Dr. Alok Kanojia

And people would kill for that, right? So many people out there are like, oh, man, I would love to be you. No, you guys don't want to be Stephen. I know you think you do, but this is the crazy thing. We each as human beings have our own journey. And are you privileged and should you be grateful and should people aspire to be you? Absolutely, but they don't want to be you.

Like your own problems are enough. They don't need yours too. Amen. So now the question is, how do we heal? So I think the problem is like no amount of fixing things over there is going to go back to this. And this is where we can look at the science of healing trauma. So here are the steps. First thing is safety so that we can get neuroplasticity.

Like your own problems are enough. They don't need yours too. Amen. So now the question is, how do we heal? So I think the problem is like no amount of fixing things over there is going to go back to this. And this is where we can look at the science of healing trauma. So here are the steps. First thing is safety so that we can get neuroplasticity.

Second thing is emotional awareness and emotional regulation. And this allows us for number three, which is really important, which is identity. So if we look at our human sense of identity, how do you develop an identity? So if I were to ask you in three sentences, Stephen, who are you? My identity? Yeah. Tell me, who's Stephen?

Second thing is emotional awareness and emotional regulation. And this allows us for number three, which is really important, which is identity. So if we look at our human sense of identity, how do you develop an identity? So if I were to ask you in three sentences, Stephen, who are you? My identity? Yeah. Tell me, who's Stephen?

Tell me about Stephen.

Tell me about Stephen.

Okay. So I think those are three features, right? So I've read your bio. So the other thing that you tend to do in your bio is there's a narrative, right? You were a college dropout. you started a company, right? You talked about this Louis Vuitton bag phase, and then there's the post-Louis Vuitton bag phase.

Okay. So I think those are three features, right? So I've read your bio. So the other thing that you tend to do in your bio is there's a narrative, right? You were a college dropout. you started a company, right? You talked about this Louis Vuitton bag phase, and then there's the post-Louis Vuitton bag phase.

And even before we had this podcast, you were talking to me about the phases of your life. So identity requires a timeline.

And even before we had this podcast, you were talking to me about the phases of your life. So identity requires a timeline.

Now, the interesting thing is if we look at the formative moments of your life, they all have emotion. So this is what's really important. If you have an identity... that is bad in any way, you can never change that identity without emotions.

Now, the interesting thing is if we look at the formative moments of your life, they all have emotion. So this is what's really important. If you have an identity... that is bad in any way, you can never change that identity without emotions.

So what happens, so my, like when I tell my story, it's like, I was a kid, nine years old, I got put on these expectations, dropped out of college, went to become a monk, went to medical school, became a doctor. Now I started this whole helping random people on the internet thing. So each of those were emotional experiences. So who we are is a narrative of our most emotional experiences.

So what happens, so my, like when I tell my story, it's like, I was a kid, nine years old, I got put on these expectations, dropped out of college, went to become a monk, went to medical school, became a doctor. Now I started this whole helping random people on the internet thing. So each of those were emotional experiences. So who we are is a narrative of our most emotional experiences.

And we see this in all of our like superhero movies, right? Batman had this tragic experience where his parents were shot by the Joker and then he became something, right? There are all these moments, these powerful emotional moments. So if your emotions are dulled by drugs, by technology, by pornography, by watching serial killer shows, you will never change who you are. It is impossible.

And we see this in all of our like superhero movies, right? Batman had this tragic experience where his parents were shot by the Joker and then he became something, right? There are all these moments, these powerful emotional moments. So if your emotions are dulled by drugs, by technology, by pornography, by watching serial killer shows, you will never change who you are. It is impossible.

The neuroscience of your identity and development requires emotional experience. Okay? So with trauma, that's the next thing that happens. Once we have access to emotions, then we can become someone else. Now, the problem with trauma is that before we become someone else, the beliefs we have about ourselves... become our destiny. So if I think to myself, I'm a loser.

The neuroscience of your identity and development requires emotional experience. Okay? So with trauma, that's the next thing that happens. Once we have access to emotions, then we can become someone else. Now, the problem with trauma is that before we become someone else, the beliefs we have about ourselves... become our destiny. So if I think to myself, I'm a loser.

So when I was interviewing for residency, I went to an interview somewhere on the West Coast. And the director of the program called me at the end of the interview. And they're like, we don't understand why you're here. And I was like, what do you mean you don't understand why I'm here? And they're like, your application is really good. You could end up at any program in the country.