your ex isn’t what you need
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Why is it so bad to get back with your ex?
Why is it so bad to get back with your ex? What's the big deal? Dude, I'm laying at home. It's Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, and I'm laying there. It's a cold bed. I just want a little company. What is so wrong with that? So you hit up your ex boo thing. You slide in the Snapchat DMs and you write H E Y. And then a couple hours later, You realize you've made a mistake as the person that you remember as this fun, jolly, great person that made you feel so many emotions suddenly is in your presence and you realize, oh, I know why I broke up with them. I really don't like this person. And we've gotten back together. Rip. Genuinely rip. Rip.
What should you ask yourself before reconnecting?
The next time you have an urge to give in to some instant gratification, to get back with somebody, and it doesn't have to be a relationship, it could be a friendship. It could be somebody who you know is terrible for you and they're not reciprocating any of your feelings, they don't care about you, but you missed them. I want you to ask yourself this question. Is it worth it? Because, spoiler alert, most times it's not. It's not. Most times we remember the good. We remember, ah, well, it was so nice to have this person next to us. We remember the feeling, not of them, but of the company they provided. And in reality, the minute we hang out with them, we say, oh my gosh, I made a mistake. Literally, you go like the Joker or something. Because we've made a mistake.
We've made a really bad lapse in our judgment by deciding, oh, we're going to bring this person back in. The next time you entertain the idea of getting back with that ex who cheated on you, who manipulated you, just ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it worth it? And try to remember not the fact that, oh, well, but they were there when I felt sad. What about the minute they cheated on you and you had to find out through Snapchat because you saw them cuddled up to somebody and the hoodie was not yours. It was somebody else's hoodie. And you were like, what is going on here? That is my girlfriend. Why are they next to that person? Maybe let's remember that. Because people don't change, man. some do and it takes everything in them to do so and hey some people they cheat and they realize you know what that wasn't a good move that was really bad i'm sorry of course but if you're thinking about going back to something that made you feel a type of way Is it worth it? Is it worth it?
All I am asking is for you to genuinely ask yourself, is the potential downside of this situation, of this person's ego attitude, the fact that they willingly don't text you back for hours to make you feel like you did something wrong and then they say, hey, as if nothing happened, is that worth it? Is that really worth it? Because what a lot of us don't understand is we are accustomed to the love that we experience. We only understand our veil of judgment. So if there's something that is better for us out there and we haven't experienced it, we don't know. It's not our fault. We have no idea.
How do past experiences influence our judgments?
So, of course, you're going to want to go back to something you feel comfortable in and you know it takes so much to stick by your gut and be like, no, this is not good. This person is bad news. I don't want to be with this person. Hell nah. Famously hell nah. But in my life, I've gone back with people. I have. I have. I have. And I get it. I get it because sometimes you think that what you have with somebody that in all honesty isn't good for you is all you can get. It's all that you can deserve. Sometimes you feel like that's the litmus test for a partner is that really toxic, abusive relationship that you had. I'm not going to sit here and act like, oh no, no, you're strong. Like sometimes we have no idea what's good for us because we haven't experienced something that's good for us. So how do we even have anything to compare it to? And man, certain relationships that are unhealthy, they give us that dopamine that a healthy relationship sometimes doesn't. And it really makes you think because toxicity is addictive. It is. It's a rush.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Why is it so bad to get back with your ex?
0:00–0:55
2
What should you ask yourself before reconnecting?
0:55–4:07
3
How do past experiences influence our judgments?
4:07–5:41
4
Can toxic relationships feel addictive?
5:41–8:48
5
What are the consequences of ignoring your intuition?
8:48–10:07
6
How to reflect on your relationship decisions?
10:07–17:17