He Practiced On His EX?! Abbey and Peter React to Outrageous Engagement Secrets!
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What’s the opening banter about chin filler vs. a heart‑shaped head?
Uh why did she swamber?
Because it's getting a bit loose there now.
Well I chew, I but very rarely chew for longer than a few seconds.
I'll be like a little granny in the corner getting wheeled out. Hello.
You be a girl floating, but
I'm trying to get a jiggy to backbone. You ain't got no. You could be a crowd shit. Hello and welcome to the Therapy Crouch Ask Me Anything with me, Abby Clancy.
As me, Peter Crouch.
We're back in the barn.
Yeah, we got well we got is John with us today. It's the Yeah, we've got
John.
Are you?
I'm back.
What is it with all these people having holidays? We had Christmas. I haven't had a holiday since
I've started.
In three years.
John, are you messing? What are you talking
about? You freaking lived in Bali? You lived in Bali
for six months? Work
every day?
And ignored our calls? The whole operation went to shit?
I was trying to I was trying to leave. Silent
quit. Joking. And he's going to and he's going to the wedding early.
Well
he's put us to work.
Unreal. Like we're grafting on Tuesday and he's just got swanned off on the Monday. Great to have you on, John. Thanks guys. Good to be back. Fricking Chris. Chris
strolls in here, brown as a berry.
Look at him, like all turned up, look. It's just it just recently said he is he got some news as well. I don't know if you wanna put him on, John, but he uh Yeah, I'll pass him on. Do you wanna tell us
a Chris?
Hello guys.
What's going on?
So after twelve years I finally asked my other half to marry me.
I love her as well. And did was this prompted by me?
I mean you may have had uh a thing in everything. Because when we're when we were in New
York I was like, Are you taking the piss? You've been together twelve years. I mean you did make me feel bad. Yeah.
You did.
And how'd you feel? How was it? How did it go?
I think it went quite well actually, to be fair. And I I think um I think I put a lot of effort into the ring that I was supposed to have in America. But I ended up turning up late, so I ended up proposing at home and stuff. So was it
was your original plan to I'm not even talking about. The original pl the plan was perfect.
The original plan was Fantastic.
Was it in
America though? It was in America. It was, yeah. Oh what a shame said ringing too.
I want to get engaged again. I
know, but it's plenty of time.
Yeah, it's just like we've done all the fun stuff. Have we? There's nothing left.
There's nothing left. Well congratul Chris, congratulations.
Congratulations.
That's great news. No, like
we 'cause you know we've been engaged. Well
I don't think we've done all of us. We've got
married. Our youth is dead and buried. We've had all we've had newborns, we've had toddlers. All the good stuff's gone.
I I disagree. I think all the good stuff's to come. Got you sixty. My next big one's fifty, that's that's old as fuck, isn't it? But anyway, uh let's not be doom and gloom. What I'm saying is actually we good to see the kids grow up, see them get married.
How do Abbey and Peter plan to turn Jordan into the pod’s eligible bachelor?
You know, when they do grow up as well. I just don't wanna I wanna be like in a
in their wedding with all like hot young chicks and I'll be like a little granny in the corner getting wheeled out. Hello. You know, I don't want that.
Well you know, you'll you'll be a hot you'll be a guilf, no denying it.
I will 'cause I'll get facelift. I'll get everything done. A second one, yeah.
I'll get them I'll get my bows lifted. My saggy bows, I'll get 'em lifted up.
You need that now? Oh my god, did you see that thing I sent you today about the hair transplant?
I
can't do that.
You can't do that. Have you seen it, John? Have you seen what happens when you get a hair transplant?
Have you seen Jordan's hair transplant?
Is it amazing?
He's like a different different person. He's like good looking now, and he's
he's always good looking, Jordan.
Oh my god. He couldn't pull a muscle for years. Looked about sixties ago. Got a full full hairline, like photon, full photon, like a sharp as a sharp as the other.
He looks like photon Jordan.
He went full turkey and he's come back. He's got a little blonde afro on the top. He looks like Unbelievable. He's an absolute bead magnet now.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What’s the opening banter about chin filler vs. a heart‑shaped head?
0:00–3:18
2
How do Abbey and Peter plan to turn Jordan into the pod’s eligible bachelor?
3:18–7:29
3
Why did a listener get frozen out of her friendship group after getting a boyfriend?
7:29–9:46
4
What’s Abbey’s own story of being cut off by a mate and what can we learn from it?
9:46–13:36
5
Did he really practice his perfect proposal speech on an ex?
13:36–17:00
6
Should the couple do a proposal ‘do‑over’ after the ex‑practice revelation?
17:00–20:49
7
Why are Kermit the Frog and Postman Pat popping up on the bedroom shuffle?
20:49–25:27
8
What are the ‘wheelchair‑push’ and hypochondriac miracle stories and what do they say about good‑samaritan limits?
25:27–29:01
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from The Therapy Crouch
“Never Say That In Bed!” Abbey and Peter REACT To The Wild Fulham Trend!
“The Real Reason Couples Split!” Kate Daly on The Silent Signs Of Divorce!
“You Left THAT In The Key Drawer?!” Abbey & Peter on Bedroom Secrets & Wedding Drama
Bridezilla or Justified?! Abbey’s Sister Elle & Scott on Pre-Wedding Chaos & Brutal Scandals!
Abbey’s Lawless Nashville Hen Do, Pete’s DIY Golf Course & The 2-Hour Bedroom Dilemma!
“That Is CORRECT!” Abbey and Peter REVEAL Bedroom Confessions, Bulging Discs & Keeping Score!