go on the date, even if it sucks
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Why should you go on a date even if you don't want to?
It was an hour into the car ride to Chili's that I realized I did not want to go on this date. Scratch that. Rewind that. It was before I even left for the Chili's that I realized I did not want to go on this date. And so I confided to my friend Dylan and I told him, Dylan, I do not want to go on this date with this girl. I have no interest in doing this. And he said, you should do it. Dylan, you're supposed to be my right-hand man. Why are you enabling me to make an hour-long drive to Chili's? And he said, Zerky, you should do this because it'd be good for the soul. Good for the soul. And so I went. I went and I can tell you that we ordered two triple dippers and we got two drinks and I paid $60, but that's history and the rest is a mystery.
But what I can say is that that date, it was what Dylan said it was. It was good for the soul. It was really good for the soul because it made me realize I did not want to date. That dating in 2025 is cucked. No, no. What it made me realize is that I actually wanted to look for intimacy and look for relationships in other places in my life with the people that matter to me. And that, you know what, dating somebody, at least right now, maybe that's not what I want. And maybe that's not what you want. Maybe you just want friends. You've moved to a new city. You're starting work. You've moved to college and to your dorm. You don't know anybody. I don't know. You're starting at a new school. A lot of us are tempted to look for a quick escape.
What is the importance of building relationships with friends?
And maybe we think a relationship, a date, a hookup is a quick escape. And it is. I mean, it can be fun. Don't get me wrong. But there is so much joy in actually building a lasting relationship with friends. And I think that at the root of that, you have to first have a lasting relationship with yourself. And that is where things that are good for the soul come in. They appear. We don't do things that are good for the soul at large because a lot of us are ashamed to admit that there are certain things that are good for our souls. A lot of us might have interests, might have hobbies, might have vices, whatever, that we like to indulge in. But maybe we got bullied out of them when we were younger. Maybe people kind of poke fun at them and think they're cringe, whatever.
And so we avoid them or we at least limit those parts of ourselves. I'm sure that there's plenty of people that you know in your life that they wanted to do something. They wanted to try something, whether that was a sport, whether that was a hobby, a type of art, whether that was a business. But they just didn't because...
Fear we think is a bad thing, but some good fear is actually good for the soul. Cause I will be the first to say I was afraid. I was of going on this, this date because I already had my assumptions. If it's love that you want, I'll give you everything. I had my assumptions and I was afraid of, I don't know, proving them right because it would be a waste of time. Man, that's a big one, right?
How does fear play a role in dating decisions?
Like a lot of us are afraid of wasting time. I get it. But also like you willingly waste time. I willingly waste time. So why don't we do something that's good for the soul and just be like, let's just do it. You should go on the date. You should. Even if you're on the fence, you should. Because it's good for the soul. It's really good for the soul. It's good to just convince yourself that you can do it and that you can talk to somebody and get to know somebody. I think that we've just become so obsessed with the end goal. I will go on this date and meet my husband, meet my wife, meet my sneaky link. Why does that matter? Why can't you just go on the date? Step one, and enjoy yourself. It's not a competition. This isn't a Riz Fest.
I mean, depends, you know, but at least, you know, it doesn't have to be. You can just experience something without having strings attached to it. You can just enjoy yourself in a situation because it's good for the soul. And the emotions that you feel beforehand and the emotions that you feel during, that's all good. That all builds you. But Zerky, like dating is cooked now.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Why should you go on a date even if you don't want to?
0:00–2:01
2
What is the importance of building relationships with friends?
2:01–3:57
3
How does fear play a role in dating decisions?
3:57–10:19
4
Why is it essential to embrace change in life?
10:19–13:20
5
What can we learn from bad dating experiences?
13:20–21:07
6
How to overcome the fear of rejection?
21:07–22:18