Chapter 1: Why was Taylor Frankie Paul's season of The Bachelorette canceled?
Good morning, girlies, it's the toast.
It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast. They sound amazing. Welcome back to the Chose and happy Friday. Hope everybody had a pargy weekend and is getting ready to have a pargy weekend. I hope everybody had a pargy week, period, and is getting ready to have a pargy weekend.
It's been a crazy week, honestly. Looking forward to putting this one to bed. It is. It is like a historic week. Oh, yeah. News wise. I mean, I was just talking about myself and my party week. Every week is party, but it's just been like a lot. So I'm excited for a relaxing weekend. Well, not relaxing, but to not get out of my job. Can I ask you a question?
I was watching TikTok this morning, as I do when I get ready to prepare for the show. And I was watching a podcast clip and somebody was asking the other person, like, are you happy? And then, you know, happy. Like, do you have happy moments? Because I don't believe that anyone in this life is like truly just like happy. Capital H. And I was like, wait, what?
Like, first of all, so I wanted to ask you, do you think you're happy, like a happy person? Oh, that's two different questions. Yes, I agree. But then also, do you agree with that sentiment being like, no one in this world is like capital H happy? No, there are people who are happy people. They're rare.
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Chapter 2: What led to Jessi Ngatikaura's husband filing for divorce?
I feel like... I feel like... I am one of those people. Like, I really feel like I'm a truly happy person. Generally speaking, you're a happy person. But when I think of the people who are happy, capital H, who, like, never have, like, an unhappy moment. Margo Lewin. You're not one of them. Yeah, yeah. So, but yes, you are, compared to the gen pop, like, you are a happy person. Yeah.
Chapter 3: What happened between Usher and Justin Bieber at Beyoncé's Oscars after-party?
Josh Peck talked a lot about it in his book. His book was called I Hate Happy People. And how, like, he used to be jealous of those people who would just, like, have that innate, like, joy. And I'm, like, I read the book. I'm, like, oh, he's talking about me.
Chapter 4: What did Demi Lovato clarify about her Heart Attack performance?
No, so I think there's, like, happy people who are just, like, always happy.
and they're like special and then i think there are people who are happy in their lives who are just like enjoying life i feel like i'm both like actually and i am i don't think i'm like radically happy you're not about to happy no but i am um i'm very happy yeah me too you know and like i'm very happy lowercase h lots of happy moments i think i'm happy i think we're happy people and this is a happy show and i think that's why we are people are like extremely drawn to us
Yeah, I think it's nice to be happy and to aspire towards happiness. Because you don't have to be happy all the time.
Chapter 5: What is the premise of SNL's new short-form series, The Rundown?
We're not psychotic.
Chapter 6: How do Queenie and Weenie of the Week segments work?
But that's always the goal. And that's what we hold in high esteem. Yeah. So you agree. You think we're really happy. I think we try to be. Yeah, we do. We do. Some days are hard. Yesterday was hard for me, you guys. I had such a fucking bad day. But it's like hard. You can't measure day to day.
It's like there's so many different measurements of happiness, like overall happiness, day to day, moment to moment, you know, like moments of joy. That fuels the rest of it. Even if the rest of your day was like shite, it's like, oh, I'm happy in this moment. Yeah. Well, today's episode is just crazy. Yesterday was...
I want to say like one of the biggest days for pop culture entertainment news in the last decade. Like I can't remember. The thing I keep thinking like comparing it to is a little bit like Scandaval, just in terms of its bigness and how much it's like breached just pop culture. Yeah, where I'm like, is the president going to address this? Yeah, Scandival is a good comparison.
I was thinking like that Bachelor in Paradise pause that happened. It happened so long ago, so we forget how big it was. But at the time, it was the biggest thing that ever happened. Yeah, that's a good comparison. And also, I compared it to Scandival because I remember thinking at the time, like, if you didn't watch this show, like you were missing out on like such an interesting saga. Yeah.
And I feel like so many, so funny, like Morgan Stewart responded to one of my stories being like, can you explain this? Like what's, I'm like, you aren't like, and my friend Abe texted me being like, I'm going to start the show. I'm like, girl, it's too late. It's too late. And now like you shouldn't start the show. Correct.
So it just reminding me of like, like it's a Mount Rushmore, honestly, of pop culture news. I cannot think of anything crazier. The idea that The Bachelor was set to premiere next week, it's filmed, it's done and dusted and they're pulling it. This is unprecedented, right? Like a TV show being pulled. I can't even remember. That has been completely recorded.
Maybe people pull TV shows for whatever reason, but nothing as big as The Bachelor. They pull episodes. They don't pull whole seasons. Yeah, before it even starts. And I just want to say, there's so much weird internet behavior, but my whole timeline is filled with people's takes. And I actually, it's such an...
dynamic complex situation actually like like hearing people's takes and it's all colored by their own like world view and experience um but what's annoying me so much i've seen so many people being like i mean i predicted that they would cancel this like oh wow you predicted it like duh no there's a lot of different takes i agree i'm appreciating them because this thing is so layered but what i will say what makes it different from scandal ball is like this is not fun no no like i
Scandival was so salacious. The worst thing someone did was cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend. As we've said so many times, not a crime. It did get dark, though, towards the end when they just wouldn't stop beating the fuck out of Raquel. But that was on the flip side. The thing that Raquel and Tom did was not criminal. So it was just salacious.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the recent news on Taylor Frankie Paul for the Bachelorette franchise?
Let's get into the stories because like literally it's going to be 40 minutes. I have so much to say. So without further ado-da-doo-da-doo, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you-da-doo need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you-da-doo need to know are brought to you by Pepsi Prebiotic Cola.
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Chapter 8: What insights were shared regarding celebrity relationships and public perception?
Thank you, turds and conditions. You're welcome. Turds and conditions. Our first story. So here's the story. If any of you guys aren't following this as closely as we are, but you've been paying attention this week because ABC has canceled Taylor Frankie Paul's season of The Bachelorette in the wake of horrifying abuse video.
So starting earlier this week, we said there was a pause on filming of Slamu. Something happened between Taylor and Dakota. Seemed kind of innocuous, but then actually The timing was confusing because she was like literally at the Oscars the night before, Sunday night, Monday morning. Everyone stops filming. Then the news came out that there was like a domestic dispute with them.
There's an investigation going on. He alleges like physical abuse. Choking with a child. Abusing, yeah, physical violence with a child. And that investigation was ongoing. So we're like, okay, wait and see. We're also watching the season unfold. Like Taylor is unraveling. The Bachelorette is coming up. The Bachelorette is coming up.
premiering next week and on the show, she's days away from The Bachelorette and she's still involved in this toxic relationship with Dakota. Then yesterday... a video came out on TMZ of a domestic incident between Taylor and Dakota from 2023. So not the one that's like got the show to pause this time. Not the necklace choking, but this is the one that is associated with her arrest.
We knew she was arrested in 2023 on a domestic violence charge. They had started filming for Secret Lives of Mormon Lives before she was arrested. It became a storyline. They used the body camera footage. They didn't film for months. The show like almost didn't even make it. And this was before the show ever premiered.
They had filmed like one episode and then their main character was arrested and it was really bad. And then months later, they picked up filming again and she's pregnant. When she was arrested, she was obviously drunk. She wasn't pregnant. She was fighting with Dakota. When they pick up months later, she's pregnant with Dakota's baby. So like the first season, she's going through this pregnancy.
She had two children from a previous marriage. This was going to be her third child. So it was always known that like there was something that happened that got her arrested. I don't think anyone like paid that. The fans didn't pay that much attention to the details of it other than the fact that it was like domestic violence, drunken, disorderly content between like neighbors called the police.
Yeah. And I think I think we can all acknowledge like when you hear about a domestic dispute where like the female is the aggressor, it's way different of a reaction than like when the male is the aggressor. especially just looking at them, like she's tiny and he's much bigger. Like you don't think it poses a real threat. So I think part of at least my reasoning for like, I knew this. I did.
I think she was like a physical abuser. Like, no, not really. Just because like she's the girl. I just thought she was a drunk, crazy person, like causing chaos. The neighbors heard. They called the police. It was more so like a noise thing. Yeah. And I just assumed it was that she pled guilty. She's been on probation ever since. But they never talked about it again on the show.
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