Alain De Botton
speaker
1,037 appearances
5 recordings
5 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 1 Jul
Alain De Botton’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And you go, oh.
Is that a problem?
And they go, no, maybe you didn't have that much to say to one another, et cetera.
Now, maybe what they're maybe perhaps struggling to say is, this person I encountered is too nice to give me the feeling of suffering that I need in order to feel I'm in love, because that's slightly the way in which I may have developed.
That
being loved and giving love is not an uncomplicated process.
As I say, in many families, for example, you're only loved if you do something, if you achieve something, if you prove yourself in a certain way.
It means that in adult relationships, we're often looking to recreate that conditionality.
And therefore, well, you know,
The ick.
Why does the ick sometimes descend?
It's very Gen Z of you.
I know.
I've been taught by younger folk.
The ick can descend in contact with a level of kindness and sympathy which doesn't feel warranted and earned.
It's simply unfamiliar.
And so this is why relationships are often so complicated because we're on a track to recreate patterns of suffering that we don't understand we're interested in recreating.
and which we're unconsciously repeating.
So this is why relationships are so strange.
We used to get into relationships because our parents would fit them in, or society would arrange marriage.
Showing 901–920 of 1,037 · page 46 of 52
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