Lisa Bilyeu

So you know what?

I'm just going to build my validation on the fact that right now I can only do two push-ups, but I'm going to promise myself that I'm going to show up at the gym every single day in service of trying to get better at push-ups.

And so what I do right now is I reassess what my identity is and if it still aligns with the person I'm trying to become.

And if it doesn't, then A, I go, cool, how do I make sure I now no longer get my validation from this identity that doesn't serve me?

It's abstract.

It has nothing to do with work, but I'm building the validation within myself because I said I was going to do something and I'm working every day to achieve it.

That becomes a skill set.

What do I need to do?

If I'm feeling great about people saying that I'm a great stay-at-home wife, what can I do that's solely based on me and my own ability to validate myself?

The same with a book.

I said, I'm going to write a book.

I'm going to build my validation every day in working on the book.

I said I was going to write it and I freaking wrote the book.

I need to be proud that I wrote the book.

all right, well, I really like working out.

And the problem is if you start to identify as, let's say, I want to be number one New York Times bestseller.

I really want to do 50 push-ups.

So you know what?

I'm just going to build my validation on the fact that right now I can only do two push-ups, but I'm going to promise myself that I'm going to show up at the gym every single day in service of trying to get better at push-ups.

I do want to be that.