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The Viall Files

E941 – Going Deeper with Jen and Zac Affleck

Wed, 28 May 2025

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Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper edition.  After an incredible season 2 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, many questions about Jen and Zac Affleck still remain. And today… you get your answer. What's been going on in their relationship? Why did Jen stop filming? How does Zac feel about Chippendales now? Are they related to Ben Affleck? And much, much, more… You will absolutely not want to miss it.  “I’m not responsible for Zac and how he acted" Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod   Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w   Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/  To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com  Are you struggling with any sort of dating, relationship, or life dilemma? Do you want all the answers? Email [email protected] with your question in the subject line to express interest in appearing on the show!  To advertise on this podcast please email: [email protected] or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Cash App - Download Cash App & sign up! Use our exclusive referral code VIALL10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account. GoPure! - For a limited time, our listeners get 25% off goPure with code VIALL at checkout. Just head to https://gopurebeauty.com, use code VIALL, and you're all set.  Mint Mobile - This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at https://mintmobile.com/viall  Quince - Stick to the staples that last—with elevated essentials from Quince. Go to https://quince.com/viall for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Timestamps: (00:00) - Intro (10:32) - How They Met And Joined The Show (19:17) - Unpacking Season One (35:17) - Jen’s Background (40:20) - Working On Marriage (46:21) - Relationship Before The Show (56:17) - What You Love About Each Other (01:03:01) - Role As A Husband Today (01:08:06) - Season Two (01:16:23) - Demi Situation (01:23:03) - Pregnancy (01:26:22) - Outro   Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nnataliejjoy @jenniferlaffleck @zacaffleck @ciaracrobinson @justinkaphillips  @leahgsilberstein @dereklanerussell  

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: How did Jen and Zac Affleck meet?

862.071 - 871.857 Zac Affleck

No, it's 18 months, so it's six months shorter. It is primarily for men, but women can go. Like Whitney on the show, she went on a mission. I'd say like 20, 25% of women.

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872.137 - 874.079 Jen Affleck

Is that relatively new for the church?

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874.099 - 878.522 Zac Affleck

No, like my mom went on a mission. That's been going on for a long time.

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878.542 - 884.786 Justin

When mom talk opportunity comes, how do we decide as a couple to do the show?

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885.946 - 910.166 Natalie Joy

Oh, I was all in. My manager told me about it. She's like, it was also it was right after Taylor went to jail and my manager called me and she's like, hey, they're like recasting for this like Mormon wife show. Like, would you want to do it? And at first I was hesitant, of course, because. everything that had happened with Taylor. I didn't know anyone from MomTalk.

910.226 - 936.26 Natalie Joy

And I was just kind of like, oh, like, I don't really know what this is about. And at that point, I was very at a stage in my life that I was trying to keep up with an image. I was trying to keep up with an image on my social media. And that's a big thing in the Mormon culture. Like, I do think there's this pressure to look perfect, be perfect. And I was just kind of like, ah, I

936.94 - 954.543 Natalie Joy

don't know if like that would look good for my brand. Genuinely, I was thinking that like, I don't know like what they're trying to do. And then they told me it would be called Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I was like, oh, like they're there. And this was after the Mormon swinging. So of course, I'm like, they're probably going to want to make that about that.

954.684 - 977.821 Natalie Joy

But I before deciding I had done the casting interview and they basically told me I got it. And I was still hesitant. But then I met up with the girls for the first time. And I was like, wait, I love this group. Like, I love these girls. And yeah, the rest is history. And I kind of went in with just being like, you know what? Like, I do think...

979.162 - 995.848 Natalie Joy

Just to be completely honest, being married to Zach, I did feel like I wanted to keep up with protecting our image. Honestly, for your family, he comes from a very wealthy family who are pretty known within your community. Yeah.

Chapter 2: What challenges did they face during season one?

1558.075 - 1582.326 Natalie Joy

Yes, I definitely would say that. But I do feel like I could have navigated season one better for sure. And I could have been better at communicating. And obviously you can see in season two that there is lack of communication. And I do think I was living in fear a lot of the time. But it was such a hard place to be in after season one because...

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1583.266 - 1609.875 Natalie Joy

part of me felt this guilt for putting my relationship on the show and exposing that and being the one to push for that. But at the same time, I was like, wait a second, I'm not responsible for how Zach acted and his actions. So there is a lot of just guilt in me feeling like, oh, I did play a huge part in this. And then part of me was like, no, actually, I'm not responsible for this. And

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1610.495 - 1629.844 Natalie Joy

Like your son is responsible for this. And I do feel like I was blamed based off of some comments that were made from like what's shown on social media. Everybody has seen it. And yeah, I know I was definitely blamed, but I definitely think that everyone has learned from this situation.

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1629.884 - 1638.488 Natalie Joy

And I'm so grateful because I also feel like his family has been able to take a step back and also see like everything. Yeah.

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1640.009 - 1657.441 Zac Affleck

Just, I mean, again, being like fully transparent. I think what was really hard about season one was I think my family was defensive of me. Not even necessarily my parents. It was more like siblings and cousins and people who like actually know me. But I think they saw like, yeah, Zach made a huge mistake. But they also have seen me my whole life. And they're like, yeah, he's a good kid.

1657.481 - 1679.344 Zac Affleck

Like he did. He acted immature and like he did something really dumb. But like that's not the full context of like who he is. So they were defensive of me, which made Jen feel unsupported. And then on the flip side, Jen's parents are the most loving, supportive people ever. So I think where most parents would be like, yeah, leave that loser. They were like, Jen, Zach's an amazing person.

1679.364 - 1682.388 Zac Affleck

They were calling me like they were crying with me. Like Jen's parents have been

1683.269 - 1704.991 Zac Affleck

so amazing when it comes to this and so I think that was really hard for Jen to be like I think you're getting so much support from my parents when you were the one who messed up why can't I get the same I think it was just a really tricky situation to navigate because what do my parents say hey we want to congratulate you on this show where our son looks like an asshole because that's that's what I mean that's how I acted so yeah

1705.692 - 1718.936 Zac Affleck

yeah it's been it's been hard and it's been tough to navigate like you can imagine honestly like yeah because we have our reality tv life but then we have our real life relationships with our family and friends and that is really tough to navigate to be honest

Chapter 3: How has their relationship evolved since the show?

Chapter 4: What did Jen and Zac learn from their reality TV experience?

2469.491 - 2498.518 Natalie Joy

I can go down to the details. I think the biggest thing that we struggle with is communication and the way that we communicate when in the thick of it or when there is an issue. I am a withdrawer and he's a pursuer. And so I think that has been like the game changer for us, like kind of like perfecting that and how we go about conversations has been like

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2499.631 - 2516.312 Zac Affleck

Yeah. Yeah. I think just through therapy and through all the help we've gotten, we've learned a lot of different tools. I don't know if I'm like being too vulnerable or like what can or can't be shared, but like... You can share anything you want to share. Yeah. I'll just be completely honest. You can't be too vulnerable. Like for example, so like when I...

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2517.293 - 2536.543 Zac Affleck

get really worked up I can really spiral for example like the Chippendales thing I had I didn't know what was going on in my mind it was a much worse crazy scenario like I had been told these different things from other cast members so I was expecting the absolute worst and instead of like taking a deep breath and gathering the facts I just started going crazy and saying things I didn't mean and doing things I didn't mean

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2537.703 - 2556.83 Zac Affleck

And there's like a lot of things that our therapists have taught us of like, why do you react that way? But like one simple thing that like I do now is like, like I have like anxiety medication. And so like if I ever find myself in a place where like I'm like really frustrated with Jen, like last night we got in a big argument. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go take my medication.

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2556.85 - 2574.224 Zac Affleck

I'm going to go take 20 minutes by myself. And I'm going to like sit here and think about how I want to show up and who, like how I want to talk to my wife. And then we're going to have this conversation, like when I'm regulated versus like before it'd be like screaming and yelling and pointing fingers, which goes nowhere, um, which people saw season one.

2574.424 - 2596.075 Zac Affleck

And then we've just done a lot of other things that I feel like in the Mormon church were kind of considered taboo. Like, um, One day we decided to go to a spiritual healer and we took like a weed gummy together. And we just, yeah. Was it a weed gum? Yeah, it was a THC weed gummy. Yeah, we decided like, hey, like maybe this will like help us open up. And like, right.

2596.175 - 2609.52 Zac Affleck

I had never drank, smoked, done anything in my life. But this was right after season one came out. And I was in like, we were both in a really dark place. I'm like, we need to change things up. Like weed was legal in Arizona where we were living. We were smoking weed. No, no, we weren't smoking weed.

2609.54 - 2610.22 Leah

We were going crazy.

2611.72 - 2635.105 Zac Affleck

um but i'm like yeah let's let's take a gummy and we went to this spiritual healer and like had this great experience and then well that was kind of a crazy experience to be honest also uh we took like since we were both so naive we took like 10 times the dose you're actually supposed to take and we were like in a different universe and didn't know where we were and this spiritual healer i was confessing all my life sins and like telling her how much i loved jen and

Chapter 5: What is their perspective on parenting and family dynamics?

Chapter 6: How did they manage the pressures of public scrutiny?

2218.081 - 2244.216 Natalie Joy

aren't here for you maybe they don't even love you but guess what God does and like I want you to know that so when you leave this house like you have something to rely on if you don't feel that from maybe the next family or whatever but My parents have always been a perfect example of that. And to be honest, that kind of is still is what is keeping me still with the church.

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2244.456 - 2270.028 Natalie Joy

I've had a lot of issues with the church since the show, and I've had kind of like a spiritual faith crisis. But what's kept me is that love. What's kept me is like that relationship with God, with Jesus, because I just saw how it transformed these kids' lives and it transformed my life. And I do think people get fixated on the whole, like, why do you wear garments? Why do you do this? Why?

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2270.489 - 2271.069 Natalie Joy

Joseph Smith.

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2271.089 - 2272.43 Zac Affleck

Hey, where are your garments, by the way?

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2273.37 - 2295.123 Natalie Joy

It's about the intention, baby. It's about being a good person. That's what it's about. But again, a lot of members do fixate on the things that aren't important. And for me, I always go back to the primary things that are important. And yeah, my mom growing up, like... we didn't have the like best relationship because of the language barrier.

2295.483 - 2319.738 Natalie Joy

So I was raised by this Hispanic mother, but then I was also raised by this in some way, traditional white Asian Mormon, man. So I was able to see so much. I was able to see, have so many different relationships with my foster siblings. And I, Like, I feel like I have really such a good perspective on the blessings of the church and the good that you can get from the church.

2319.798 - 2334.671 Natalie Joy

But I also have perspective of like what I don't want to teach my kids and what I want to leave. And that's something I'm still just figuring out day by day. But I feel like we've been able to teach each other like so much. There's so much I can take from him.

2335.271 - 2357.426 Natalie Joy

And to be honest, my family, even though they're the most Christ-like, loving, least judgmental people, they are very dysfunctional in their own way. I also was raised by parents who yelled at each other and screamed at each other. And in a lot of ways, maybe shouldn't have shown us that, but they showed me the real and the passion. And with that came also toxic things.

2357.866 - 2372.722 Natalie Joy

But then you've got things that I've learned from you and also your grandparents. just like hard work and community as well. And there's just so much that we have learned from each other.

Chapter 7: What role does therapy play in their marriage?

Chapter 8: How did they navigate their differing backgrounds?

3146.952 - 3153.538 Jen Affleck

Truly forever. It's an antique. This is an investment.

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3153.738 - 3155.519 Natalie Joy

This is Gap.

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3155.9 - 3172.995 Jen Affleck

This is fake designer. Especially when both people in the relationship make their own money and you also want to maintain a little bit of independence, even in a marriage. And I know we do, right? You know, but I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong, you know, for us, it's more about just like making sure we're on the same page, you know?

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3173.415 - 3195.467 Jen Affleck

She doesn't need my permission, nor do I need her permission to spend money. But we just want to make sure that we're doing more things together than apart. And regardless of whose money it was, I am assuming, and correct me if I'm wrong, when it comes to gambling, we are aware of just how dangerous it can be. I'm assuming you are aware of that.

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3195.647 - 3205.052 Jen Affleck

And there's all these stories about people ruining their lives. It is an addiction. And so... Yeah, I'm guessing that's kind of maybe where that those feelings came from.

3205.273 - 3213.497 Zac Affleck

Well, yeah, I think another thing was early on in our marriage because I was the one providing. And again, I had this like framework of my head of like how things work.

3213.577 - 3214.878 Natalie Joy

I can do whatever the hell I want.

3214.978 - 3229.405 Zac Affleck

No, not necessarily that. But it was kind of like I was the one making the money. So I was kind of like I was controlling it. I wasn't giving Jen that freedom that she wanted. And so suddenly when she was making all this money, she's like, well. I've got the freedom now. I'm going to do what I want. And so that's taken us time.

3229.745 - 3239.166 Zac Affleck

It was a punch to my ego and it's taken us time to figure out how are we going to navigate our finances? How are we going to do this? How are we going to do that? And yeah, I think it's just part of figuring it out.

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