Gemma Cribb
speaker
1,656 appearances
19 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2017
last heard Jan 2020
Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Unfortunately not.
It's one of those things that fades away and dies down because if you're in a monogamous relationship, you're doing the same things generally with the same person.
Most couples tend to get into a bit of a pattern or a routine.
And at least 30% of ladies and 5% of men have what they call a primary reactive desire.
And basically what that means is they don't have libido spontaneously.
They have to kind of get into a sexual situation before they feel really hot for sex.
So, you know, there's a lot of people out there that don't really want to tear their partner's clothes off after that first honeymoon period.
Look, I always like the use it or lose it type of philosophy.
I think as a longer term couple making an effort to prioritise being sexual and some people think that's really boring, you know, kind of we have a sex date every whatever it is.
but it is actually a research-proven best way to make sure that you're still having sex because life gets in the way.
And then working out with your partner how to introduce novelty in whatever ways are within your own boundaries.
So, you know, some people have a cookie jar that they sort of pull out
fantasies from that they act out with each other other people you know there's decks of cards now that you can have a have a go at and you know different people are into different things of course but any kind of novelty will help keep that spark
Yeah, you definitely can fall in love without a big period of that NRE.
In fact, they say that some people on SSRIs, which are like antidepressants, actually won't experience part of that NRE because
SRIs stop your serotonin from dropping.
That's how it helps with depression.
But part of falling in love is kind of craving your partner and you need your serotonin to drop to get into that temporary OCD that I was telling you about before.
So the NRE part of it isn't actually the most important part for a happy long-term relationship.
Although in my experience and in the literature, they talk about how when couples are in distress down the track, they'll often blame no NRE or not choosing the right one, which they think is actually a bit of a cop-out.
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