the truth about your friends
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What are the two certainties of life?
I once was talking to an older gentleman at a grocery store and I was just chopping it up with him and I asked him for some life advice and he said you know son I might not be able to give the best life advice because everyone's different but there's two things that are guaranteed in this life that I can definitely tell you and that's for everybody across the board. I look at him kind of puzzled and I say okay lay it on me old man let's hear it. The first one is that we're all gonna die. Memento Mori. We're all gonna die. And I say, okay, well, that's tragic. What's the second one? He looks at me and he says, no matter what you do, you're gonna have to pay those taxes.
What is the third truth about friendships?
But now in reflection, I've realized that there's a third thing that's guaranteed for everyone in this life. Friend groups mean drama. I mean, come on, do I even need to explain this? I do. Friend groups will always dissolve and they'll go out with a bang. In my experience, every time I've had a friend group, whether that was in high school, in college, even my adult life, they've all just exploded. And it's been kind of interesting because the more you go through this process, the quicker you're able to spot when things are about to hit the fan.
Why do friend groups often dissolve?
Funny enough, I think the main reason that a lot of friend groups actually get dissipated is because of how they start. Friend groups have hierarchy. No matter what happens, no matter who you surround yourself with, if you're in a friend group and there are other people brought in from different corners of the friend world, right? There will always be a hierarchy.
How does hierarchy affect friendships?
There will always be someone who will be jealous of another person. And that's just human nature. We kind of live in a hierarchy structure, don't we? And we just replicate it on a smaller scale. It's kind of funny when you think about it, but... It begs the question of, well, okay, well, if a friend group is going to, you know, happen for me, how do I stay safe? Don't be in the friend group.
Can you enjoy friendships while being cautious?
No, I'm kidding. Obviously be in the friend group. Have your fun. Sometimes having a friend group is actually super fun. You get to go on trips together. You get to go run around Target together. You go to a football game in high school together. I don't know. You just do stuff. And having those people that you collectively do stuff with is actually really awesome. I've had some of the best memories from my teenage years just chilling with my friends who were in my friend group. but something happens when you hit like 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, where you start having feelings towards people in the friend group. And you think you're the only one that's having these kinds of feelings towards, you know, that one guy or that one girl or whoever.
What happens when romantic feelings arise in friend groups?
And it turns out everyone in the friend group is actually madly crushing on everyone else. And that is the end. Once the friend group starts, you know what? Hooking up. It's game over. It will destruct like a bomb. It's on some Oppenheimer, you know, weapons of mass destruction vibes. And the Fallout. The Fallout is nothing compared to that of New Vegas or Fallout 3. Or 4. Because Fallout 4 was pretty good too. So how do you avoid the friend group trap? Because they're all just drama. And you want to live a drama-free life. I'm living drama-free right now. No drama in sight. You have groups of friends. That's the key. What's the difference? What's the difference between a friend group and a group of friends?
Groups of friends are people that you meet, that you have one-on-one friendships with, and you vet them out. They're great. You love them. You guys have a deeper connection than just like being in the same circle. You guys know each other. And then you bring people together. And they don't have to all pretend like they like each other. They don't even have to interact with But a group of friends, they all respect you. And because they respect you, hopefully they will all respect each other. And there's no climb. There's no, ah, I need to be the one that's the, you know, I got to get next to group leader in the TikTok Riz party. There's none of that. It's just you and people that you love to spend time with. I learned this going into college.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What are the two certainties of life?
0:00–0:40
2
What is the third truth about friendships?
0:40–1:23
3
Why do friend groups often dissolve?
1:23–1:45
4
How does hierarchy affect friendships?
1:45–2:10
5
Can you enjoy friendships while being cautious?
2:10–2:55
6
What happens when romantic feelings arise in friend groups?
2:55–6:36