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The Viall Files

E1134 - Ask Nick - 30, Unmarried & Stressed Out

01 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What gift can capture memories for Father's Day?

0.031 - 14.739 Unknown

Father's Day is coming up, and I couldn't be more excited, but we also know that Father's Day is one of those hard holidays to shop for the fathers in your lives because, you know... What do you get them? What do you get them? You know, you always ask Dad, he's like, oh, I don't want anything.

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14.859 - 27.38 Unknown

Well, give the gift of love and amazing memories, not only for the fathers in your life, but for the whole family with StoryWorth. I got my dad a StoryWorth gift a couple years back, and we're still talking about that gift even today.

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StoryWorth is a personalized storytelling gift service that helps families capture and preserve stories by sending weekly prompts and turning them into hardcover books. Here's how it works. Each week, StoryWorth sends a question about his life. He can respond however he wants, email, voice recording, even a phone-guided call. No apps, no logins. It's super tech easy. No tech nightmares.

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48.03 - 51.435 Unknown

It's designed so he can focus on storytelling, not figuring out technology.

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51.483 - 63.554 Nick Viall

At the end of the year, all of the stories are compiled into a hardcover book with his words, his photos, and his life. So it's so fun to go back and relive everything that they've been through with them.

63.754 - 80.41 Unknown

Well, our family is popping up more and more grandkids, and it's something that over the holidays, we crack open that StoryWorth book, and we share some stories about our parents' childhoods. It's always nostalgic. Everyone in your family will absolutely love it. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is before the stories get harder to remember. Five.

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Father's Day is Sunday, June 21st. Order right now and save up to $20 at storyworth.com. Save up to $20 at storyworth.com. The Volf House is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing a budgeting game? Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at Progressive.com.

Chapter 2: How can StoryWorth help preserve family stories?

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Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Prices and coverage match. Limited by state law. Not available in all states.

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what's going on everybody welcome back to another episode of ask nick uh i think we've done one of these intros in a while have we just like we just go into the calls now and we just play the music and get in the call so this is like different you know especially if you've just started listening to us nick anytime recently we've talked more about incorporating some intros maybe some people might be grown oh i like just the call just the calls but there's been some thought about

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148.025 - 172.581 Unknown

have it you know shorter keeping it focused maybe there's some things we can learn maybe maybe there's themes i don't know let us know in the chat in the comments let us know in the comments anyways but we're here uh to let you guys know maybe you've already seen it but i launched a sub stack uh and i think especially you ask nick listeners uh will really enjoy this sub stack if you listen to ask nick obviously you are listening to either hearing people's stories their relationship problems their

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172.561 - 188.95 Unknown

challenges. Some of you might listen to hear my thoughts and feelings or advice that I give. I hope some of you have at least found it somewhat useful and beneficial. But I've spent a lot of time with the podcast, obviously thinking about what we want to talk about, conceptualizing it. You know, when I get done with like callers and

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You know, sometimes their stories will remind me of ideas or relationships through the advice I give them. And someone is often just like in my head. Lately, I've been kind of jotting notes and putting, collecting my thoughts. And like, sometimes I'll like come on the show, especially if you listen to reality recap.

202.9 - 219.329 Unknown

And I'll be thinking about, I'll watch Summer House reunion and I'll be like, oh, well, this will make me think of this. And then we come in and And then we have a full household and we have a guest and depending on the day or the vibe, you know, like sometimes it just like, you know, I always sometimes I'm left with like, you know what? I could have been more nuanced there.

219.49 - 229.846 Unknown

Anyways, I have found that like with Substack, it's a different medium. It's a different way to communicate to you guys, the audience. And I think it's going to be a space where I'll probably like, you know, probably be a little more vulnerable. I think that's the hope to be a little bit more vulnerable.

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I think I've been thinking a lot, obviously, as a father who is about to be a father of three girls under three. But I think Now, you know, it's interesting, you know, if you, I don't know how long you guys have been listening. I'm sure it varies. Some of you have been listening since I've been starting this podcast when I was a single guy.

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And I think the themes of like, obviously the advice I give through Ask Nick has been generally consistent, but I am sure if you go back and look back, I think obviously that varies and changes as my life has changed. And obviously now I'm really entering fatherhood.

Chapter 3: What challenges does the host face in his marriage?

507.79 - 531.708 Mary

I decided that I couldn't pretend that I hadn't seen them. So I wrote him a long email and I copied our therapist on it and essentially said, hey, I recognize I broke your trust. I went through your emails. I saw all of this information. I knew that he would be angry about this and that he would make it about the fact that I looked through his messages and not the actual issue.

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531.768 - 540.756 Mary

And I said, please try and keep these things separate, which of course didn't happen. He tried to make it all about the fact that I broke his trust and looked at the messages on his Apple Watch.

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Why did you hire a therapist?

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543.693 - 565.665 Mary

Well, our therapist in our therapy session, she asked him, hey, what'd you get from this email that she sent? And he said that she wants me to help out more at home. And my therapist kind of looked at him and said, that's all you got. So he, again, just made it all about the fact that I broke his trust. He said, hey, people say things when they're mad. I was frustrated. I was angry. Okay.

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565.705 - 584.086 Mary

So that was his excuse. That was his excuse, yeah. Things were really terrible. I had actually said, hey, I'll have the second baby myself. I'll do it myself. I feel like you don't have much of an interest in being a father at this point. I have a great group of people around me. I'll walk away. I'm not forcing you to do anything.

584.206 - 593.697 Mary

If you don't want to be a family man anymore, that's your prerogative, but I deserve to know. He suddenly changed overnight. We didn't actually talk about things or work on things. He just changed overnight.

593.677 - 614.588 Mary

changed in a good way or a bad way in a good way in a good way literally overnight i tried to basically not look a gift horse in the mouth be like okay well he changed but there wasn't actually any work that happened he just changed what do you mean work like we didn't talk it was one day we had a horrible therapy session and then the next weekend he was suddenly just acting therapy

615.007 - 634.732 Mary

We did stop going to therapy because his behavior changed and then our daughter was born and things were very crazy and busy. And I, again, just kind of was like, all right, well, things are good. Hopefully, maybe he just realized he was wrong and didn't want to admit he was wrong. And so maybe things will be good from here on out.

634.752 - 635.293 Unknown

Yeah.

Chapter 4: How does the caller navigate her divorce?

1318.112 - 1337.079 Mary

So he had just been lying to me about this for at least the past year, probably before. So I'm struggling with the fact that I didn't even clock it, that I truly, truly thought that he would never do this to me. And I always have prided myself on having a very good read on people and even him.

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You're not a psychic.

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1339.081 - 1356.904 Mary

I'm not a psychic, but I feel like there are many instances where I could almost predict how he would react to something, what he would say, what he would do. And I was always right. And I always just had a really good radar for people. It just makes me so nervous now for the future when I try to date someone to not be jaded.

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1357.485 - 1377.595 Mary

Now that I see what can happen to let somebody in your life and they can just like wreak havoc like that. It makes me want to be alone forever, but I also don't want to be alone forever. So I'm really nervous about how do I, how can I just trust my instincts again? And then, like I said, the second part was telling his family.

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1377.976 - 1379.498 Unknown

Why do you think you should tell this family?

1380.203 - 1390.999 Mary

Because I have to still interact with them because of our kids. And I'm pretty sure he probably told them a bunch of lies about me, which are untrue. And so I know that's my ego talking.

1391.94 - 1394.223 Unknown

So you still interact with his family?

1395.085 - 1396.407 Mary

Yeah, I have to.

1396.427 - 1397.188 Unknown

How do they treat you?

Chapter 5: How can I communicate better with my boyfriend?

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So where do you and your boyfriend stand, I guess on this?

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4024.432 - 4035.006 Ali

He thinks that, like, he always sympathizes with me. And I told him, I was like, hey, I wish you would, like, back me up a little bit more when it comes to them.

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4035.026 - 4037.809 Unknown

And how would you like him to back you up?

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4038.21 - 4040.873 Ali

Like, kind of, I guess, say that some of the things that you said, like.

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But your boyfriend's not going without you?

4042.916 - 4043.877 Ali

No.

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And do you feel like he's sad about that?

4047.262 - 4054.371 Ali

Usually, no. But he did kind of make a comment recently of, like, wanting to hang out with him.

Chapter 6: What should I do if I feel excluded from my boyfriend's friends?

4055.026 - 4063.516 Ali

Because he has other friends that are more like his close friends, but sometimes it's nice to have a big group to go out and do things with.

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4063.737 - 4066.801 Unknown

But this big group is women and gay men?

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4067.121 - 4076.072 Ali

Yeah, and then sometimes his other straight male friends will be included, but they're not a core part of this other group, if that makes sense.

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4076.508 - 4093.489 Unknown

Kind of. It's just more like, listen, I don't, for whatever reason, your ex-best friend, I mean, maybe it's just a product of she thinks they're more fun. I don't know, you know? Yeah. And available and, you know, I don't know. Maybe you're not as available as you want to believe you are.

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4093.789 - 4094.972 Ali

That's probably true.

Chapter 7: How do I navigate feelings of rejection in friendships?

4094.952 - 4107.237 Unknown

And it's, you know, maybe it's just one of those. Yeah, it's just like, you know, the shitty part for you. It sounds like is that like when you met this girl, I'm guessing she didn't know a ton of people. And I don't know.

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4107.258 - 4109.282 Ali

Or she was like, yeah, she was new to my city.

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4109.302 - 4111.847 Unknown

So she's new. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. She's new to your city.

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she meets you here's this lovely friend you were more available you were single you didn't have a boyfriend you weren't going back to school very different your life was very different when you met this friend than it is now and then six months into this friendship she meets a group of people and then subsequently you get a you have a boyfriend now so i'm guessing and i hope that you were investing more time

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4135.486 - 4154.524 Unknown

with your boyfriend than you were with her which you know it's if that if the amount of time that you know you were dating your friend for a moment in a way yeah you know like when you meet when a friendship starts that fast especially in adult life when you're single and it's that intense there's you know

Chapter 8: What steps can I take to feel more included in social situations?

4154.504 - 4179.109 Unknown

I've said this a lot of times. In friendships where it's like a straight man and a straight woman, you can be total friends. It can be platonic. But there are elements of that where that person is filling a role that a boyfriend or girlfriend might fill. Just those late night talks, going out to dinner with someone, just having that quality time.

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4179.269 - 4183.313 Unknown

And when you meet someone that you really like and you want to invest in,

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4183.63 - 4207.68 Unknown

it's going to eat up that quality time right and then subsequently it sounds like at the same time you know maybe she did have more in common with some of these people in this group or really it was just probably more just i'm guessing most of them are single in this group currently two of them but like at the time only one of them was is it the women or the gay men

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4207.745 - 4210.068 Ali

The gay guy has always been single.

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4210.088 - 4212.631 Unknown

I guess the women's more specific.

4212.672 - 4214.874 Ali

Yeah, so the women have a relationship.

4216.176 - 4218.96 Unknown

Okay. But is their partner part of the group?

4219.501 - 4222.264 Ali

One was, but then they broke up and so not anymore.

4222.384 - 4226.35 Unknown

Is this like a party group? Are they like very like socialites? Are they going out a lot?

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