they moved on, now it’s your turn
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What does it mean to lose yourself in a relationship?
I've been in so many relationships where I lost myself in the other person. I didn't even know who I was or what I stood for because I was such a pushover and I just said yes to everything the other person told me. I had no sense of self, no sense of direction. And think about it, when you're with somebody and then all of a sudden that other half of you is gone, you kind of got to fill up the other half. I'm sure some of us have felt this weird concoction of sadness, despair, trying to figure out how you actually spend time again because most of it has been spent with the other person. It's just, it's a weird feeling. But what hurts even more than some of these emotions that you feel immediately after a breakup, this time that you're trying to navigate, is a dark realization. And I think a lot of us have had that realization when we open up our phones and on someone's story, we see the hoodie, we see the hand, we see the forehead of someone else. And we realize something sad but true. You were a blip.
You were a blip. An afterthought. You were one of many. And the person that you had this feeling of, why did you betray me? Why did you cheat on me? Why couldn't have this worked? They've moved on. Or at least it seems like they did. Maybe they're trying to rebound. Maybe they're trying to make you jealous. Maybe they're gonna come crawling back saying, please, please, please, on some Sabrina Carpenter. Or maybe they've just genuinely moved on. This happened to me a few times. I felt like the emotions I was going through, well, like, they weren't being validated by the other person. But the truth is, that's not their job. It's not their job at all. Everyone has different paces of moving on and some of us move on quicker than others. For some people you were just a blip. You were just a blip. You were one of many. But that shouldn't change the fact that maybe that person was one of a few. And they mattered to you. And those emotions are okay. Getting over a breakup is hard. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. It's draining.
Because you have to keep thinking about them. You do every time you open your photos app. Anytime your friend asks you, hey, how are they? And you have to say, we're not together anymore. It's weird. It's weird. It's so weird. And the way that you feel in a breakup is valid. It's okay to feel those kind of emotions, especially real talk when the other person has moved on. That's happened a few times for me. The other person is doing just fine. I'm the one who's taking the time and having to really reflect on things. And that's really what it is. After a relationship, you're going to reflect. You're going to think about the relationship. You're going to unpack the things that happened because sometimes you need those rose-tinted glasses to be shattered in front of you. Somebody to step on them. To realize, dang, this person really wasn't good for me. This person really was bad. They were bad. They were controlling. They didn't like me for me.
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Or maybe this person was really good for me. Maybe I messed up bad because I decided, you know what? They're never gonna find out that I'm talking to my ex of a couple of years. They're not gonna find that out. They will, they always will. Maybe you messed up. Maybe that person was really good for you. Maybe it was the right person the wrong time. Or it was the right time and the wrong person But if you were just a blip and you feel as if, what the heck? This person shouldn't be moving on. They should still think about me. You have to understand that's a selfish thought. And the best thing you can do in a breakup, the best thing you can do when you're no longer together is let go. let go you have to just let it go let the other person go if you love me let me go real talk I felt tempted in the past to pocket watch my ex to feel some type of way when they were going forward with their life and they were doing the things that are good for them That was less time that I had to focus on my own self, to focus on how I felt.
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