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Chapter 1: What is the main topic of the McBee Dynasty Halloween episode?
Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
Crap!
Crap!
Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Is, a podcast about all the crap on Bravo we'd love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the glorious and wonderful Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Hi, what you doing? just hanging out with you. We're here today to recap the McBee dynasty.
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uh that being said let's get into mcbee dynasty and let's also like actually have a moment of silence for um ladies of london which has been officially put on pause after its like return season that was so tremendous i believe it was the best show that bravo has put on this year and i think it's like a true travesty that this show is on pause and also that Miami is on pause.
I don't know what's going on over there. I know ratings are an issue, but like, let's also like, can we focus on shows that are great too? And like, even though they have low ratings, I know it's a business, but come on, come on. This is ridiculous.
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Chapter 2: How does Galena react to Masha's presence at the Halloween party?
But I like genuinely hate this show. And, like, the fact that it's, like, just on and, like, they just ā it's just ā while Miami and Ladies of London are just on the bench is such an injustice. It's just not right, everyone. It is not right.
It's a stand-up vote. Go watch Ladies of London on streaming. Do whatever you can. Make a change. I love that. Come on, everyone. Make a change. I'm bummed. But, you know, Frances, who heads up programming over there, was giving an interview where she was saying, you know, we're going towards we found success with things like McBee Dynasty and, you know, that sort of audience.
And which is why they're doing their like ladies of Bernie or whatever, you know, which is coming up. Which I get, you know, and I'm a Texan. That sounds really fun to me. I think it's probably going to be a good show. But then you're casting Aaron Grease in that show, who is so vile and racist on Big Brother. They literally had to change how they do things on Big Brother because of her.
And that's what you're bringing back? Like, come on.
Yeah, it's not fair. It's not fair. But as long as McBee Dynasty is here... You know, why not tear it apart, right? So here we are.
Oh, yeah. I enjoy McBee dynasty. I think it's funny. And the reason is Galena. And to a lesser extent, Masha. And this episode is season three, episode two, Night of the Living Russians, which, yes, I'm in. Finally, we get to see Galena with her shovel, which is really all I've been asking for.
She does good work with a tool. So it's three days since the sentencing of Stephen McBee Jr. I don't know why we have to keep on tracking it. He got sentenced. It's okay. We don't need to keep that timer up.
The whole not having Daddy McBee on the show is a problem. And I think that they're maybe doing it for legal reasons. I mean, I don't know. On his end, he probably doesn't want to get himself in any more trouble than he's already in, but
just talking about him over and over and having him be this invisible character but we're going to his house to bring him stuff and it's just weird he needs to be on this show that disgusting man needs to be on this show it's kind of the point of the show you know well yeah i mean like if he's not going to be on the show then we don't need constant updates on like when he's going to jail like it's fine but it affects me and our entire family how dare you
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Chapter 3: What shocking news does Stephen share about his relationship with Allie?
And like, as far as dating, we're both kind of like zero to 100. Like we had an insane emotional connection on Instagram. Like he would send a gift and I would send a gift. And I was like, oh my God, soulmates. And I was like, dear God, I hope that the physical is there too. And it was the best two pumps of my life. You know, that's what I will say. Best 20 seconds of my life.
Steven, man, 20 seconds. Damn. Um, so now, uh, Allie is showing Steve in a bottle and she's like, uh, he says, oh, those are oyster pills. You know what those do? That's what it's called when it makes you want to have sex, an aphrodisiac or something. And she's like, oh, I think naturally I have that when it comes to you. I don't even need any oyster pills. All I really need is these cameras.
So keep them rolling, boys.
Steven tells us.
It is so nice, Allie. It's different. It's not what I'm used to. I mean, for once, I finally get to be with a blonde girl with big tits and a lot of makeup on her face. God, so nice attracting things.
Finally, I can be with someone who looks exactly like my mother that I can have sex with that'll pretend she is interested in oyster pits.
I know. I mean, like, talk about Erin Grease. I mean, this girl looks just like her. It's kind of wild. There really is a type. So Steven is like, there's so much going on in our lives, and I'm just trying to be present, Ellie.
And I promise you, I am trying.
so um he's like at least it's not the other blonde that we don't know from this show that i brought onto this show i mean this whole episode is like trying to villainize kala i mean team kala still like i wish kala was here to tell you idiots off that's what the season is missing i mean she'll be here they will ship her in at some point that's what they did all last season they have to be like remember this girl
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Chapter 4: What drama unfolds when Masha confronts Galena at the party?
You're already meeting the family. You've been here five minutes.
I love that this whole stupid scene is taking place at a fulfillment center because I'm going to tell you this right now. There's no fulfillment happening here. I hope you get it from the center.
not between us entertainment wise there is no fulfillment here so ali is like you know i'm just excited yeah i can't wait to meet this family and like i know their world right now is very chaotic and there's a lot going on so i really have no idea what to expect but here's what i will do i'm going to show my teeth a lot and then hold all the babies
I'm going to say things like this. Oh, my God, you are so pretty. I can't wait to ask your mama what it's like raising four boys. So she's like, do I get charged for all these products? They probably never paid off the initial. So don't worry about it. Throw it on their tab.
But I'm just like, imagine her going back to Texas and like, wow, Ali, your skin looks so great. What are you doing? I'm using the Stephen McBee beef tallow on my face. Like, just what everyone wants to say as part of their beauty regimen.
I only trust cow kidney fat squeezed by Casey herself.
So now we go to Steve senior's house and Jake is there. And he comes in and Masha is, he sees Masha and he's like, I'm always running around the farm. And, you know, I do chores here and there. And occasionally, you know, I go over the lodge and take care of animals and stuff here and there. And Masha seems to be there here and there. And it's what you would call it's age five clinger.
I'm like, she is his girlfriend. I think it's not crazy that she would actually be in the house of the man that she's dating.
but yeah, Masha is also nuts though. So he's not necessarily wrong, but it's like, um, yeah, he's, she's probably got more reason to be there than you do. What are you doing here? So, uh, she's remodeling the whole place, which I love. I love Masha just coming in, being like my house. Now we remodel, especially when he's about to go to jail.
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Chapter 5: How does the family react to Stephen's proposal plans?
Masha just has this confused look on her face in every scene. It's like just this lady dressed to the nines, standing in the middle of a kitchen, being remodeled, like, hello? Yes, Halloween party. It was so traumatized last year. I don't know if I can go again. You're not invited, first of all. And it was so traumatizing that why do you immediately show up?
You're so thirsty. Because they've got nothing else to do with this group. I mean, the Halloween party happens later in the episode. And it's just the whole family just gathering to celebrate Halloween. It's just like the saddest little Halloween party you can imagine. So she says how last year Galena was very intoxicated at the Halloween party.
And then Galena tells us what everybody was drunk, including them. They were trashed. And then Masha says that Galena was spitting in her face and screaming and cussing and punching and everything. All those things that could happen at a Halloween party.
Oh, well, she was so cocky and arrogant and constantly was pushing me. And Masha's like, she ran through the house and I can hear her heels going faster, faster, closer, closer. And then she gets to the bedroom and she starts to scream. And Galena's like, they blew the whole thing completely out of proportion. They called the cops.
Oh, God.
And then there's like this mugshot that you're, I feel like this mugshot is like, you're going to print out a giant poster of it and put it on your wall, Ronnie.
It's my favorite thing. I've been sending it to people in text responses all week. I think it's so fucking funny. Here, I'll show you.
Are you asking me to put it up? I will. It's just Galena. Yeah.
uh and she's got a big bandage on her forehead and she's giving you like this like pouty look like what's a lot yeah she's still trying to do model pout like look at me but she's like her eyeliner and mascara is all smeared all over her face her hair's a mess she's got a bandage on her eye and she's in jail jail orange in her mugshot my queen well but she uh she has a good perspective on it which is
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Chapter 6: What challenges does Cole face regarding the family farm?
She's like, suck it, Calla! Oh, God. When I see Steven swinging that axe, he's so masculine to me in so many ways. Steven is sexy. I guess it's not so much that he's swinging the axe. It's more like he puts the axe into the wood and then spends the rest of the time trying to pull it out to get that back part of the swing. But you know what I'm saying.
Hey, so manly. He's like, I can't get the axe out. I can't get the axe out of this wood. It's like, what a man. And he's like, yeah, I did, you know, I did like five logs before he even came over here. Pretty good. Pretty good. Want to marry me? Want to get married? Start popping out them children. Hopefully with penises. Let's start doing it now. I'm a man.
So then they kiss, and this is supposed to be the most romantic story in the world, and it's just so creepy. I mean, before we even knew Stephen's text, like, you fucking whore, you slut, to her a few months later for dancing with somebody at Stagecoach. Even before that, it's like, oh, God, who's thirstier in this scene?
Stephen showing up and pretending he's a cowboy who runs this company when he clearly doesn't. Or... This girl coming on with caliphate trying to convince us that she's really here because she thinks Stephen is really manly.
mean dark horse candidate the tree stump being like oh yeah you're gonna chop me i'm gonna hold on to your axe talk about a stage five clinger um i'll tell you and also by the way talk about romance nothing could be more romantic than when cole took um that lady that whoever what her whatever name was uh to colorado and she's like i never done see a mountain before
So, like, it's going to be hard to top that. Yeah. That was basically Paris.
That was basically Paris. Yeah, Casey. You're done seeing a mountain before. It's so exciting, Cole. Finally, you're proving to me that you really want some with me.
I never done see a pine tree before. What are those little earrings that has on?
Pine cones. So, Christy, meanwhile, shows up and she's got some fall decor. Because, you know, she's probably been showing up at this house with that fall decor for many months. Like, Mom, not yet. It's June.
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Chapter 7: How does the episode address the tension between Masha and Galena?
Good to meet you. Can I help? Can I help you, Allie? She's like, oh, my God. Well, I'm meeting Allie for the first time. And my first impression of her is she's bubbly. She's fun. She just seems genuine. And not anything like that slut whose name I won't mention.
There is nothing about Allie that seems genuine. And I love that Christy's, like, her picker is just so bad.
She's like, oh, she seems just totally great.
So Allie, because Allie is doing the right thing. She's being gregarious and forthcoming with the potential mother-in-law. So she's like helping her with the fall decor. She's like, I'm Allie. Hi, everyone. Because now Jesse and other Allie arrive and then Summer and everyone. And there's a little bit of like, I'm Allie. I'm Allie as well. Oh, my God. Good to meet you, Allie.
I heard there were two Allies. I love it. Why did they not call that show Allie and Allie? Who needs a Kate? Am I right? Oh, God. It's great to be part of the family now.
Yeah, and Jesse's like, I gotta admit, it is kind of weird the day that my dad gets sentenced that Steven brings in a new girl, but Steven's gonna be Steven. Yeah, I mean, it's the first day of shooting for a new show. I mean, the man's working it.
Yeah. Cole and Casey arrive with Blair and they're like, oh, hi.
And Casey's like, the first thing that I think of when I see Allie is, oh, my gosh, she just looks like Calla. Blonde, blown out, big hair, big boobs. I feel like I'm looking at the same person.
But you also know that you just described yourself. I was about to say, you all look like that. There's like one of you who doesn't look like that. I mean, this family definitely has casting, you know, a casting type. So Cole's like, uh, Allie and Keller definitely like look alike, but I just hope their personalities are different.
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Chapter 8: What cliffhanger is left regarding Galena's actions at the end of the episode?
And Christy's like, this is disgusting. Get away. And Galena's like, I will take. And she's like, ew, this is dirty. You don't care? She's like, I actually work here.
Give me. I take. Christ's sake. In terms of things that are gross and dirty, this is the least offensive item in this household right now.
So Casey's like, wow, it's really weird seeing Christy and Galena in the same room. Since the sentence and their lack on talking terms and stuff. And now Stephen's ex-wife's here and the mistress is here and we're just missing Masha.
It was weirder than that time I saw a pine tree dressed up like a Christmas tree. That's how pine trees look, Casey. Oh, really? Never done seen one.
I love Galena meeting Ali. She's like, hello.
She's like, oh, my God, great to meet you. I've heard so much about you.
She's like, uh-oh. Really? I hope only great things.
Yeah, of course.
And she's like, well, you know, it's 50-50 combination with me, so you'll never know.
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