should they really be in your life?
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What happens when someone returns after leaving your life?
So they've come crawling back. Your hunch that that person who broke up with you, who told you, no, you're not a real friend, and they left the group chat, got upset because you were trying to tell them the truth, they finally came back. But in the meantime... They did some questionable things. They talked to some questionable people. They said some very questionable things about you. And now it's a question of not if they're going to be by your side. It's a question of do they deserve to be in your life? And that is a hard question to answer. Well, it's hard... if you make it hard. You get what I mean. They don't deserve you. Or maybe they do. But in this instance, I don't think they do. Your time is very valuable.
You as a human being, you only have so much energy to give other people. You only have so much bandwidth in your beautiful mind to be able to take care of other people. You can barely take care of yourself. How are you expected to deal with people that, quite frankly, just pollute your life? They come and dump toxic waste into your clear waters and then they say, what's wrong? How am I the problem? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's difficult. to notice that. It's difficult to actually acknowledge that maybe somebody who's like a childhood friend or somebody who you love, who is twin flame, they don't actually deserve you. They actually kind of suck. And it is scary because oftentimes these people, they know how to use words against you. They know how to
take a situation, make themselves feel like the victim, yada, yada, yada. Come on. You've been there. But remember this. Because you're ultimately making the decision of if you pay them attention, if you grant them access to your kingdom, that is your life. And I would argue that If you don't think they deserve to be in your life, they shouldn't. They shouldn't. At least in the same way. It's hard. Some of us have toxic family members, which is awesome. In that case, you got to learn to love from a distance. You have to learn how to love somebody when they're in their own life and you're in yours. Maybe once in a while you see each other and it's all good, calm and collect. But they don't deserve you. They don't deserve to be all up in your business. No, thank you. Boundaries.
Set them. It is a very, very weird thing to go from knowing somebody and being like, oh my goodness, this person knows me so well, to suddenly realizing One thing happens that opens your paradigm and you realize this person was never good for me. How did I allow this? Well, sometimes it takes getting hurt in order to learn self-respect. Sometimes it takes having people use us in order to realize, wait a minute, I'm being used. This is not good for me. I'm not happy with this. And with that, we must give ourselves grace. We can't just be like, you know, upset. We have to allow ourselves to acknowledge that we made a mistake. We made a mistake. It's okay. But it's now how we maneuver past that mistake to figure out, okay, like, what are we doing? Are we gonna continue to allow people who don't deserve us into our life? No, let's not do that. Let's not do that. So how do we not do that? Good question. In my opinion, I think A big part of friendships and a big part of knowing when somebody deserves your time is reciprocation.
It is the art of you giving them energy, which if you're not like, bro, stop with the metaphysical. Like, what energy am I giving them? You're talking to them. You're reaching out to them. You are attentive. You listen. When they call you and they FaceTime you, instead of looking at the screen that shows you and looking at like your mog, you're looking at them and you're listening to what they say. And I have friends that when they call me, I'm sorry, I look at myself in the FaceTime. Maybe that is insanely narcissistic, but I just, I think it's funny. It's small, it's like I look weird in it and it's just hilarious to me. Anyways, off topic. You have to ask yourself, is this person reciprocating the same kind of energy? Do they care? Because if you're texting them like seven times a day and they hit you with like one, Oh, haha. Oh, that's funny. I don't, I don't, I don't know. I don't know.
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