Dr. Jared White

speaker

517 appearances 5 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2019 last heard Apr 2021

Dr. Jared White’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · How to know if you're dating a narcissist · 18 May 2020 podcast

Because that narcissistic person is so focused on themselves.

So one of the key things then becomes about managing our expectations.

And this means being the best version of yourself for yourself, for your meaning, for your purpose.

And if it works for that person, for the narcissist right, and if it doesn't, then you're never gonna be the one to please them anyway.

So in doing that, it's kind of like recreating the type of hope that we have for the relationship to work by really focusing on ourselves as opposed to uh the the narcissist, because the narcissist is very much focused on themselves anyway.

If you think about it, you can think about it in two ways.

The first way is to think about it from the narcissist perspective.

And the narcissist is, you know, often looking to be with someone that's, you know, quite strong and gives them kind of a greater sense of self by being with that person.

I think if we think about that first story we heard from Jade, you know, with the narcissist that would just keep saying how much

They loved Jay when she was gonna leave makes sense because

If someone's gonna leave a narcissist, of course

the narcissist is gonna love them because it means that they're almost uh that other person is too good to be with the narcissist, so that person is worth their love.

But I guess the second way to look at it is to then think about, okay, well which kind of people are attracted to a narcissist?

And one of the things we know about narcissists are that they have this deep sense of insecurity.

So often the person that's attracted to a narcissist is someone that's totally empathic.

And totally empathetic and compassionate.

And so you'll find that these people often find themselves in those sorts of relationships.

Uh, that means that's really challenging.

There's so much involved in that I think.

It's you know, how do you build trust again?

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