Bela Gandhi

Attractions start to shift.

And love will come to you in an unexpected package often because what you focus on grows.

It's like I've given you a new set of lenses of things to focus on.

So suddenly, if I'm saying I want you to look for elevator people during the dating process and those qualities take a long time to develop, they don't come right out.

It's amazing what can happen.

Yeah, you can choose who you're attracted to, to some extent, right?

And so when you're preferencing these characteristics, and I tell everybody, when we're looking for elevator people, you know, it's like the holy trinity of smart dating.

I want this person to be an elevator person.

I want you to be very attracted to this person.

But that attraction can grow over time.

So we're going to pace this.

and see if it does.

If it's there in the beginning, great.

And with online dating, right, the beauty is you've seen photos of this person.

You sort of know what they look like, right?

And of course, if you meet somebody in the real world, right, you make eye contact, you meet at an event, you know, kind of like how you met your wife.

And so you know what that person looks like.

But for me, for example, I started dating somebody that I thought was like, okay, that's fine.

He's cute.

But it wasn't cute to me at that point.