how to talk to strangers
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What is the art of talking to strangers?
The worst feeling in the world is when you're talking to somebody, you just told them everything about your life, and they go, yeah, that's really similar to this part of my life, and I totally didn't listen to anything you just said, and instead I'm gonna tell you about me. Who wants to talk to someone like that? Skills pay the bills. Having something that you're good at opens up doors and opportunities you never thought existed. You're a great cook. You know how to really make some burgers at a tailgate. People are going to tap in. You know how to sing. You're like the next Sabrina Carpenter. Please, please, please. Come on now. I was in choir. But there's one skill I still think to this day, out of all the ones that I've acquired in my 23 years of living, as Unk, separates itself from the rest. And that is the art of talking. The art of yapping and being a good conversationalist. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Zarky, I want that. I want to know how to talk to people. But it's hard.
To which I say, yeah, duh, of course it's hard. You're going up to a stranger and you're yapping about something. It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be weird. You're going to have anxiety. Of course. Of course. But hey, I've decided I want to give you an early Christmas present. And I'm going to teach you everything I know. To open up conversations in your life that you never knew existed. With people you haven't even met yet. This is how to talk to. The first rule of talking to somebody is you have to initiate. Zerky, no. I want someone to just come up to me. Listen, that's what I thought too. When I went to college at the University of Georgia, go dogs, I was so excited to walk down my campus and see all the beautiful, young, bright minds that were in Athens, Georgia. But you know what I realized very quickly? Everyone on campus has their headphones in, AirPods blaring the new NetSpend song, and they don't care about you. Because they don't know you. So they just keep walking.
Why is initiating a conversation important?
They're listening to whatever they're listening to in their headphones. Maybe they got a podcast in. Maybe they're tapped into the Zerky show. I don't know. But unfortunately, no one's really going out of their way to say what's up. Regularly, right? But everyone would want it. Most people. There are some people that like their space. You got to respect that, obviously. But if you want to talk to someone, talk to a someone... You gotta be the one. It's gonna be me. You gotta be the one that pulls up and is like, hello. And it might be kind of weird, but if you want to talk to more people, you need to initiate. Zerky, unk, what do I initiate with? This is a great question. The art of noticing.
Every person has a hundred different ways that you can start a conversation with. For me personally, what works is I always try to notice what they're wearing. I love football, soccer. If I see somebody with a soccer or football jersey, if I see they're wearing a jersey, they've got a Holland jersey or a Antony jersey from Man U.
How can I start a conversation with someone?
My inclination is, oh, I can go up to them and, you know, just start talking about ball. Being like, hey, I, you know, compliment. Hey, I like your jersey, bro. You support blank team? Yeah, dude, I do, man. Oh, you watch Premier League? Heck yeah, I do. Same thing goes for artists, musicians, right? If someone's got... a Daft Punk shirt, I'm gonna be like, yo, what up? If someone's got the Dreamville shirt on, I might chop it up with them about J. Cole. I'm gonna be like, do you like Forest Hills Drive? And they will say yes because everyone loves that album because it's goaded. So finding the details in that person. Maybe it's not a good idea to be like, oh, that person has a big nose. So I'm going to go and talk to them about their big nose. That's bold.
Just try to go in with something, you know, a little bit chiller, but just be aware. In my opinion, a lot of interesting people wear cool things. They wear their inspirations and their passions on their sleeve, literally on their chest too. So Notice another great way to talk to people is just, you are in the same situation. Both of you have ordered a $10 latte in East Austin. Great.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the art of talking to strangers?
0:00–2:28
2
Why is initiating a conversation important?
2:28–3:47
3
How can I start a conversation with someone?
3:47–5:09
4
What is the three strike rule in conversations?
5:09–7:43
5
How do I keep a conversation going?
7:43
6
What to do if the other person isn't interested?
5:58–15:10