what if you stopped caring so much?
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What would life be like if I stopped caring?
What would my life be like if I didn't give a frig a freak F-U-C-K. Such a beautiful word. But sadly, we give it out like we're a charity every single day. You walk down the street, you see a guy that is looks maxing, famously looks maxing. You look at him and you're like, man, this guy is mogging me right now. He's the jawline that could cut through 20 apples at Whole Foods.
What is the role of self-love in personal improvement?
And me, I'm just not good looking enough because I haven't been on my diet. I haven't been eating right. Bro, it's not true. Self-love is such a weird thing, such a weird thing to understand as a man. What is self-love? Because I hate everything about me. Rewind that. I feel like I need to hate everything about me because how will I improve if I don't? Oh, that's the problem. That's the problem. Everything we've been taught to make progress, I feel like, is rooted in hating yourself. It's rooted in this feeling of like, I'm not good. I'm not worthy enough. Think of your whys about for a lot of your life. Why did you get into going to the gym? It's because you thought you were ugly.
Is self-hate necessary for motivation?
It's because the girl that you wanted to impress looked at you and thought you were a twig or said you were too fat. The reason I started working out was because my girlfriend in my freshman year of high school that broke up with me, that was the popular cheerleader, she told everyone I was fat and ugly and that she would never get back with me. And you know what I did? I went right into the gym and I burned every gallery off my body. And guess where it got me? Back to this. Daddy bod. So you're fucked, bod. You're fucked. But okay, let's actually unpack that because I think it's important. A lot of our self-improvement is rooted in the deep nature of hating what you see and trying to make something good. I don't think that's a bad thing.
How do negative experiences fuel self-improvement?
You need to burn, you got to burn some kind of fuel. And hey, if your fuel is that your Tinder date stood you up or your Grindr date stood you up or your Hinge date stood you up or whatever, frig it, bro. Like, use that fuel. I'm not telling you not to. You know, hey, if you got the fuel, use it. But then when you use the fuel and you get to a certain point in your life, you're looking back at it and you're just like, damn. What do I do? Where's the good fuel? I've burned the 87, you know, the 87 fuel. Like, I want some premium. I want some good fuel. And you don't really know what that is. And I'm at the point now where it's like. I had to start looking for good fuel. And that's hard.
What does it mean to find positive motivation?
It's not as easy because when you have a negative motive, it is so easy to shut off your feelings and be like, this woman made me feel this way or this person made me feel this way. I'm going to make sure I never feel like that again. And literally like two years later, you're going to feel like that again. So spoiler alert. That's what happens. A lot of our improvement of who we are is rooted in negativity. And that's okay. You should burn off that fuel. But I'm just telling you, you also got to find a way to love yourself for it. Maybe a way of doing that is when you've reached a certain position, you acknowledge it. You don't say, oh, I could be better. In my personal life, I just released a great video with a brand. And
I should be so proud of myself. Regardless of what it does, I should be, and I am. This is the problem. It actually takes intention to get emotions out of you and be like, well, I actually do feel proud about this. But on the surface, I'm like, well, it doesn't have X amount of views, so I'm a failure. I failed. And I suck. And no one will love me. No one will respect me because I'm a failure, which isn't true. It's not true. It's all here. This is your best friend and worst enemy right here telling you, you know, you suck. You suck, dude. You didn't do it. You suck.
How can talking to strangers benefit you?
So, frankly, you know, what does it mean to have self-love? What does it mean to love somebody else? I don't know. Let's not even get into that because I ain't good with love yet. I'm working on it. But you know what is good? I'll tell you guys something. I'm a big fan, famously, of talking to strangers. I love talking to strangers. Anybody and everybody. I'll put you on game.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What would life be like if I stopped caring?
0:00–0:31
2
What is the role of self-love in personal improvement?
0:31–1:35
3
Is self-hate necessary for motivation?
1:35–2:29
4
How do negative experiences fuel self-improvement?
2:29–3:14
5
What does it mean to find positive motivation?
3:14–4:56
6
How can talking to strangers benefit you?
4:56–6:02
7
What lessons can be learned from conversations with strangers?
6:02–12:29