Hasan Minhaj

speaker

963 appearances 4 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2025 last heard 8 Apr

Hasan Minhaj’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma · UNCUT | Hasan Minhaj Wants to Cancel Birthdays · 20 Feb 2025 podcast

We had a lot of animals, but I used to want to be a veterinarian. Okay. Was that interesting? Wait, who confirmed this? Pops? Like, your dad was like, we're going to... My dad was like, you could be a veterinarian. Because that's like a doctor.

Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't, no, no, he wasn't pro-animal. Don't get me wrong. It was always a battle. I wanted a newt. Do you know what a newt is? It's like a salamander. I wanted a salamander, but he let me get the newt.

I got a newt. N-E-W-T. It's like a salamander. Died immediately.

Yeah, they were like, this guy wants to be a doctor.

It's a doctor, dude. I didn't have to convince them that much. I said, I want to be a doctor. And then my dad, being an immigrant, he was like, you'll have your own clinic. Like, he went straight to, like, you own a hospital. I own a hospital. And he also knew, he's like, Americans, they love their animals. Like, yeah, you can operate on snakes and lizards and cats. Oh, got it.

He was like, we're going to be rich. He was like, we're going to be rich. I've done my job in the American dream. My son's going to be a doctor, parentheses, for animals.

than humans in this country yeah there's a real money train here yeah yeah we need to support kareem yeah and now they have insurance i was getting i would get insurance payouts i wouldn't even have to tax people do you have a do you have a dog right now i have two cats i would never get a dog i have hairless cats what i just i don't like touching hair i have an aversion to hair a hair aversion bro a hairless that's so disturbing too

And they actually sleep in my bed. Yeah, that's insane. They wear sweaters every day. And they sleep in my bed.

No, they're enamored. Because they've never seen something of such beauty and grace. Beauty and grace? Yeah, dude.

I'm punk. Yeah, you're out of pocket. I'm super fucking punk. You know Mr. Bigglesworth? Yeah. Dr. Evil's cat. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's what I have. That was your inspiration? I have two of them. That's wild. And you know what their names are? What are the names? Kremlin and Mustafa. You gave one like a Muslim name?

Cats are allowed. When I told my mom that I was going to name my cat Mustafa, she said, but that's your brother's name.

And I said, I'm naming him after my brother. She said, you can't name a cat after your brother.

Well, she was like, he's going to be really mad. Yes. So I called my brother and I said, do you mind? Yeah, and you're like, Mustafa, how do you feel about this? And he was like, fuck yeah, bro. This is so sick, dude. He was like, bro, thank you so much. And now when he comes over, he's like obsessed with the cat that's named after him.

I didn't have kids at the time. Yeah. I didn't have kids at the time. Bro, you're wild.

You're not? I'm really not. You're bad at it?

So you let them rock? I let them rock, yeah. How long are they around?

Would you show them on camera? I'm not going to show them on camera.

Oh, God, don't do it. Don't. Okay, do it. Yeah, I'm not going to do it.

What about in other countries where it's worth less, but you have, like, in Egypt, I have to carry around 40,000 pounds. Right.

to go to dinner and get a coffee and so i have a wad of cash and i don't like run credit cards that much yeah so i'm just carrying a fat wad i do feel rich there got it i like i like have it next i take photos inflation makes you oh you do the money i take rap photos when i'm in other countries that's the only place i can do the rap photos yeah yeah the money calling yeah i stand on money what's this

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