how to stop overthinking everything
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What does it mean to be an overthinker?
I've always been an overthinker. I've always been that person that overcooks and thinks, well, what if what I'm saying is bad? What if the person is not going to understand what I'm trying to get across? What if me sending this meme to my crush is actually going to result in her blocking me and telling all of her friends? What just happened? No, not really. I mean, listen, when you send somebody a chopped chin video or a Magusta face or a troll face, it's kind of like the litmus test. I've realized that that's like, you know, it's like accounting. If you're a business major, accounting a lot of the times is the class that will just destroy your GPA if you're not, you know, careful. Thankfully, I didn't take accounting because hell no.
But I've realized over the years that That overthinking, obviously, is not a good thing. It's an important thing. Thinking is very, very important. But something that helps me curb my overthinking, especially, man, when it comes to just like existing, talking to new people, when it comes to making things, that's a huge thing for me. I just remind myself that it's not that deep. It's never been that deep. What really opened my eye to this was actually learning to be more social when I was in college. I used to think that anyone I spoke to saw every bit of my flaws.
How can you curb overthinking in social situations?
If I had a pimple on my face, if I, you know, was feeling self-conscious about my weight that day or if I even felt like, man, I'm ugly, they were going to notice and that was going to impact the way that they were going to treat me. And I remember like having a conversation with somebody who, you know, I knew in college we were homies and they were a very attractive person. And I remember being like, man, it's just like it must be so easy to like talk to people and just be social because like you're like a very good looking, attractive woman. And I'm, you know, whatever. And she was like, no, no. What do you mean? And I was like, I mean, hello, like you, you could be in Vogue. You could literally be invoked.
Why do we perceive others as noticing our flaws?
You could be living in Paris, eating a baguette and a cigarette for breakfast, and you would be fine. And she's like, Zerky, I deal with the same insecurities as anybody. And I'm like, what? I mean, some days I feel like that girl, but other days I feel fat, I feel ugly, I feel worthless. And most of the time, when people come up to me, it's a good change of pace. I welcome it because I'm too scared to do that myself. It's interesting when you start to view people as people. You start to view your actions not through the lens of what other people will think, but of what you would think of yourself. And it's a very sobering reality that a lot of us don't act, don't do things because of fear. We're afraid. Right? Like, you don't go up to your crush.
What are the fears that hold us back from taking action?
You don't DM that person and ask them to go get coffee with you at an overpriced latte shop that sells art to. Which, I mean, that's cool. But, like, why is my coffee $20? It can be $7. And I would still be like, bruh. But, like, at least, okay. But... It really does humanize the other person and it makes you realize that we all we all have insecurities. We all are stressing about us all the time. And most of the time, it's really not that deep. It's really not that deep. It's the same thing with, I think, trying something new. I had a lot of fear when I first started the Zerky show. I was kind of like, who is going to like this? And I stopped thinking so much about that and started thinking, well, how do I make something good? How do I make something that I would watch and I would enjoy?
And instead of focusing on what would I do to make other people like me? How can I dance? How can I be a marionette on camera for people to be like, oh, he's cool? I thought to myself, what would I want to watch? Like, what if I made something that I enjoyed and I found cool and I found people that shared that like-minded vision? And what if you approached your beliefs about other people in the same way? What if instead of being like, how do I approach this person that is like intimidatingly attractive, you know, in a certain way for them to like me, like how do I be like the most, you know, how do I sit in an alpha way for them to notice me across the class, which they're not.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What does it mean to be an overthinker?
0:00–1:38
2
How can you curb overthinking in social situations?
1:38–2:23
3
Why do we perceive others as noticing our flaws?
2:23–3:17
4
What are the fears that hold us back from taking action?
3:17–4:56
5
How can vulnerability lead to better connections?
4:56–7:54
6
What strategies can help simplify decision-making?
7:54–10:24
7
How can you approach your goals without feeling overwhelmed?
10:24–13:54
8
Why is it important to not take life too seriously?
13:54–26:39