the answer is no, unless you ask
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What happens if you don't ask for what you want?
But if you don't ask, the answer is always no. They will forever be no. It's easy to tell somebody, if you want to just talk to somebody, talk to them. If you want to do something, just do it. No Nike. And it's hard to accept that as a piece of advice because it sounds ridiculous. It sounds too easy.
Why is asking important in achieving your dreams?
There should be some kind of complex formula of like, okay, if you want to talk to someone, you need to approach them this way. You need to ask them X, Y, and Z question. I really understood the simplicity of this kind of advice when I had an older gentleman approached me at the gym, which is, you know, people dream of like their gym crush approaching them at the gym. I dream of old people approaching me because they always have the most goaded stories and the best pieces of advice. And this guy approached me and told me, listen, I want to tell you something. I need to tell you something. And I'm like, dude, I don't even know you. Like, all right, but yes, you need to tell me something. So you need to. And he says,
if you ever have some kind of thing, a desire, something you want to do, man, you can't wait for other people to get that for you. And I'm like, dude, yeah. Okay. Is the sky blue? Like, yeah, obviously. He says, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sometimes we think that other people have the keys to our own journey. And I thought he was going to be like, but the truth is no, it's all in your hands. But he says, no, they do. They do. I'm like, all right, bro, you're losing me. I'm on set number three of four in deep squats. I need to finish this because I hate leg day. I want to leave. And he's like, OK, bear with me. I'm going to tell you a story. My lifelong dream was to go and see one of my favorite celebrities car collections. That's all I've ever wanted to do ever.
And I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I never gave up on that dream. I knew that maybe somehow I'd be able to have it, you know, happen to me. And then one day he got a ring from one of his really good friends in Los Angeles. And he said, hey, I'm going to be on the set of your favorite celebrities show. And the guy says, oh, my gosh, no way. And he says, I'd be happy to bring you along, like, come along. You love this guy. You know, you get to meet him. It'd be nice, you know. So I went there. And I knew in the back of my mind, I wanted to ask him one question. I'm like looking at him like, bro, like this is, this is crazy. Like, did you ask him? And he says, I did. I did ask him.
How can we overcome the fear of asking?
I shook his hand and I said, Hey, can I see that car collection of yours? Can I just get a peek at it? Like, you know, is that okay? And before he could respond, I said, you know what? Forget about it. Forget that I asked. Bro, you fumbled so hard. I don't know how you did that. I felt bad for the guy. I really did. I've been there myself. He shot himself in the foot. He literally had an opportunity and he took it away from himself. He pulled up. shot for three, and before the ball could even leave his hands, he just threw it away. He threw it out of bounds. And I remember he looked at me and he said, if you ever want something, don't do what I did. Just ask him. Just ask him. And leave it at that. Don't overcomplicate it.
Don't try to, you know, talk your way out of it. Just ask them and see what they will say. And I couldn't help but feel really compelled by his message because how many times do we really ask somebody something that we want, something that we desire? Not much. We often think that our dreams and our goals are so much further away than they actually are. That's our brain talking.
What lessons can we learn from others' experiences?
We're probably a couple people away from the person that we want to talk to. We're probably a DM away from a relationship. Who knows? Hey, it go down in the DM. It go down. It go down in the DM. But before we're in that position, before we're in front of the person we idolize asking if we could have five minutes of their time to just pick their brain, we don't do it. We don't just ask them.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What happens if you don't ask for what you want?
0:00–0:24
2
Why is asking important in achieving your dreams?
0:24–2:59
3
How can we overcome the fear of asking?
2:59–4:31
4
What lessons can we learn from others' experiences?
4:31–5:24
5
Why is confidence crucial when asking for opportunities?
5:24–7:58
6
How can asking change your job search process?
7:58–8:21
7
What barriers do social norms create in our asking?
8:21–16:16