James Sexton

But when you marry someone, those habits and that polarity that brought you together, it might start being something that's antagonistic, and it's going to start creating long-term issues.

Because again, marriage...

It's such an odd thing, modern marriage, because we've really packaged it as this person's your best friend, best roommate, best co-parent, best financial partner, best travel partner, best companion animal partner.

Like, it's a long list.

You know, if I was talking to you about a chef and said, you know, Jose Andres is an amazing chef, would you be like, well, but can he farm?

You're like, well, no, like those things have to do with food, both of them.

But it doesn't mean like if you're not good at one or you're automatically good at one, you'd be good at the others.

So I think, you know, not being mindful of how the polarity that drew you together might have long-term difficult effects.

So that would be red flag number one.

Red flag number two would be the inability or the fear.

Like if you feel a real fear about talking to this person about issues between the two of you, that's a huge red flag.

Like you are going to...

have disagreements with your partner.

You're going to have to navigate difficult conversations.

When I talk to people about prenuptial agreements, you know, very often people will say like, well, I'm just, you know, I don't want to have this uncomfortable conversation.

And I want to say to them, if you don't feel comfortable having an uncomfortable conversation with this person, you might want to choose one of the other 8 billion other options because you're going to have to have difficult conversations from time to time.

And I guess a third one, you know, would be you're...

It's sort of, you know, like it's a little contrary to each other, right, or a little contradictory.

But I think two major mistakes people make when they're getting married is thinking that if I marry this person, they're never going to change.

They're going to stay the way they are.