Nicole LePera, Ph.D.
speaker
380 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2026
last heard 29 Mar
Nicole LePera, Ph.D.’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Mar 2026 with 1.
Appearances
Because I did too much of this or not enough of that or I didn't show up in the way that mom needed me or whatever it might be.
So that kind of statement of personal acknowledgement where you shift that narrative for a child and you acknowledge, right, it might have felt like it was about you, but this had happened.
nothing to do with you that now begins to separate the shame that will develop if we're not told that because we will now say and believe we are unworthy because right insert whatever it is that we've picked up on in our environment and then we will own that as an inherent reflection of our unworthiness as opposed to a responsibility of our parent and a separateness from us
That is a beautiful, powerful, you know, kind of continued reminder for your child because that is the reality.
And that even translates to adulthood, right?
We are good people that have bad moments, right?
That might act and have hurt people.
you know, as an outcome of our reaction.
But again, I make a case in all of my work and this book included that even those overreactions, again, came from some time, some place where they were adaptive.
Like, so for instance, so many of us in our childhood that was highly unsafe had to develop a habit in protection to strike back
first, right, to go into that fight mode, to scream, to yell, to keep ourselves safe, again, in an unpredictable environment that then translates into, right, that's our go-to response.
And now we're screaming and yelling, protecting ourselves from our nine-year-old, right, but our mind kind of, we go quite literally, our body more so back in time as if we're the nine-year-old who had to strike first to protect ourselves from ourselves.
Siblings who were maybe abusive or a father or a mother who was, you know, unpredictable.
And that was the only way that you were able to gain some semblance of safety.
Yet now the context has completely changed, right?
It's not adaptive.
It's not helpful.
We don't want to repeat it.
But again, that was a protective adaptation and the only thing that you could do at one time.
I think ownership is kind of foundational right up there alongside of awareness.
Showing 121–140 of 380 · page 7 of 19
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