Logan Urie
speaker
760 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard 16 Feb
Logan Urie’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 1.
Appearances
So a deal breaker would be something like, I smoke and you have asthma, or I celebrate this religion, you practice this other religion, and we both want to raise our kids in our own religion. Yes, we're probably not going to work out as a couple, but people should really sit down, make a list of their deal breakers, And then ask themselves, is this a real incompatibility?
And if not, just move it to the pet peeves list and don't focus on it. And so I never tell people to settle. That's kind of like the big S word in my work. But I do say double down on the things that matter and be willing to compromise on the things that don't.
Great. So we've been talking a lot about online dating. So I'll actually shift to talk about how to meet more people in real life. So my favorite concept for this is a framework I have called the events decision matrix. We might want to actually draw it out because it's very visual. Okay. But you basically draw a two by two.
So at the top of the line, the vertical line, you say likelihood that I'll meet someone at this event. Okay, so right or left? Like on the top. Oh, so on the top.
Yeah. And then on the right-hand side, you'll say likelihood you'll enjoy it. Like enjoy this event. Enjoy this event. Yep. So I created this because I felt like I was working with a lot of busy people who were like, I really want to meet someone in real life, but I'm busy and what event should I prioritize? Okay.
So my recommendation for Molly and for anyone else is that look at a bunch of events. Look on Facebook, look on Meetup, follow different museums, whatever you're into. Look and then every time there's an event, you plot it on here. And the things that you think about are what's the likelihood that people interact at this event?
So maybe you love horror movies, but people don't really talk at a movie marathon versus a book club. It's all about talking and meeting. True. So the higher likelihood it is that people meet at this event, the higher it goes on here. And then on the right, you say, what's the likelihood that I'll enjoy it? So maybe you actually don't like reading.
So that's not a good fit for you, but you like bike repair workshops. So things that fall in the upper right-hand quadrant are things where people are likely to interact and you're likely to enjoy it. And those are the events that you should go to.
And the reason why I'm getting so mathematical about this is because I really want people to spend time at the things that are worth their while so that they don't get burned out. So If you really are going to like the event, then who cares if you met someone or not? You still did something that you liked. And really just take that moment to think about, will people there be talking?
So I actually feel like a Red Sox game could be good for this. That's true, actually. If you are a fan, you could talk to the people around you. One of my hottest tips for meeting people in real life is just get into a line and start talking about the line. How long have you been in this line? What are you going to order? Do you have any recommendations here?
Honestly, it's like people do want to connect, but they don't know how to do it and we are out of practice. And so another piece of advice I have for people is ABF, always be flirting. Okay, what does that mean? It means that imagine that you're at a bar and you see the hottest person and you want to approach them, but guess what? You haven't approached someone in two years.
You're not going to be good at it because you're out of practice. So how can you practice flirting with everyone, flirting with the world? And I mean flirting as kind of a catch-all term for interacting with people. So You're waiting to get a haircut and the guy behind you is also waiting. Talk about getting your haircut, whatever it is. Practice talking to people in elevators.
Practice talking to people at the grocery store so that when you do meet that person you're romantically interested in, you actually have the social skills to approach them.
So I would first want to ask Molly, what are you not enjoying about the first dates? Is it that there's a lot of small talk? Are you just spending time in the shallow end of the conversation pool? How can you actually be talking about more interesting things? So I sit next to people in restaurants all the time on first dates and they are so painstakingly boring.
And then I'm just like, please stop talking about how many siblings you have. Who cares? That doesn't define you. Well, what the hell do you talk about? So a trick that I have for people is this concept. It's a Latin phrase called in media res, which means in the middle of things. So you can walk into a date and say, I was listening to the most interesting Mel Robbins podcast on the way here.
And she has this concept called let them. And it really made me reflect on this. What do you think about this? getting advice from people, hearing how they think. When you just exchange information, that's so boring. And that's a real reason why people get burned out because they're like, I go on the same exact date at the same exact bar, having the same conversation.
My friend Kristen calls this press play conversations. You have a tape in your head, you press play and you say, I went to college here. I studied this. Now I do this. It's like you're fucking bored. They're fucking bored. You're not having an experience.
How can you actually have a real experience where you're in the moment processing new things and talking and not boring each other out of your minds?
So I had a client who I thought was so funny. She was really cool, really interesting. I was a fan of hers. And then she told me that she was consistently getting feedback from people that she wasn't memorable or she wasn't remarkable. Obviously, they said it in nicer ways, but she just wasn't standing out. And so I said to her, come in with hot takes. Tell us your hot takes. What is a hot take?
A hot take is why golden doodles are overrated. Oh, I agree. I love them, but yes. Why a taco is a sandwich. All of these different things. And they can be silly or they can be serious. And the point is that you're being memorable, but you're having a conversation that that person has likely never had before. And then you get to see how my mind works and I get to see how your mind works.
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