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Chapter 1: What are Liz's feelings after her big party on The Real Housewives of Rhode Island?
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is none other than Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are ya?
Fuck you, how dare you, how dare you. Welcome to Rhode Island, bitch.
Yeah, a snake and a troll. I don't like snakes and trolls. You know what? I love you. I love you.
He has a pizza chip. Have a pizza chip. The pizza chip.
I can't wait to get to the pizza chip portion of this. I'm so excited. Really excited about this pizza chip situation. Welcome everyone to Watch What Crappens. We are here today to talk Real Housewives of Rhode Island. And we have our beautiful Patreon that you should come join us for.
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Chapter 2: What sparked the feud between Alicia and Rosie?
Patreon.com slash Watch What Crappens. We have bonus episodes, a free newsletter that just went up. We have ad-free listening. It's just like anything you could literally ever want in life. It's all there. All the answers to all your questions in life. are just on our Patreon. So come join. Also, if you listen to this in time, we have crappy hour tonight. That's at five 30 on the West coast.
And every Monday we do Amazon live. We go on at one 30 and we talk about cool things that we bought recently that we want to recommend to you. So you should really come listen because we have a lot of fun on there. Hawking different wares. It's, it's, it's a real delight. That is it. Let's talk about Rhode Island. I love this episode.
Actually, I, you know, I, I haven't been quite at the same level of enthusiasm as a lot of people on Rhode Island have been. That's not a negative.
Chapter 3: How do the hosts feel about the new cast dynamics?
I've been really enjoying it, but like people have been like, Oh my God, this show is amazing. But like for me, it's been a little bit more of a slow burn. But I feel like the show is really starting to come together. I'm feeling like the cast is starting to gel nicely. And I was just like cracking up through so much of this. So I was a fan. I was a fan. What did you think?
I think the aunties need the show. The aunties need to be on the show. That's the show for me. Every time they're on, I'm like, this is it. This is the show. I like the show. I think it's pretty good. I'm still very confused about what's going on through a lot of it, but I've started to Google, and then I've realized I'm confused because they're all in the mafia.
And that's why they're not able to talk about anything. So that made it more fun. I mean, I kind of knew there were mafia rumors, but I didn't realize it was like the, the cast, the cast is it's like mob wives. It's like a new mob wives, which I kind of like.
Chapter 4: What is the significance of the 'pizza chip' in this episode?
Yeah. This is like the first time I've been scared to recap a show. Cause I'm like, if I say the wrong thing about, do you know, I could literally get killed. Well, like it's, it's like, it might happen. It might. It's if I get, if I get murdered, you guys just know, you guys know where to look.
I've always had a feeling I'm going to get taken out by someone I'm talking shit about on this podcast. And I would much prefer it to be someone like Kyle Richards, you know, like just make someone that crazy that they finally kill you or whatever. So I wouldn't be psyched if it was Dino. But I would figure, I mean, I knew this was coming.
Like when I saw that gun being pointed at me, I'd be like, oh, God, really? In a Sbarro? I know. You know, God.
That's how I'm going. I'm with you. If I'm going to get murdered by someone that I talk about in one of these shows, I want it to be high profile. I want it to be like a rageful Tamra judge. Headlines for a year. But if it's Dino, it'll be like an oddly enough a local Rhode Island man killed
Chapter 5: How does Rula's relationship with her husband affect the group?
podcaster i'm like oh i don't want to be yeah i want a bigger story yeah totally i want a much bigger story so um we start with um alicia she's with her husband bill at uh pizza baba and she's like going to the beach so i want to get some pizza you know so just say you know i think we should talk about maybe doing like red t-shirts and black t-shirts you know right because like white gets dirty right girls and the girls behind the register like oh yeah oh my god yeah white gets dirty so easily you're so smart alicia you deserve half of this business
Yeah. This was like her Shark Tank moment when they're like, look at her. Look at her innovations.
This is what I give to my husband's business. White shirts get dirty.
But that being said, I will always remember, dare I invoke this, I was a big Apprentice fan back in the day. And I remember one time they had a challenge, like a hotel challenge. And they had to redesign chef uniforms. And I remember Ivanka Trump one time as the... you know, judicious consultant to her father was like, why did you change? Why did you decide not to use white as the fabric?
Because the reason why we use white for these sort of things is that they bleach really easily. And so you can clean them and get the stains out like a breeze. And I remember at that time thinking that Ivanka Trump is so smart. Like, I can't believe Ivanka thought of that. It's amazing. She is so bright.
Meanwhile, there's probably a producer in your saying, Ivanka, could you please bring up this point and telling her what to say? either way i've always remembered ivanka trump saying that with these sort of things white is actually the better fabric because you can bleach it and clean it very easily
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Chapter 6: What insights do the hosts share about family dynamics?
And isn't that crazy? And then all these years later, her father is still saying, why does better? Why does better? Every second he gets the chance. He really took it to heart. He really did. Yeah, I remember those days back when you had like Ivanka posters in your room and stuff.
I loved Ivanka back then. You loved her. Before I knew what was going to happen.
That was right when car wrapping came out and you had your Toyota wrapped with like an Ivanka face. Number one Ivanka fan.
But the irony, though, is that we've seen plenty of chefs wearing... Used to be like, hey, I made some cookies.
Ivanka cookie? I'm like, okay. All right. It's getting to be a little bit much, Ben. Reel it in. It was too much.
Too much.
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Chapter 7: What role does humor play in the discussions about relationships?
Yeah, but anyway, I'm sorry to evoke Ivanka, but let's be honest. We know where Alicia voted, so she's probably very happy about this. So anyway, she's innovating at the Pizza Mama. And then we go to Rula's house. Rula. Rula's putting out a chair in the backyard. She's like, it's really fun watching you guys work. And she's talking to her kids because the kids are, like, asking for some money.
Yeah, like, you owe me 50 bucks for doing work, Mama. You owe me 50 bucks.
So, uh... Oh, go ahead.
I was going to say, one kid is like, I get 92, 2,000 million and 100 dollars.
which is considered a real monetary amount on this show, I think. Well, what can you do? She deserves $90,002,045. That's a real number.
Bill's like, yeah, get this cleaned up. My mistress is coming over later to take a picture by that banister. Get it dusted. We'll talk about this in crappy hour, but that shit was crazy.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts reflect on their experiences with the cast?
So after the episode last week, it came out that the mistress posted a picture on her Instagram of herself at Rula's house in front of the banister with the same neighbor in back. So it was very obviously her house. Like she did it on purpose to out herself as the mistress. And then Bill sued her because apparently he had her sign an NDA when he started fucking her. I mean, that is a slime ball.
I mean, if your husband is putting that much thought into having an affair, that's crazy. He's like, all right, I'm going to fuck you to us, but first on this NDA. So he's suing her for breaking the NDA. Stick around. Very classy guy. Super classy.
This guy is garbage. There's no one more appropriate to put their foot in their mouth than a podiatrist. Give me another program shot on that one. There we go.
Let's go to Ellen's house. So Ellen is packing because she's going for a work trip. She's like, Gare, I'm going to need help bringing my suitcase down. I'm just trying to think of everything I need because I'm a little nervous about this trip. I love working. I love working. I'm going to Chicago. It's my mid-year sales. Honestly, when I'm on my work trips, it's not that relaxing.
Like, it's nonstop, back to back. I like working. I could stay at home. You know, chores are not for me. I can go to sleep with dishes in the sink. There, I said it. I said it.
It's like, okay, it was like a whirlwind Joellen monologue about chores and we're out of the scene already. And now we go to Liz's house. Liz is wearing some crazy bathing suit top thing or whatever, where it's like, it just was like comes into the, it's like a, it's like a weird, like it's like an isthmus of fabric across her stomach.
Liz's fashion is amazing on this show. It's great. It's so tacky. It's her. The fashion ones to just laugh at every week are her and Rosie. Rosie looks insane. I don't even know what the fuck she's wearing. But Liz, like in one, she has a snake and it's not just like a diamond snake. It's like a huge stuffed diamond snake that's like coming off of her shirt and about to eat her face.
Then she's wearing one, the flowery dress that she wears looks like one of those things when you get on a roller coaster and you pull down the bars and it's like, It's like that, but it's all flowers. I mean, they dress so crazy on this show. It cracks me up.
Rosie looks like someone who was on a shipwreck and washed up on a remote island. And the locals who saved her, she had to tell them that she was a rhythmic gymnast in order for them not to persecute her. And so then they were so excited that they sewed her outfits for their local rhythmic gymnastics competitions.
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