Nicole LePera, Ph.D.
speaker
380 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2026
last heard 29 Mar
Nicole LePera, Ph.D.’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Mar 2026 with 1.
Appearances
How can I show up differently?
Perhaps can I create a boundary with how I interact with you, especially if there's kind of overt harm that's still happening, right?
But that's what a boundary truly is, right?
Can I begin changing?
to initiate an action, to show up differently, to create a boundary so that, because the reality is some of us might want to modify to some extent our relationship, but that's what acceptance is.
It's a long-term process of being with our pain and also exploring the ways, if any, that we might want to change the dynamic, but not asking or demanding that they do anything different.
Acknowledge that they're going to probably be the same.
And then we do differently.
And for me, quite honestly, that allowed me to stay presently in my mother's life, allowing me to mourn my grief and my hurt and my anger and modify my relationship to the extent of not really looking to her to emotionally support me, finding other people in my life that I can gain emotional support from, shifting the conversations that I had with her so they were a little more surface about things that we could connect around.
And then that allowed me to accept
to some extent, who she was and then really how she remained until the end of her life.
Yeah, I think for a lot of us, and again, because the human condition is to try to seek control.
And to seek control, again, kind of back to what we were talking about earlier, the quickest way to discomfort if you're not giving me enough of or doing too much of that is you stop, right?
So it's so natural that when we kind of come to the awareness that something's not working, that we do kind of
go outward with the demand for the relief of discomfort to come from you modifying your behavior.
Though I think in the process of acceptance, right, where some of us are accepting that you're not going to change, that now allows us to take power back.
back.
So now we're not just waiting for something that could never come and then living in the grief or the hurt as a result of it.
We're acknowledging that and we're giving ourself a moment or a possibility of shifting and or stepping forward.
I think that, yeah, there's a lot of ways that we kind of hold on to and maintain and recreate our own suffering and resisting what is, is, and I could even make a case, right, the more we resist, right, or repress, quite literally, kind of
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