Kelly McDaniel
speaker
720 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard May 2025
last heard 21 May
Kelly McDaniel’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 1.
Appearances
The Tamsen Show · Healing the Grief, the Love, and the Silence Around Your Mother · 11 May 2025
podcast
The relationship with our mothers changes throughout the lifespan. And I find that some mothers are more transparent with their daughters than others about their own menopause journey. I think every menopause journey is as unique as each mother-daughter bond, perhaps. My mother, for example, if you were to talk to her about menopause, she'd say, menopause, I didn't have any problems.
No problems at all, you know, never, mm-mm. But in hindsight, I can remember, I didn't know what it was, seeing some mood swings and some unpredictable behavior. And maybe I even saw some hot flashes, but it was just written off as, oh, it's just hot in here. But I did come to it totally unprepared. Because she sailed through it. So I thought, it's not going to happen to me.
Or she thinks she sailed through it. She thinks she sailed through it. And I do feel like for her mother... Und für sich selbst war es nicht ermittelt, zu sagen, dass ich kämpfe. Es gab eine echte Ethik von, ich habe das, ich kann alles machen.
Well, I think when we live in a culture that values pull yourself up by your bootstraps and independence more than interdependence and the fact that we need each other, anything that would make us feel a little vulnerable might also leave us feeling one down. That we are below someone with more capacity, someone with more power. And that's a threatening feeling.
Right.
Which reminds me, one of the things I will ask a woman when we're working together to help her identify her story. What happened when you got your period for the first time? Had you been told about it? Was your mother there? Did you know what was happening? Do you remember what happened? What does that show you? Unsere Ermittlungsgeschichte erzählt uns viel über die Mutter-Tochter-Beziehung.
Wenn sie ihre Tochter vorbereitet hat, wenn sie feierlich war oder wenn sie enttäuscht oder enttäuscht war. Generell, wenn eine Mutter für ihre Tochter menstruiert, ist es so, wie sie sich über ihr eigenes Körper, ihren eigenen Menstruationszyklus fühlt. So I think it's just really positive when I hear of a mother who celebrated it with her daughter.
Those stories are not as common as the ones where daughters would begin to bleed and didn't know where her mom was or didn't know what was happening.
Frauen, die sich wirklich schuldig fühlen, wenn sie sich schuldig fühlen, dass sie ihre Mutter kümmern müssen, dass sie sich schuldig fühlen müssen, weil wenn sie nicht gut gekümmert wurden und jetzt müssen sie sich kümmern und kümmern müssen, dann wird das Schmerzen wieder auftauchen und es kann mit Schmerzen und Schmerzen kommen.
Und ich sehe viele Frauen, die sich vor Schmerzen befinden, wenn das passiert.
I think it's helpful just to know that it's okay. That of course if you were not adequately mothered, to turn around now and mother the mother hurts. Physically hurts. And it's tiring. And you can't really explain it to her. And it may feel like nobody understands. And you may feel like a really ungrateful daughter if you try to talk to anyone so you get lonely.
You don't know what to do with these feelings. And so I just think if maybe hearing this can soothe the part of you that feels like a bad girl, you're not a bad girl. If you feel burned out or tired or you just don't want to do it.
Mütterhunger beeinflusst definitiv das Verabschieden. Ja, warum ist das? Warum ist das? Because we have a woman's brain is designed for relational connections. So every relational connection that goes into our heart and penetrates, we're going to remember it. But I remember as a little girl and a developing adolescent people saying, oh, you know, you're young, you'll get over it.
What I have found is that with women with mother hunger, which means on some way we are insecurely attached, sometimes we don't get over those early, early heartbreaks that come from love that doesn't go well. But the truth is, whoever we had a crush on, whoever we want to date, whoever we fall in love with is part of our story of how we attach.
Mother's Day is so difficult. I hear so many stories of women that would stand in front of the row of Hallmark cards, reading them, and not one single card felt authentic, felt real. Like, I can't pick up this card because that's not the way my mother... Das ist nicht so, wie ich sie erlebe.
Und ich habe mit Frauen gesprochen, die ihre Mütter verloren haben, und an Müttersdagen, wenn sie in der Schule sind, und es sind Dinge, die sie machen sollen, Kunstwerke oder Projekte, um sie zur Mutter zu bringen, wie tragisch das ist. Ich habe bemerkt, und ich weiß nicht, ob ihr das bemerkt habt, aber in den letzten drei Jahren,
I've noticed that some social media and marketing campaigns have started to develop some sensitivity to this. They may even put a trigger warning out. If you don't want to hear about us or about Mother's Day, block us during May. I've been encouraged by this, that there's a recognition that this is not going to feel good for everybody. And it can be difficult as a daughter.
It can be difficult as a woman who wanted children and didn't get to have them. It can be difficult for mothers who lost children. It is difficult in so many ways. And speaks right to the fact that our culture sentimentalizes it, minimizes what an essential, important relationship this is.
Genau. Whether it was an aunt, a friend, a babysitter, a teacher, whoever gave you a sense, even if it was only for 30 seconds, that you are delightful. That's something to think about on Mother's Day.
I think we need to forgive our mothers in order to be happy within ourselves. Forgiveness is something we really do to loosen up any resentment we feel, to let ourselves off the hook of being angry or hurt or jealous. We can forgive our mother whether she's alive or not. We can forgive our mother whether she apologizes or not.
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