the truth about situationships
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What is a situationship?
Do I have permission to talk about a situationship? Yes? Let's do it. I was in a situationship once. Twice. Kidding! I'm not that much of a player. Come on. I love having a relationship and You know, getting to know somebody. But a situationship is awesome because it's basically renting a partner. It's basically, you know, having somebody, pretending, you know, cosplaying, roleplaying that of being in a relationship, but you just don't commit to each other because, eh, you don't really like them enough to commit to them. You get what I'm saying? And in this situationship, I... Had a feeling that I wasn't wanted. Which was weird. I never had that feeling. I thought, you know, most of the time when I was with people that I was worthy. And it was a big thing to like fight for the worth of being, you know, wanted. And I don't know, I guess in this one, I really felt like this person maybe thought that me being with them was like a chore. It was like they were reporting for duty. And it made me feel really bad.
How can you recognize if you're in a situationship?
I had questioned them a few times, like, do you even want to be with me? You know what I mean? Like, there's not a lot of intimacy being reciprocated here. And I just, I don't know. I, you know, I really like that. I think it's important. And, you know, every time we talked, we seemed to come out on the other side. And it seemed to be okay. And we seemed to have resolved everything. But I knew deep down that we didn't. Like, I had a feeling that things were off. I had a feeling that I couldn't really trust what this person was telling me. And I didn't listen. And in the end, guess who was right? Me! Me! I was right. Vamos. But it really did reinforce something that I knew all along. And I don't know why I decided in this instance. No, no, no. Listen to your feelings.
Why is listening to your feelings important?
Oh my goodness. Listen to your feelings. And today, I felt like wearing the Daft Punk shirt because last night I had a dream about you. In this dream, I'm dancing right beside you. Song three, Discovery, Digital Love by Daft Punk. If you've never listened to Discovery by Daft Punk, that is your homework from this episode. Listen to your feelings is also your homework. Because there are a lot of people who, I don't know why, they have an intuition and inclination that something is wrong. Something is visibly wrong. And they find logic to back up the fact that, no, no, I'm being too pressing or I'm being too... No! No, you're not. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a difference between making assumptions.
But if you feel that something is off, something is off. Something is off. Do not ignore that. Why would you ignore that? Like something is probably going on and you need to like talk about it like yesterday. And think about any time, you know, you've had something go wrong in like a relationship. You know, there are certain instances where you just get blindsided.
What should you do if something feels off in a relationship?
You get, you know, in the face and you're like, what? But most of the time you can pinpoint when you look backwards. Oh, wait a minute. This person said that this was the, you know, guy I didn't have to worry about. This is the girl I didn't have to worry about. But I worried about them because I saw the vision. I saw what was going on. I'm not stupid. And sometimes we just need to listen to our feelings and know that, okay, that's not normal. That doesn't feel good. Something about this feels very, very wrong. Hey, how you doing? There you go. Taking the walk? Nice, nice. Better safe than sorry. There you go. You listen to your feelings, you know. And there are certain fears I have. I'm scared that I'll be in a relationship and the person will be cheating and I won't know about it and then I'll look like an idiot. But I'm not even afraid of the cheating aspect of the whole thing. I'm more afraid of the optics. And then I had to think to myself, if I'm... getting cheated on, you know, and I don't find out about it. Like, dude, life is life.
Like, you know, eventually they always find out. I promise you that. Okay. You can't, it just always, they always find out. I've never done it, but every friend I have who has, which I don't have many of those, they always, they always somehow find out that it's, and then you're on the phone till like 5am being like, bro, like, I don't know what else to tell you.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is a situationship?
0:00–1:21
2
How can you recognize if you're in a situationship?
1:21–2:30
3
Why is listening to your feelings important?
2:30–3:49
4
What should you do if something feels off in a relationship?
3:49–5:25
5
How can past experiences shape your relationship fears?
5:25–8:26
6
What steps can you take to understand your feelings better?
8:26–11:07
7
How do your feelings influence your actions in relationships?
11:07–14:04
8
What are the consequences of ignoring your feelings?
14:04–23:18