revenge won't fix you

episode

the zurkie show 18 min 1 speaker 7 chapters transcribed

▲ 0

Transcript

jump: chapters · speakers · find in transcript

Transcript

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Why do we feel the need for revenge?

Host 0:00

Did it make you feel bad? Why? Why did it make you feel bad? Is it because there's an ounce of truth to it that you don't want to admit? But there is. They say if you don't have any haters, you're not doing it right. And I agree. Anybody who has been great at anything, they had haters. They had people who said, nah, you're not going to do that. And even people who just try to survive day to day. We have haters. We have people who are silently rooting for us to be mid. And sometimes it really hurts. It hurts when you have someone who's close to you say, you know what? I don't think this is gonna work out for you. Honestly, I'm kind of rooting against it working out for you. So you can be the person that I want you to be in my mind, because I'm not satisfied with who I am.

Host 0:52

And if you go up, then that shows that I'm mid myself. And that creates this perfect storm of wanting to prove someone wrong. wanting to prove that no, it's not true. You want revenge. But do you need revenge? Like, is this like a human need? Do we absolutely need this thing? Or is it just some kind of concept that's been created by the universe, by us, society?

How did personal experiences shape the revenge perspective?

Host 1:30

Well, I needed revenge when I was in ninth grade, my freshman year of high school. I had just broken up with a girl that I really, really liked. And yeah, say what you want. It was a middle school relationship, but I really liked her. And one of my friends one day told me at the lunch table that this girl that I had, you know, separated with on mutual terms, which it's never mutual, but you know, you say, all right, we're not going to date. He said, you know, I was joking to your ex-girlfriend about you two getting back together. And I was like, oh, you know, okay, that's kind of weird. But what did she say? He said, you know, she laughed. She thought it was really funny. And she said she would never get back with you because you are fat and ugly. And I was flabbergasted. Because was I fat enough? You know, I let myself go. Let's just say that. I had an injury. I let myself go. We all do that. But was I ugly? I didn't think so. But at that moment, I believed it. I believed it.

Host 2:42

I was like, well, I mean, damn. I literally, I didn't know really what to think. But obviously somebody who I cared about thinks I'm ugly. I mean, that can't be not true it's got to have some kind of degree of truth and after i had that conversation something clicked in my mind fat and ugly i never want to be called that again i never want to be called that again so i did everything to get revenge. And my revenge looked a little bit different. It looked like getting in shape. It looked like running extra miles. I didn't even know I could run. Eating really good and clean to a point where it was kind of borderline ridiculous. And I was putting my body through a lot of stress as a 15-year-old. In the end, I ended up getting my revenge.

Host 3:44

And I remember what that revenge looked like. It looked like my ex-girlfriend admitting that I had a glow up because I put my head down. I put in that work. But it wasn't until I like grabbed coffee with her and she went down and told me like what she was going through at that period of time. Turns out she wasn't here all the way psychologically and she actually had issues that she was getting professionally helped and she apologized. And at that moment, my, well, revenge, I couldn't help but feel like it was all for nothing.

What can we learn from the desire for revenge?

4:28

Handwerk. Entdecke über 130 Ausbildungsberufe auf handwerk.de.

Host 4:56

And it's not true because those feelings that I felt initially kickstarted my ability to go and like take care of myself, but it became obsessive. It didn't become healthy. It was, I wanted the revenge so bad. I needed the revenge so bad that I was willing to destroy my body for it. I was willing to callous my mind because I wanted to prove a point and listen, It's hard because revenge is the best fuel ever. It is unlimited fuel. When you want to prove someone wrong, you will do everything to make sure it happens. But that fuel, it runs out. Because there comes a certain point where unequivocally you've proven that you've gotten your revenge, that you did it. And that's if you're lucky.