Jonny Miller
speaker
1,544 appearances
4 recordings
4 series
first heard Apr 2026
last heard 6d ago
Jonny Miller’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 2.
Appearances
And there's actually two modes of reactivity as well.
There's something that a lot of people know.
But there's one mode, which is hyper arousal, which is basically when there's too much energy in the system and it takes you out of your what's known as your window of tolerance, which is basically your the amount of stress in your system that you can stay present, grounded, centered, kind of connected to yourself.
And when you go beyond that, some people go up into this hyperarousal, which is basically maybe anxiety, frustration, anger, maybe overwhelm.
And it's the sympathetic system kind of going outside of this capacity, basically.
And then for other people, which is actually harder to spot, going down into the parasympathetic system, the secondary active state called hypoarousal,
And this looks like lethargy, withdrawal, like disassociation, numbness, maybe kind of procrastination, laziness.
And so, and both of these modes are, it's easy to see them as, oh, these are bad.
Like we want to avoid these, but they're actually, they're just protective strategies that the predictive processing of our nervous system has learned to keep us safe.
And so once you kind of see that of like, oh, this is just my nervous system is outside of my capacity right now.
I just need to come back into the window and ground.
And for me, it allows you to have more compassion for yourself because instead of beating yourself up when you're in that state and you're reacting in a way that you're not proud of,
you can just be like, oh, my system just needs a little bit of grounding right now.
And you kind of come back in.
So again, it's a more empowering narrative for why we're doing what we're doing.
I think the ultimate litmus test for how regulated we are is the quality of our relationships.
And one of the best metrics of the quality of our relationships is how much time do we spend in reactivity?
What is the half-life of our reactivity?
So from the moment where you're triggered, you're reactive, you're in this state where you're defending something,
how long does it take you to go from that state back to grounded calm yourself present connected and for a lot of people that might be days weeks months if something happens and they can spend you know weeks ruminating about this thing and never really like come back
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