Hasan Minhaj

speaker

963 appearances 4 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2025 last heard 8 Apr

Hasan Minhaj’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma · UNCUT | Hasan Minhaj Wants to Cancel Birthdays · 20 Feb 2025 podcast

What does this mean? You go like this. You hold the whole stack. Oh, that's fire. Have you ever heard the phrase, I stand on business, ten toes down? Yes, I love that phrase.

I stand on that. Okay, so let's talk about Islam for a second because I think it's really fun. Why not? I think it's awesome. I think it's great. So I tell people that why wouldn't you want the latest iOS update? Yes. Islam's the newest Abrahamic religion.

Watch my childhood.

Sit on the floor. Answer questions. I don't answer questions. My kid doesn't talk. Oh, yeah, you have a kid. You have two kids.

They're both older than mine. Yes. Do you have any advice for a new dad? You seem like a great father.

Yeah, he's so sick. He's so sick. And then Sally Fields comes in and she's like, I want a divorce. It's such a sad movie. People think it's a comedy, but I think it's a really dark... His kids are stolen from him. And he has to pretty much cross-dress. Is that a PC term still? Can we say cross-dress?

Just for visitation. And he wants them back. And then there's Pierce Brosnan. Little bitch-ass. He just appears browsing at the pool. Fuck him. Oh, that scene kills. Fuck him. Dude, when he does the diving board. I actually think there's two camps.

I don't think I would have a conversation or spend any time with someone that thinks Robin Williams is a villain in that movie. Really?

The assumption that all tall people are good at basketball, does that bother you? Because you're like, I'm not that good, I'm just tall.

That would be a good show.

You just show up and... Let's produce it. Let's do it. We just did a business deal. We just did a business deal. It's on... Everyone watching, we're producing a show called Hoops. If any investors, executive producers... It's a wild assortment of people. Ridley Scott, if you're interested. I think it could be cool with explosions. Yeah.

Yeah, that's fire. That's sick. Man, I don't know anything about basketball. Oh, you don't know anything about basketball. No, I mean, I know how to, like, put the ball in the hoop. Got it.

Oh, I think I can imagine. Oh, no. The guy with the arm sleeve is whack. Arm sleeve's cool. Arm sleeve's cool. I disagree. Strongly disagree.

So I have a funny story from a long time ago. I sent you a script of mine. Okay. Oh, yeah, we got to talk about this. And I told you a story. What you did is actually fucked up. And your response was, I don't mess with that. Yeah. You literally, I have an email, you said, I'm sorry, I don't mess with that. Yeah. It was a very kind email. I had sent you an email about gins. Yes.

And I had a story where I was sexually assaulted by one. Yeah. It violently jerked me off. Yeah. I didn't come, but it violently jerked me off. Yeah. And you wanted me to executive produce this? Kareem, you're nuts, bro. But the problem is, I summoned it. What? Oh, I didn't tell you that part.

Yeah, I summoned that. Yeah, you lost me at the first part.

uh they're bad hombres they're not great they're not bad hombres only the ones that attempt to make contact they could be no no the ones in the gin world that are living their lives with their kids and families yes those are good they're just like humans naturally good the ones that decide to essentially say like oh a human is summoning i'll come over yeah those are the mischievous little yeah because they're not supposed to do that yeah so i'm not just like i'm not supposed to do that so i know we're doing bits and we're making videos for the internet literally as you're like i summoned one

Don't even answer. I don't even want to know.

This is what I'm talking about. You just go on Reddit and you say, how does someone do it? There's ten steps. Don't even. I don't even want to get started. My grandmother, when I told her. I don't. My grandmother was crying. We don't got to go there. My mom was crying. Yeah, bro. It's a serious thing. And they go, why do you want to do it? I said, how old were you when this happened? Yeah. 28.

That's crazy.

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