Dr. Becky Kennedy

to modernize where sturdy leadership kind of gets applied and what it really looks like and how it benefits everyone. But that's really what good insight is.

I use sports analogies all the time and connect before you correct. There's a lot of phrases I'll take credit for. That one's not mine. I actually can find, I don't know who said it first, but it is beautiful and it gives you an order of operations, right?

I use sports analogies all the time and connect before you correct. There's a lot of phrases I'll take credit for. That one's not mine. I actually can find, I don't know who said it first, but it is beautiful and it gives you an order of operations, right?

Where I think about this all the time, like my kid is hitting their brother or my kid lied to my face about something that, you know, is important. Like, I don't know whether they studied for a test, whatever the behavior is, right?

Where I think about this all the time, like my kid is hitting their brother or my kid lied to my face about something that, you know, is important. Like, I don't know whether they studied for a test, whatever the behavior is, right?

And I find out and I see them hitting and I just kind of send them to their room or I like take away their iPad or something, which I always say is like the worst thing. Because when you're a parent, it really is like now I have to deal with taking away their iPad. I don't even want to do that. I like when they have iPad time. Right, right, right. Nobody wins. Like why did I do that, you know?

And I find out and I see them hitting and I just kind of send them to their room or I like take away their iPad or something, which I always say is like the worst thing. Because when you're a parent, it really is like now I have to deal with taking away their iPad. I don't even want to do that. I like when they have iPad time. Right, right, right. Nobody wins. Like why did I do that, you know?

But I think about a basketball coach and I think about a kid who is missing layups all the time. And I think about watching my kid's basketball coach, if that's my kid. And the coach is like, you go to your room and you come back here when you can make a layup. And I feel like all the parents would be like, Why, like, why would that even, what's the theory of why that would be effective?

But I think about a basketball coach and I think about a kid who is missing layups all the time. And I think about watching my kid's basketball coach, if that's my kid. And the coach is like, you go to your room and you come back here when you can make a layup. And I feel like all the parents would be like, Why, like, why would that even, what's the theory of why that would be effective?

Forget, like, what is my, you think my kid is now going to their room and Googling how to make a better shot? Like, yes, you might have to pull the kid out of the game, but you probably want to say, hey, like, this is not your game right now. I believe in you. And like, we're going to get in the gym tomorrow and get to the bottom of this and figure this out.

Forget, like, what is my, you think my kid is now going to their room and Googling how to make a better shot? Like, yes, you might have to pull the kid out of the game, but you probably want to say, hey, like, this is not your game right now. I believe in you. And like, we're going to get in the gym tomorrow and get to the bottom of this and figure this out.

And if that was my kid's coach, I just don't know if the parents would say, that coach is really condoning bad behavior. They're really encouraging. That coach is making it seem like it's okay to mislead. It's like, it doesn't make any sense, but we actually have a system of doing that to our kids over and over. And then we wonder why. So many teens and adults feel so awful about themselves.

And if that was my kid's coach, I just don't know if the parents would say, that coach is really condoning bad behavior. They're really encouraging. That coach is making it seem like it's okay to mislead. It's like, it doesn't make any sense, but we actually have a system of doing that to our kids over and over. And then we wonder why. So many teens and adults feel so awful about themselves.

Well, when you reflect back to a kid that they're a bad kid, during the stage they're forming their identity, that will stick with them for a while.

Well, when you reflect back to a kid that they're a bad kid, during the stage they're forming their identity, that will stick with them for a while.

And totally possible. To me, if there's one thing I ever want someone to take from anything I say is, it's never too late. It is never too late. Repair is amazing. It is never too late. The parent who's listening now is like, oh no, I guess I messed up my kid forever. You did not. By the way, I sometimes say bad things to my kids, too. We're human.

And totally possible. To me, if there's one thing I ever want someone to take from anything I say is, it's never too late. It is never too late. Repair is amazing. It is never too late. The parent who's listening now is like, oh no, I guess I messed up my kid forever. You did not. By the way, I sometimes say bad things to my kids, too. We're human.

But to me, it's the starting point of, right, my kid is good inside. That's why everything we do is called that. And to me, that idea isn't just a phrase that sounds nice. To me, it's actually a core principle. that is very different from a punishment or fear-based approach, which is if I believe my kid is good inside, and I always find visuals helpful.

But to me, it's the starting point of, right, my kid is good inside. That's why everything we do is called that. And to me, that idea isn't just a phrase that sounds nice. To me, it's actually a core principle. that is very different from a punishment or fear-based approach, which is if I believe my kid is good inside, and I always find visuals helpful.

So I look at one hand, I'm like, this is my kid. This is who they are. That's their identity. And they are good inside. And then I look at my other hand very far away and say, like, this is their behavior. This is what they did. And I would agree with a lot of parents telling me, like, oh, they lied to your face? I would agree, like, not great behavior. They hit their sister?