if you like them, you should tell them

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the zurkie show 13 min 1 speaker 7 chapters transcribed

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Why didn't I say anything?

Host 0:00

Why did I not say anything? It's because I was scared. Have you ever gotten the text that says, hey, let's grab coffee from someone you haven't spoken to in a few months or even a few years? Yeah, I got that the other week. So me and a friend decided to go grab this coffee. And within the first couple of minutes of talking, I'm reminded as to why she's my friend. She's funny. She has an infectious smile. She's just the best. And as the minutes of our conversation turn into hours and we both look at our phones, we kind of have a silent agreement that it's probably time to wrap things up. But I couldn't leave that conversation until I told her the secret. The reason why it was hard for me to keep in touch for the past three years.

Host 0:51

I look to her and I say, I need to tell you something. She looks back at me and she says, what? And I say, I had a big crush on you. Silence. She kind of looks away and looks at me back and she's like, when? And I say immediately throughout high school, I really liked you. I really liked you. We were friends, but I just couldn't get it out of me to tell you. I just, it wasn't the time and place.

What happens when you confess your feelings?

Host 1:18

I don't know. I just couldn't do it. She's looking out the window and she looks back at me and she says, I wish you would have. I say, why? Because I had a crush on you too. Oh my gosh. Generational fumble. Atlanta Hawks at the Super Bowl level fumble. In the end, we laughed about the whole thing. I mean, she has a partner of three years. I have a partner of none. But in the end, I really reflected on that whole situation and I thought, why did I not say anything? It's because I was scared. You should tell him. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Zerky. You just told us that you were scared of saying that you liked this girl. I was. So then if you're scared of something, I mean, doesn't that mean like we shouldn't do that? No. You should.

Is rejection better than regret?

Host 2:19

Because it's easier to deal with the pain of rejection than it is to deal with the pain of regret. rejection is temporary it comes and goes hey i like you i think you are ugly that really hurt my feelings but it is what it is and that probably won't happen but you get what i'm saying versus 10 years later hey i i like you i have a husband and kids whoa that's gonna feel some type of way It's better to just say it. To just tell them. You like somebody. They're in your class. They sit across from you. You guys have chemistry. What are you doing? Not saying something. Well, it might be weird. Yeah, it might be weird. What's weirder though? You seeing them down the line and being like, dang, I should have said something. That's a whole lot weirder.

Host 3:17

Sitting in that coffee shop was weird because I knew I should have said something. And that doesn't just go for relationships too. It goes for friendships. It goes for opportunities. It goes for ideas that you have in your life that you just wish you would have shared, that you would have told someone. When you don't say it, when you don't express how you feel, it bottles up.

How does bottling up feelings affect you?

Host 3:45

And you become bitter. It starts to rot inside of you. Because there's nowhere for it to go. So if you just keep it in, it starts to churn and churn and churn. And that's how people become bitter. There are a lot of people... in this life who didn't do what they wanted to do, who didn't say things that they wanted to say, who didn't tell someone that they had feelings for them while they were still alive. Don't be that person. Rejection sucks. Let's be honest. Nobody wants to hear no. Nobody wants to feel these emotions that they have towards someone. They go up to them and they say, I just don't feel the same way. You feel heartbroken. But that doesn't last the same amount of time as you not saying anything and then being quiet for the rest of your life. You should tell them. There's a friend that you really, really love and you feel like you guys haven't really been talking that often and you miss them. You should tell them that you miss them.

What should you say to someone you miss?

Host 4:57

There's someone that has had such a profound impact on your life. You should tell them that they have had that. There's someone who's been driving you crazy. Jeez, they are just off the rails and you're like, dude, I, I, hey, I need space. You should tell them because sometimes people have no idea and you'd be surprised as to the answers to the questions that come afterwards.