the approaches were very behavioral based. It was, oh, ignore, oh, withhold, oh, punish. And intuitively, I just thought those don't feel right. Just like at school, they never felt like the right approaches to support kids who were having a hard time. And so I read The Whole Brain Child, and I never look back. I never look back from the reading of that book. And I think you and I have talked about that book before. And I just started diving extensively into this world of co-regulation and really that ability to support the child in front of you to develop self-regulation skills.
And my son benefited tremendously. And I thought, hey, wait a minute, why aren't we taking the same information that we're really talking about to parents actively now and bring it over to the schools? Because the same principles apply to kids in schools. They need the same level of responsiveness and attunement to develop their self-regulation skills. And that developed my love of talking about co-regulation to whoever will listen about it.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is co‑regulation and how does it differ from self‑regulation?
0:08–2:18
2
Why are common ‘calm‑down corner’ strategies often ineffective for autistic children?
2:18–6:23
3
When is the right time to start teaching self‑regulation skills to preschool‑aged kids?
6:23–10:54
4
What are the three pillars of effective co‑regulation (relationship, environment, modeling)?
10:54–15:35
5
How can parents model self‑regulation when they’re feeling dysregulated themselves?
15:35–19:44
6
What’s the ‘upstairs‑downstairs brain’ analogy and how does it guide regulation support?
19:44–24:35
7
What practical steps can therapists take when a child is already dysregulated?
24:35–25:12
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The NeuroAffirm Podcast
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Ep. 124 Building Rapport Isn’t Enough...How Therapists Become Part of the Intervention
Ep. 123 Not Seeing Progress in Speech Therapy? Start Here.
Ep. 122 Screen Time Considerations for Autistic Kids
Ep. 121 The Biggest Sensory Mistakes SLPs Make
Ep. 120 Why Anxiety is So Common in Autism (And What Actually Helps)