Dr. Alok Kanojia

Is it helping?

I'm like, is it helping?

Do you feel any better than when you came in six months ago?

And he's like, I thought this was what we're supposed to do.

I'm just supposed to come in every week.

I tell you about how I'm sad.

And then you tell me it must be like, isn't that what psychotherapy is?

It was a huge light bulb moment for me because talking about your feelings, especially for men, is not enough much of the time.

Fascinating neuroscience and endocrinology behind that.

Putting words to it is just step one.

Second thing, this is a really important skill, cultivating additional emotions.

So if you look at people who are resilient, if you tunnel down into the internal dialogue of people who are resilient, you'll notice that they do some interesting things.

So my patients who are very severely ill, right?

And literally what I try to do with them over the course of weeks is this thing happened

And I feel overwhelming shame.

The moment that you start cultivating additional emotion.

So I've been dumped by my boyfriend or my girlfriend.

I'm really, really depressed.

I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

They start to catastrophize.