Julie Smith

speaker

149 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 28 Jun

Julie Smith’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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But they're less helpful often in adulthood because the relationships are different.

You're not child to adult, you're adult to adult.

And you have responsibilities and you've got to compromise and those sorts of things.

So then they become disruptive and then we have to...

You can't necessarily unlearn or remove those templates that you have.

You can become aware of what they are, become aware of when they're detrimental, and then make adjustments.

You can keep learning so you can develop new patterns with your partner and they can override the old ones.

So it happens really gradually.

So what happens in therapy is people will come along and talk about the things that have been happening and you literally map it out on paper.

So you'll go, okay, this happened, then you felt this.

And so because of that feeling, you did that to cope with the feeling and it made the feeling go away, but then the feeling came back.

So you did that thing again and you went around the cycle again.

So you kind of map out these cycles that you get stuck in.

And what you find is week after week, the details of the cycle change

but the cycle is the same generally.

And what you're doing over those weeks is you're building up this familiarity with the cycles you get stuck in.

You know, when you think, I do this same thing over and over again, and I don't know why, I just find myself doing the same thing.

And when you kind of look into it in therapy like that, you start to notice it in the moment.

So in therapy, you're doing it in hindsight.

You're looking back at the week gone by.

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