Rachael Kirkael: Wednesday, January 29th, 2025
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Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Wednesday. It is hump day! Don't forget to hump someone you love, and speaking of somebody I love, hello, Jackie, how are you?
I'm good. First hump day in the Pargy News studio, PNS.
Should we hump the new furniture like you had suggested?
Yeah, I think we should christen it. It deserves a christening.
Right, a christening of sorts.
Mm-hmm.
You first.
Oh, goodness.
Let me put on my favorite song, Fat, Juicy, Wet by Bruno Mars.
No, unfortunately, as much as I want to, I can't hump the furniture because I don't want to take the autofocus on the new camera off of my face.
Right, sure. Excuses, excuses.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to disturb the new technology. So unfortunately, I can't hump publicly, though you guys know how that thrills me.
Without technology.
Without technology. Shout out to the camera and the counselor. One of the best children's books ever written. And I'm not just saying that because I wrote it. But it comes back into the rotation like every once in a while. You know how we cycle through books. And every single time I'm like this is fire flames. And it will bring a tear to the eye.
I didn't write it. And I also think it's one of the greatest books.
children's books ever written although you guys know how I feel about children's book looking at them with a fresh adult eye a lot of them don't stand the test of time like a lot of them are pieces of shit teaching our children like poor values no teaching our children to dull their shine that's a common correct the rainbow fish rainbow fish but also like pout pout fish I didn't like pout pout fish vibe either which is actually crazy because it was recommended to me by Dana and we're aligned on everything in this world but like should it be called it really makes you think like what are we teaching our children which is why it's so important to just like plop your kids in front of the TV and make them watch the toast if you want them to grow into adults who are cool and funny you know it's really so true also a lot of toasters who have had babies like since I've published my book so it's been like a year and a half so a year and a half worth of
of little toasters, they have now come to the book. They're like, oh, I bought it because we were buying children's books. And they're like, it's so good. So for so many people, it's like their first time reading it when they do have their child. And I love hearing from everyone. Never gets old.
Yeah, we're kind of like two published authors. A lot of people don't know that either.
I feel like as much as we can make mention of it, we do.
It's worth mentioning.
Yeah, we are two published authors, which is so low key. We are always bragging about our beauty and our wits and our charms, but not so much about our literary accomplishments.
I feel like I really don't talk about my beauty or my charm as often as I should, given how much beauty and charm I have.
You don't think at the end of every episode when you encourage people to say that we're beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented, that that's that?
That's what kids these days call affirmations. This is me in the mirror every morning. I am beautiful. I am stunning. I am wickedly talented. I am beautiful. I am stunning. I am wickedly talented. And let me tell you that shit works.
I was watching the Rachel Kirkconnell interview on Call Her Daddy last night. And she said something like two times about being like beautiful, smart, and blank. And I was like, oh, it's giving toast.
To be honest, I had heard once that she was a toaster. Yeah, no. I think she told me that.
That doesn't feel incongruous. She came to the Spritz party and that, yeah, she did say that when she came to the Spritz launch party. And we were like, what, us?
Yeah, I don't know if she still keeps up every day. And we are going to talk about her interview on Call Her Daddy. There's actually a lot to talk about today. I watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night. Well, actually, I watched it this morning, as did you. Rachel, you're saying Kirkconnell. Kirkconnell.
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