Dr. Alok Kanojia

So when I was interviewing for residency, I went to an interview somewhere on the West Coast. And the director of the program called me at the end of the interview. And they're like, we don't understand why you're here. And I was like, what do you mean you don't understand why I'm here? And they're like, your application is really good. You could end up at any program in the country.

Like, why did you pick us? And like, I was like, I picked y'all because I liked the way that your hospital works and I like that the city it's in and I'm super into complementology. Like, what do you mean, why am I here? But the way that he approached it with a lack of confidence, he's like, our program sucks. And they had some problems at the program at the time, so it kind of makes sense.

Like, why did you pick us? And like, I was like, I picked y'all because I liked the way that your hospital works and I like that the city it's in and I'm super into complementology. Like, what do you mean, why am I here? But the way that he approached it with a lack of confidence, he's like, our program sucks. And they had some problems at the program at the time, so it kind of makes sense.

But this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I go into a job interview and I feel a lack of confidence, if I believe I'm a loser, then I'm not going to get the job. You used to go to clubs and buy bottles of champagnes and thought that you were a loser, didn't end up where you wanted to go. So this is what a lot of people don't understand. Everyone's focused on productivity.

But this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I go into a job interview and I feel a lack of confidence, if I believe I'm a loser, then I'm not going to get the job. You used to go to clubs and buy bottles of champagnes and thought that you were a loser, didn't end up where you wanted to go. So this is what a lot of people don't understand. Everyone's focused on productivity.

But the single most important thing that will determine your future is your sense of who you are. And that's not like some, oh, spiritual, get connected with you. This is like fucking science, right? If you believe you are a loser, the empathic circuits of other people's brains will detect that in you and they will treat you like a loser. You carry who you are with you.

But the single most important thing that will determine your future is your sense of who you are. And that's not like some, oh, spiritual, get connected with you. This is like fucking science, right? If you believe you are a loser, the empathic circuits of other people's brains will detect that in you and they will treat you like a loser. You carry who you are with you.

That's why you get into failed relationship number one, failed relationship number two, failed relationship number three until you changed. And when you change, your sense of identity changes, then your future will change. The last thing to do is on a more microscopic level, look at these responses within yourself.

That's why you get into failed relationship number one, failed relationship number two, failed relationship number three until you changed. And when you change, your sense of identity changes, then your future will change. The last thing to do is on a more microscopic level, look at these responses within yourself.

So you asked me at the very beginning of the podcast, and now we're coming full circle, how do you start understanding yourself? So you look at the drives within yourself, right? Why can't I sit still? And this is going to be so hard for you because if I told you, if I told you, Stephen, if you want to heal your trauma, you need to go to Bali, you need to sit on a beach and you need to do nothing.

So you asked me at the very beginning of the podcast, and now we're coming full circle, how do you start understanding yourself? So you look at the drives within yourself, right? Why can't I sit still? And this is going to be so hard for you because if I told you, if I told you, Stephen, if you want to heal your trauma, you need to go to Bali, you need to sit on a beach and you need to do nothing.

You will still turn that into growth and progress. Because what you'll say is, oh, this is what Dr. K told me to heal my trauma. So now I'm doing even more important work than a podcast for 10 million people on the internet. Now I'm doing the healing of my trauma, which is the goal. And you're still running away from yourself. There's no way you can run away from it.

You will still turn that into growth and progress. Because what you'll say is, oh, this is what Dr. K told me to heal my trauma. So now I'm doing even more important work than a podcast for 10 million people on the internet. Now I'm doing the healing of my trauma, which is the goal. And you're still running away from yourself. There's no way you can run away from it.

Your mind will transform the very thing that you do into the problem. And that's what trauma does. I'll give you a chance to respond because I've been waiting. I'm waiting for the solution, Dr. K. Yeah. So, I mean, in your case, I think it's like sit. Just sit.

Your mind will transform the very thing that you do into the problem. And that's what trauma does. I'll give you a chance to respond because I've been waiting. I'm waiting for the solution, Dr. K. Yeah. So, I mean, in your case, I think it's like sit. Just sit.

And you have to be careful because if your mind turns the sitting into a goal that I have to achieve, oh, I need to sit and that will be my growth. No, no fucking goal. Just sit. Waste your time. What you need to learn how to do is waste your time. Do nothing, sit, be with yourself and watch out for that mind. The second thing is awareness, okay?

And you have to be careful because if your mind turns the sitting into a goal that I have to achieve, oh, I need to sit and that will be my growth. No, no fucking goal. Just sit. Waste your time. What you need to learn how to do is waste your time. Do nothing, sit, be with yourself and watch out for that mind. The second thing is awareness, okay?

So as you sit, you will notice all of these things come up. So this is like, you asked me a question at the beginning, how do you start? So what I would say is sit for five minutes, 15 minutes. Sometimes we'll tell people to stare at a wall for an hour.

So as you sit, you will notice all of these things come up. So this is like, you asked me a question at the beginning, how do you start? So what I would say is sit for five minutes, 15 minutes. Sometimes we'll tell people to stare at a wall for an hour.

and just look at what on earth goes on inside you, you will discover that it is a zoo of thoughts, feelings, emotions, drives, panics, worries, distractions. Your internal environment is such a mess. So what we need to do is just kind of calm that stuff down by like just letting it kind of run out of steam. So this is a principle of the mind that if we feed our mind, it'll continue to grow.