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Chapter 1: What happens when Zach loses his Monster fridge?
Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
Crap!
Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed. It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
So now Kristen comes and she's like, Where should I sit? So Brandon's like, I'll move. So he gets, he moves. So, um, so then, um, He's like, well, listen, she goes, when are you coming next week? And he said, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And I'll leave like my new show. I thought you were here Wednesday. He's like, well, we've talked about this like five times, Brittany.
I'm coming up Friday morning.
She's like, well, no, that's not what you said. You're not even going to be here Thursday now. Why is that?
Because I got stuff to do. I've got a whole bunch of.
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Chapter 2: How does Nia justify her marriage to Danny?
nothing to take care of because the nothing date due date is due yeah i'm sure it's not a job i'm sure this man is dating britney so i can pretty much guarantee you it's not work he's going to it's his other it's his other family so he's she's like like what i thought you were helping me he's like i am he's like this is your first fight oh my god and so uh she's like well the doctor said the prescription should be ready did i have my d yeah he's like yeah it's like okay appreciate you
The only thing that I've been saying all day is that if I had to get my pills because I only have one left, I'm like, I could not make it throughout the night.
You can't boast me such shit.
Trust me, I've tried. I did wonder why she waited until she had only one pill left.
That's what I'm saying. I mean, this guy's obviously a loser, but like...
And then, then she goes, she says, and since he taken off work, which I can't believe I did this, but he asked if I could give him money.
And I was like, you know what? You're going to come down and take care of me. So I don't, I don't care to give you some money. But then he kept delaying the days and didn't even get the pain medication. He brought me, he bought me flowers, the money I gave him and the extra filing on.
I was like, oh God, this is where I was saying it gets worse for Brittany. So you needed someone to take care of you. And he said, sure. If you pay me.
that's who you're dating because he's taking time off the applebee's girl yeah taking time off of work and then he actually winds up going to work anyway and then he's double dipping yeah and then getting you some trader joe's flowers that happen to match your shorts perfectly by the way what a douche yeah so um she's like kristen's like yo it's like the eggs are piling on i'ma marry him
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Chapter 3: What team does Jesse create for the men on the show?
Seriously. Nonstop.
If I didn't know better, I'd think this show was promoting communism. There's so many red flags around here. Good Lord.
So Nia is like, so now Nia and Danny are on date night at a place called Wife and the Psalm.
And so Nia's like, oh. What a gross name for a restaurant. Wife and the Psalm. They probably have a whole shtick.
Like, well, I'm the chef and he's the sommelier and we just sort of did this.
But isn't that so Nia to pick a restaurant that starts with wife and the psalm?
To be fair, they probably thought it was wife and the psalm spelled P-S-A-L-M.
Sounds like it matches us.
Wife in the psalm in parentheses. The husband should read it to her because women aren't allowed to read parentheses. So they've of course brought this baby. Listen, I think at some point you just babies need to just be left in their crib. I don't care if that baby is attached to your boob. Adelaide needs to just learn to do things on her own.
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Chapter 4: Why does Brittany feel unsupported by her friends?
I am obviously not a mom. I know nothing about this. I don't know what it is, but, um, so it's, I can't weigh in, but it seems like a lot of, I have to say a lot of people online are like, what's going on here?
Yeah, I mean, I don't know how that works, latching and babies and this and that. But it's like I said in the first episode, a baby who will eat is a baby that's starving. So just, I said, skip a couple lunches and we'll see if she latches.
That's what people online have been saying, honestly. Really? There have been some people who've said like, yeah, you know, I had a child that would not take the bottle and it drove me nuts. And my mom...
complain it was like what's wrong with you like how do you not have your baby on a bottle yet look i'll do it i'll do it and then she said her mom had the baby for like two days like okay i give up you're right so like obviously it's difficult but yeah i think it's notorious but listen take it from a giant baby who left his glp-1s in la
will latch on to a tit at this point i'm starving i guess i will eat okay what's crazy is in this scene like nia puts the baby in danny's baby bjorn and then he's standing up at the table and he's bouncing around i was like i just feel like i've never seen a couple like i've seen production with their baby i've seen a couple do this i've seen couples do this with their first baby but not their tenths
you know, at some point it's like, just lay there and go to bed. It's supposed to get easier, you know, for people who say we're being insensitive to the plate. We don't care.
Yeah. So, uh, no, no, uh, we, we kind of are, but obviously we care on like a human level. Like if we were hanging out and you were telling us like, Oh my God, like I can't get my baby on the bottle. I'd be like, Yeah, I wouldn't say that to you. We would be like, oh my God, that's terrible. Why have you tried this? I would be present and I would actually be fully there.
But like watching it on TV, it's like actually much less interesting to me.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look, I don't, I'm not dissing her. I'm just saying like at some point, like when does this, when did, when do you just tell the baby? Take my tit or get nothing. You know, that's it.
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Chapter 5: What does Zach plan for his housewarming party?
Take my tit or get nothing. Yeah, I'm leaving you home with a fair life.
Yeah, I think it's more like take the bottle or get nothing. The baby is like, yes. Oh, yeah, take the bottle.
Well, no, it won't latch. Yeah, you're right. But it won't always latch either. But you're right. It won't latch to the bottle, but sometimes it won't latch to her boobies. I don't know. It's a whole thing. I fucking hate this show making me talk about tit latching for an hour.
All I've got to say is this baby is becoming very high maintenance.
It is. But I will say this for the baby. That is one cute baby. Adelaide, you are adorable. What a little sweet baby. You're a cute little baby. I'm sorry your parents are so annoying.
Yeah. So they get there and Nia's like, Daniel, I would love for you to wear her. And he's like, and he does not want to do this, but he, at this point, he's aware that he was not great on the cast trip.
So he's like clenching his teeth and he's like, sure, sure. He's doing this whole scene. He's doing the best daddy and husband in the world scene.
Like, Hey, look at us. Why from the song? Am I right?
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Chapter 6: How do the characters react to Danny's drinking?
Oh yes. I'm a daddy. I love baby strapping on. We go. I love nothing more than being with my baby and my wife. Yeah. Oh, I'm a good daddy. Want to have another one? Want to have another one?
Yeah, but he is clearly not feeling this. And then Adelaide spits up on him, which, you know, good for Adelaide. Good for you. Adelaide's like, well, as long as I am being brought to the restaurant, let me do some good work. Yeah. Let me speak for America right now. Yeah. And then he then Danny is like grossed out. And he goes, Adelaide spits up.
and then you know nia's like oh no like she spit up let me clean her okay bouncer and then danny's like it's all over the chair nia well wipe it up you're the adult come on now wipe it up so the producer asked what's grosser poop or throw up and he's like throw up i gotta whiff it throw up and immediately i want to throw it's because you're drunk
So Nia's like, well, some people don't like the baby stage, but I could cry about thinking it over and never having another baby ever again.
I think that's part of this, too, is Nia really... Yeah, I think that that is a real thing, you know, where people... worry about. Like, what am I going to do without a baby? She's had a baby every year for how many years or every couple of years for so many years. That's a huge thing to think about. And I think she's just like, I'm going to keep this baby with me. I don't care.
I'm going to keep this. I'll go swimming in the ocean. This baby will be strapped to my back.
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Chapter 7: What are the dynamics between Kristen and Nia?
Yeah, listen, I remember Dee Dee Blanchard, you know? Remember? Was she on He-Man?
No, wasn't she the one? Remember Gypsy Rose Blanchard? Yeah.
Was that the mom? Yeah. She's like, Adelaide's in a wheelchair today, everybody. She's having trouble breathing. She's allergic to formula. Wait a minute. Why are you putting a respirator on Adelaide?
She needs it.
Now we're really going to get in trouble comparing me to D.G. Blanchard. My fault.
Sorry.
The very beginning, Yolanda is going to show up.
How dare you accuse me of having Munchausen by proxies?
No, I'm going to get a fiery email being like, Ben, I have listened to the show for so many years. How dare you? And how dare you? A baby not taking to the bottle is a real thing. It's a real pressure and it's very stressful.
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Chapter 8: How does Brittany handle her engagement party preparations?
And he's like, so you're telling me there's another chance? I got a chance. You're saying there's a chance, right?
Settle down, Dumb and Dumber.
Four under four. How about one more? Yeah.
In this case, he was actually talking about a cocktail. Sorry. Now we go to Zach and Jasmine. They meet Jesse at the 4100 Bar. Geez, I've not been there in like 20 years. Remember the 4100 Bar? Yes, of course. What's so wrong with that? You've never been to the 4100 Bar? Of course, 4,100. Of course, of course. Your aunt Estelle and I would go there all the time.
I know. I didn't know it was a place that people still went to. I didn't know it was still there. I didn't either. But how would I really? We're not 4,100 bar gays, apparently. Yeah, we're definitely not. So they go in. Jessie's like, we're not in Kansas anymore. She's like, I know. Thank you for coming all this way. Zach's like, oh, my God. Is this like your Silver Lake outfit?
So then Zach's like, I am, like, so stressed, like, today was, like, terrible, my roommate basically fought me, and I was like, you're gonna be, like, you told me you were gonna move out by October 1st, and now it's, like, October 2nd, and he starts, like, taking, like, everything, and, like, all of a sudden, I'm like, wait, no, that's mine, like, what are you doing?
So then we get this huge fight in front of, like, his movers, and I finally was just like, okay, this is never gonna end, and I was just like, fuck it, I'm done, get it all out. Zach. when are you going to publicly shame your, your roommate? Like put that photo on social media.
Let's say his name and also get a stun gun. You're like, you shouldn't, someone shouldn't just become, be able to come a lot, take all your shit. Some roommate can't just take all your shit. I mean, I've had so many roommates. I would never, this is like a judge Judy situation. And I would love to see Zach on judge Judy. That would be wonderful.
So, Jesse's like, okay, well, you're all caviar and champagne. Let's talk about the housewarming party. He's like, oh, my God. Like, now I just have foldable chairs for my house. So, I'm sure, let's be honest, it probably wasn't that much of an improvement. Yeah, yeah. Or that much of a downgrade, I should say.
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